Fanboys Anonymous

Welcome to part 2 of my Fanboys Fix It of Pokemon Generation I.

As mentioned before, this was sponsored by Guest Five's donation on Patreon via the Pick Your Poison tier (donate today if you want to request a special feature of your own)

For the general setup and information on items, difficulty levels, HM/TMs and more generic stuff, go to part 1. Part 3 will be the story elements.

But this is part 2, which is the most complicated section and the biggest undertaking: the Pokedex.

Some Notes

- As I mentioned in part 1, this is all with the benefit of hindsight.

- That means in instances where a future evolution happened and they couldn't put it in the logical slot in the Pokedex, we can undo some of that. If you're dead set on "Dragonite must be #149"...well, too bad. That's not happening.

- I'm allowing myself the leeway of having 201 Pokemon. Gold, Silver and Crystal were on the same console and they had 251, so I don't think it's that much of a stretch for us to carry that over and just cut it down a bit.

- Genders are a thing. That allows more variation in design and slimming down on things like Nidoking/Nidoqueen taking up extra spots.

- Different forms are also a thing. You'll see.

- Breeding is a thing, like in Generation 2 and onward.

- Believe it or not, particularly when you get to how crazy I changed some things, I actually went into this with the goal in mind to change as little as possible. I could have done so much more!!

- I did an article in the past about Pokemon with wrong types that some of this is based on, although some of it is different from that.

- I'll be breaking down each Pokemon in clusters with all their new information.

Cut Pokemon

Yes, despite how I gave myself an extra 50-100 slots to work with, I ran out of space. I wanted to have a TON more ideas of original things, which I'll probably put in a separate article or something down the line, if you want to hear those ideas.

But even still, the new ideas combined with taking some Pokemon from future generations (for example, it's stupid to have just Magnemite and Magneton without Magnezone on this list) maxed out my numbers and I had to cut a bunch.

Some of these will be explained down below, like why I have no more Eeveelutions. Others, I'll address here:

• Venonat + Venomoth = I subscribe to the theory that these two and Butterfree had a crossover, and I just don't see the point. They can be repurposed for the next generation and not look like Butterfree variants.
• The Victreebel Trio = There's enough variation in the grass lines as it is, down below, and I wanted to expand on something like Tangela instead. Ultimately, knowing that there will be other games, I'd rather take this line of pitcher plant inspired Pokemon and make this trio part of the next generation's early catch ones, along with Hoppip, Jumpluff and Skiploom, for instance. I REALLY wanted to put those little cotton balls in here, too, by the way.
• Slowpoke + Slowbro + Slowking = You're going to hate me for this, but I thought it was necessary. The gimmick of a dumb Water-type Pokemon getting smarter and being part Psychic is already covered with Psyduck. Nobody knows what the hell Slowpoke really is. Is it half salamander, half hermit crab? It's at least partially inspired by sazae, which is a shellfish snail type thing, but it's got way too much going on. I'd rather revisit it another generation when we can play into the Shellder gimmick for an evolution. I even thought about having it be Water/Normal just for something different, and then I realized I would rather free up those 3 spots for more Pokemon.
• Dodrio = You'll see.
• Electrode = You'll see.
• Kabuto or Kabutops, or Omanyte or Omastar = You'll see.

Strap yourselves in. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

 The New Pokedex

000. Mew (Psychic or Psychic / Fairy)

- You think you only have 200 available to catch in the game, but you can get the 201st through some kind of special event (not under a truck). When you do that, your Pokedex changes to show it as 000 instead of 201, because it's the ancestor.

- Mew can either be pure Psychic or it can be Psychic/Fairy, as it's definitely fairy-like. I lean more toward just Psychic, though.

#001. Bulbasaur (Grass) → #002. Ivysaur (Grass) → #003. Venusaur (Grass / Poison)

- All starters will get a new typing for the third evolution, so my big change is that Bulbasaur and Ivysaur are pure Grass.

- I would definitely want to see an Electric form of this in some future game where it's a light bulb and the ivy is a set of electrical wiring.

#004. Charmander (Fire) → #005. Charmeleon (Fire) → #006. Charizard (Fire / Flying * Dragon)

- Charizard would be Fire / Flying by default, but you could make it replace Flying with Dragon if you gave it the evolutionary item that turns things into the Dragon type. I don't have a clear idea of what that would be, so for the purposes of this list, I'll just call it Dragon Scale.

#007. Squirtle (Water) → #008. Wartortle (Water) → #009. Blastoise (Water / Steel*)

- It has a cannon. Why isn't it part Steel?

- If you hate that it's Steel by default, we can make it optional with the Metal Coat.

#010. Caterpie (Bug) → #011. Kakuna (Bug) → #012. Butterfree (Bug / Flying)

- No changes, other than how Metapod was changed to the Kakuna name to make room for...

#013. Combee (Bug / Poison) → #014. Waspod (Bug / Poison) → #015. Thornet (Bug / Poison)

- Weedle is now Combee. It's a honeycomb larva.

- Waspod is basically Kakuna, but with a name change. That's why we got rid of Metapod. It's the honeycomb larva that wraps itself into a comb pod for metamorphosis.

- Beedrill was renamed because I like the name Thornet better and I use "drill" for another Pokemon.

#016. Pidgey (Flying) → #017. Quiccoo (Flying) → #018. Rushawk (Flying)

- I get that Pidgeotto is "pidgey at level 18" and Pidgeot is supposed to be "pidgey jet" but those names are confusing. So many people, myself included, feel like Pidgeotto sounds like it's the step after Pidgeot. So let's just bypass that entirely. Quiccoo is "quick coo" and Rushawk is "rush hawk" to showcase the speed getting better and becoming a bird that is super fast, which I would have reflected in its speed stat (and maybe attack).

- There's no need to be Normal with Flying. If you REALLY want it, though, I'm open to changing that.

#019. Spearow (Flying / Dark) → #020. Drearow (Flying / Dark) → #021. Fearkrow (Flying / Dark)

- This is basically Spearow and Fearow combined with Murkrow. Essentially, it's a vulture crow thing.
- The name of Drearow is based on "dreary" and Fearkrow is obviously fear crow.

#022. Rattata (Normal) → #023. Ratched (Normal) → #024. Raticate (Normal / Dark)

- Let's flesh out the rats to have a full three-tier evolution.
- Dark type because rats are gross and all.
- I considered giving this a Poison evolution and making it Ratiation.
- I also considered the name Rodentures, which is just ridiculous.

#025. Rabbid (Normal or Dark) → #026. Rabbeast (Normal or Dark) → #027. Rabbutcher (Normal or Dark + ****** )

- This is actually taking the place of both male and female Nidoran lines. I've condensed 6 into 3.

- Why the name change? Well, what is Nidoran and all that? They're a "porcupine needle rabbit gorilla rhino". I thought the more obvious was a rabbit, but that it takes on this monstrous, feral hunter vibe.

- As such, I wanted to name it something that lets you know it's an exterminator that will wreck your shit, so we're going with Rabbid for rabbit that is rabid, Rabbeast and Rabbutcher are pretty obvious.

* With regards to the typing, this thing is an apex predator. You can give it a bunch of items to change its typing so that it can learn how to hunt better. It can be Dragon, Fighting, Ice, Poison, Rock or Steel along with Normal or Dark. I couldn't decide if it's better as pure Normal or pure Dark at first, but I'd lean more toward pure Dark.

#028. Ekans (Poison) → #029. Arbok (Poison) → #030. Slahknir (Poison *)

- Snake. Kobra/cobra. There are damn near no good snake names that can be spelled backwards without being awkward.

Boa. Adnocana. Relttar. Ksilisab. Nohtyp. Repiv. (They're all terrible).

But there's a cobra called Rinkhals, so that works as Slahknir.

* Extra typing can make it either Poison / Dark or Poison / Dragon.

#031. Pichu (Electric) → #032. Pikachu (Electric) → #033. Raichu (Electric)

- You can't mess with the mascot.

#034. Armadig (Ground) → #035. Pangarmy (Ground) → #036. Armordrillo (Ground / *)

- This is Sandshrew and Sandslash. I love their designs and would elaborate on them and give them their proper due.

- It's based on a pangolin and an army helmet with its outer shell.

* Metal Coat makes it Ground / Steel
* Icy Coat makes it Ice / Steel or Ice / Ground, I'm not sure

#037. Cleffa (Fairy) → #038. Clefairy (Fairy) → #039. Clefable (Fairy)

- This line, not the Jigglypuff line, is the singer. It has clef in its name.

#040. Foxtot (Fire) → #041. Vulpix (Fire) → #042. Ninetales (Fire / Fairy)

- Foxtot is the baby. It has 3 tails.
- Vulpix is the same, so is Ninetales. The only difference is that it gains the Fairy type.

#043. Jigglypuff (Normal) → #044. Wigglytuff (Normal) → #045. Bigglybuff (Normal / Fighting)

- Not a singer, as I mentioned.
- Not Fairy, either.
- Instead, this is an angry little puff ball that puffs itself up to be bigger and tougher, until it becomes a fighter.
- The item you use to make it Fighting type? Boxing Gloves. (same item you'd give to Rabbutcher)

#046. Zubat (Poison / Dark) → #047. Golbat (Poison / Dark) → #048. Crobat (Poison / Dark)

- I think I'd rename these, but I don't know what names. Some kind of vampbite thing or something.

- No need for Poison / Flying. It'll be redundant with the Koffing line. These are more evil, so they get Dark. Plus, they're in caves, so all that more reason to be Dark.

#049. Oddish (Grass) → #050. Gloom (Grass / Dark) → #051. Vileplume (Grass / Dark)
#049. Oddish (Grass) → #052. Bellsprout (Grass / Fairy) → #053. Bellossum (Grass / Fairy)

- Split evolution.

- It's a mandrake that looks odd (and is one of my favorite Pokemon, so cute) and can turn out either ugly or beautiful.

- If you give it the ugly item, it goes to Gloom and Vileplume, where it's drooling and gross looking.
- If you give it the pretty item, it sprouts into the belle of the ball, and blossoms into beauty.

- The items are game-specific, encouraging trades.

- This is why there's no Victreebel line. In Generation 2, those 3 would return, but have names based on how they're the "pitcher" plant.

#054. Parasect (Bug / Grass) → #055. Parazytik (Bug / Poison) → #056. Parazombi (Bug / Ghost)

- Very similar to what we have now with Paras, but more fleshed out and with a name change for Parasitic and then eventually, parasitic zombie when it's a husk of its former self.

- Instead of staying Bug and Grass, it gets poisoned by the mushroom and then becomes a ghost when it's fully mind-controlled.

#057. Blindig (Ground / Dark) → #058. Shrewlunk (Ground / Dark) → #059. ??? (Ground / Dark)

- So here's the Diglett line reconceptualized.

- Instead of a mole that turns into 3 moles, this is more like another version of the Sandshrew line.

- I'm blanking on the names. I like Shrewlunk, which is a spin off a shrew and spelunking. I don't like Blindig, but I like incorporating "blind" in there. The third form should be a mole with the red star on it, but holy shit can we not name this Molestar...

- If you don't want it to be Dark type because you think that needs to stay Evil like how the type is in Japan, just make it pure Ground. It's found in caves, so I think it should be Dark.

#060. Luckitty (Normal) → #061. Meowth (Normal) → #062. Purrsian (Normal)

- I could work more on the names to go more with the fortune luck cat thing.

- At the very least, Persian should be Purrsian.

- If I had more room for another 3 Pokemon, I'd make a counterpart to this that is a black cat named Feraluck or something that is Ghost type and cursed instead of lucky.

- I gave strong consideration to making this a Psychic or Fairy type.

#063. Golduck (Water) → #064. Heduacke (Water / Psychic) → #065. Psyquack (Water / Psychic)

- The gold duck is the Golduck. That always bugged me.

- Heduacke is pronounced Hedwack. It's a play off headache, head quack, and head whack in that it slaps its head because it has a headache.

- Psyquack is obviously psychic quack duck.

- Yes, it is Psychic type now. The way it should be.

#066. Kongbatt (Fighting / Normal *) → #067. Guorilla (Fighting / Normal *) → #068. Primeape (Fighting / Normal *)

- This is the Mankey line. I hate the name Mankey, so I changed that.

- Names are kong combat and guerilla gorilla.

- Why Fighting / Normal instead of pure Fighting? I wanted to differentiate it from Machamp.

* Option to turn it into Fighting / Dark with an item because it'll fight dirty.

#069. Puppyre (Fire) → #070. Growlava / Growlcano (Fire) → #071. Volcanine (Fire)

- This is Growlithe and Arcanine with name changes and a third evo.

- The names are puppy with pyre, growl with volcano or lava, and volcano with canine.

- I do like the names Growlithe and Arcanine, but I like these better and they're more specific to a fire dog trio.

- I desperately wanted to put Houndour, Houndoom and a third evo with three heads that were all Fire / Dark to counterbalance this, but didn't have the room for it. Generation 2!

#072. Poliwag (Water) → #073. Poliwhirl (Water) → #074. Poliwave (Water)

-No Poliwrath. It's too similar to Poliwhirl. Instead, let's have an actual frog.

- Alternate names are Poliwade, Poliswirl, Poliswamp, Poliwash, Poliwell...

#075. Abra (Psychic) → #076. Kadabra (Psychic) → #077. Alakazam (Psychic)

- No changes.

- Okay maybe...MAYBE there's the chance you can play with the Steel type with the spoons by giving it Metal Coat. I don't know about that, though.

#078. Machump (Fighting) → #079. Machop (Fighting) → #080. Machamp (Fighting)

- I don't think Machoke is a good name. Why is it choking something? I'd rather it go from a chump of a weakling to something working its way through the chopping block until it becomes a champion.

#081. Tentacool (Water / Poison) → #082. Tentacull (Water / Poison) → #083. Tentacruel (Water / Poison)

- Middle evolution added with a name based on cull.

#084. Geodude (Rock* / Fighting) → #085. Graveler (Rock* / Fighting) → #086. Golum (Rock* / Fighting)

- I could put more work into the names, but at least I changed Golem.

- Icy Coat and Metal Coat turn it into Ice/Fighting and Steel/Fighting, naturally.

#087. Coalt (Fire) → #088. Torchorse (Fire) → #089. Charriot (Fire / Steel)

- Rapidash line redone. These are primarily male.

- Coalt is a play on colt and coal.
- Torchorse is torch horse.
- Charriot is char and chariot, with this being a horse in a chariot like Chariots of Fire.

#090. Ponyta (Fairy) → #091. Unequurn (Fairy) → #092. Pegasteed (Fairy / Flying)

- This is very clearly a counterpart horse based off a unicorn and a pegasus. These are primarily female.

- Ponytail / unicorn equus / pegasus steed

#093. Magnemite (Electric / Steel) → #094. Magnemate (Electric / Steel) → #095. Magneton (Electric / Steel)

- One, then two, then three. The logical progression. Not one and then three.

- You evolve this by having another Magnemite in your party for each evolutionary step and both are holding a magnetizer item or something like that. You have to "release" one of them, in a sense, as they fuse together. Basically, you have to pick one of them to get erased from your file.

#096. Fowlott (Flying / Grass *)

- This is Farfetch'd with a name change to play off fowl shallot.

- I considered making this Fighting, but there are enough of those. Maybe, if you give it Boxing Gloves, it gets that type.

 #097. Dodumbo (Normal / Ground *)

- Counterpart game exclusive variant to Fowlott.

- This is Doduo, but instead of it being 2 heads, it's just one. There's no Dodrio.

- It's a dodo that is a dumbo.

- Since it's so dumb, it can't fly, which makes it Normal and Ground. Stupid idiot.

- Maybe there's an item that can make it Normal / Flying, but I don't know. An item like Feather Wing or something.

#098. Seel/? (Water / Ice) → #099. Dewgong/? (Water / Ice) → #100. Narwhale (Water / Ice)

- Seel should never be just Seel. At least Spheal is a spherical seal, and Sealeo is a sea lion and all. The same goes for Dewgong being a dumb name. But I don't know what I would rename those two.

- The point is that they're taking up that spot with an evolution into a narwhal horned whale thing.

- I considered making Narwhale part Fairy, but I figured that could be revisited another time with more of a Popplio type performer sea lion thing rather than a narwhal that has to be Water and Ice.

- Maybe some names to think about are to do with tusks, mannatees, maybe Narwail instead of Narwhale, I don't know.

#101. Grimer (Poison) → #102. Slimess (Poison) → #103. Mukrud (Poison / Ground)

- This new form of Muk doesn't have to be part Ground, but since they're always on the ground and picking up dirt and grunge and all, it makes sense to me that by the time they get to the third evo, they're part Ground type.

#104. Shellder (Water / Rock *) → #105. Clamperl (Water / Rock *) → #106. Cloyster (Water / Rock *)

- Icy Coat can turn it into Water / Ice.
- Metal Coat can turn it into Water / Steel.

#107. Gastly (Ghost) → #108. Haunter (Ghost) → #109. Gengar (Ghost / Dark)

- They never should have been Poison. They should be pure Ghost or, better yet, Ghost and Dark, since they're pretty damn evil.

#110. (baby Onix) (Ground / Rock) → #111. Onix (Ground / Rock) → #112. (Onix evo) (Ground / Rock *)

- I can't settle on names. Wyrm would be in there, as that's perfect for an earthworm dragon thing. Pebblix for the baby? Dragrond for ground dragon?

* Metal Coat turns it into Steel / Ground
* Icy Coat turns it into Ice / Ground
* Dragon Scale turns it into Dragon / Ground

#113. Drowzee (Psychic) → #114. Sleepir (Psychic) → #115. Hypno (Psychic)

- The Sleepir name is based on sleep and tapir and "sleepier". I couldn't think of something for baku. Mesmerem was an idea for mesmerize and REM sleep as a third step after Hypno, though, if you want to pick my brain and get rid of Sleepir and switch things around.

#116. Krabby (Water) → #117. Kingler (Water) → #118. Krabrawler (Water / Fighting)

- Yeah, I'm stealing Krabrawler from Sun and Moon, giving it a completely different design (as it wouldn't make sense as an evolution of Kingler) and turning this line into an eventual Fighting type. Big deal. Wanna fight about it?

#119. Phantorb / Poltorbgeist / Balltorbgeist / Balltergeist (Ghost / Steel)

- This is Voltorb. Instead of it being an Electric type that looks like a Pokeball, it's a ghost that possesses different Pokeballs.

- I can't pick a name. You pick.

- Its gimmick is that it can look like ANY of the Pokeballs and it changes its appearance based on the type that you catch it with. It also changes its attributes, so that if you catch it with a Master Ball, it has some crazy good stats, and if you catch it with a Quick Ball, it has higher speed and so forth.

#120. Exeggcute (Grass / Psychic) → #121. Exeggutor (Grass / Psychic) → #122. Exeggution (Grass / Psychic)

- I'm phoning it in with Exeggution, but what other name could we go with? Exeggutive and give it a suit? Exeggcrate for the first form, then Exeggcute and then Exeggutor? I'm scrambled. I mean, I'm not about to suggest the baby form is a bunch of sleepy eggs that haven't fully woken up and hatched yet and could be Eggshausted. We're kind of limited.

- The concept would be similar to what we have, but with either the current Exeggutor being a third evo (and there being a middle step between the eggs and the tree) or a third evo gives Exeggutor hands and maybe even pineapple or coconut biceps.

#123. Cubone (Fighting / Ground) → #124. Marowak (Fighting / Ground) → #125. Kangaskhan (Fighting / Ground)

- Yep. Cubone is totally Kangaskid. It was originally meant to be that way and it just makes sense.

- Since kangaroos are fighters, they absolutely should be Fighting type.

#126. Hitmontyke (Fighting) → #127. Hitmonlee (Fighting)
#126. Hitmontyke (Fighting) → #128. Hitmonchan (Fighting)

- Split evolution with the same attributes and mechanics, basically, although I never quite understood why Lee has higher attack and Chan has higher defense. If anything, I would think it should be that Lee has higher attack and Chan has higher special attack.

- Tyrogue is Hitmontyke to keep the Hitmon prefix. If you don't like that name, replace it with anything else like Hitmonkid.

- There is a Hitmontop in the next generation, but it's not related to these. Instead, it's named Topoeira and it's its own thing.

#129. Lickitung (Normal)

- In Gen 2, we'll introduce a baby version of this named Liltung.
- Lickilicky is a monstrosity, though, in design and in name. A third evo for it would not be that.
- This is somewhat of a counterpart to Snorlax.

#130. Koffing (Poison / Flying) → #131. Weezing (Poison / Flying) → #132. Choaking / Suffokating (Poison / Flying)

- C'mon. This is obvious with the names. I did think about Hakking for hacking as a pre-evo form, too.

- Since I wanted to give the Zubat line Dark instead of Flying, it's perfect that this can be our Poison / Flying combo. They're poisonous flying gas clouds. Duh.

#133. Rhynorn (Rock) → #134. Rhyhorn (Rock) → #135. Rhydon (Rock / *)

- Rhyno with no horn is the first thing.

- Since this is a dinosaur kind of monster, Dragon Scale can turn it into Rock / Dragon.

#136. Togepi (Normal / Fairy) → #137. Togetic (Normal / Fairy) → #138. Chansey (Normal / Fairy)

- Big change, but it makes sense to me. Togepi is the egg, Togetic is a chicken, and Chansey is an egg-shaped chicken with an egg. It's the circle of life.

- That means they're part of a pair with the Kangaskhan line, by the way. Both are "motherly" in a sense with an offspring in a pouch.

- This plays off the "chicken and the egg" concept.

- The names would have to be altered to fit that, but I couldn't think of any yet. You can't just go with Chickegg and say that that's not horrendous.

#139. Tangulb (Grass) → #140. Tangulbush (Grass) → #141. Tangulweed (Grass / Ground)

- Baby Tangela is a bulb. It then is a tangled bush (current Tangela), and then it's a tumbleweed, basically, which looks nothing like Tangrowth as that's hideous.

- It picks up the Ground type because, well, tumbleweeds roll on the ground.

- I thought about Tanguldreads (tangled dreadlocks). I also thought about Tangulwig for twig, and tangled wig of hair.

#142. Horsea (Water) → #143. Seaddle (Water) → #144. Seadra (Water / Dragon)

- Kingdra is ugly looking. Seadra is so much cooler, so that design would be the final. There would be a middle evolution between Horsea and Seadra that looks more like it has a saddle to play up the sea horse gimmick. Then, the saddle would turn into the spikes that Seadra has.

#145. Golppy (Water / Fairy) → #146. Fanseatail (Water / Fairy) → #147. Seaking Renamed (Water / Fairy)

- Let's make Goldeen a line that doesn't have the gender problem of queen/king.

- Golppy is goldfish guppie.
- Fanseatail is fancy sea tail, based on the fantail goldfish.
- I don't know the name for the third, but it would be based on Ryukin or Shubunkin.

#148. Staryu (Water / Psychic) → #149. Starmie (Water / Psychic) → #150. Starwei (Water / Psychic)

- I tried to give it another type instead of Psychic to avoid the ducks, but this is all the more reason why we needed to get rid of Slowpoke, cause the Staryu line is too good to mess with, other than its design.

- Staryu and Starmie would look the same. Starwei would take the 2 starfish from Starmie and go in the next direction where it would have a second gem in the middle, positioned to where it looks like eyes, instead of a cyclops.

#151. Emimime (Normal / Psychic)

- This is Mr. Mime, but since genders make more sense, we're not calling it Mr. The name is like Girafarig in that it's a palindrome for mime backwards.

- Normal, not Fairy, because mimes aren't actually doing anything, so everything is normal.

- It's counterpart is...

#152. Yukiona (Ice / *)

- So this is Jynx, essentially, which is based on the yuki onna, which is a snow woman ghost fairy thing that preys on people.

* I don't know what secondary type to give this. It has to be either Ice / Fairy, Ice / Dark, or Ice / Ghost. I don't think Ice / Psychic works as well. My gut tells me Ice / Dark or Ice / Fairy, but it's up for debate.

 #153. Jynx (Fairy / Dark)

- Wait, what? I thought you just said you did Jynx. Yeah, well, I did, as #152 is the Nordic opera singer ghost thingy that people think is racist. This is different.

- This is a voodoo priest / priestess (depending on the gender variant, obviously). I thought about naming it something based on Baron Samedi but I couldn't think of anything.

- It's Fairy and Dark because it's using evil magic.

#154. Voodoll (Ghost / Psychic)

- A counterpart to Jynx. This is a voodoo doll. Not quite like Banette, as that's a possessed marionette puppet. That concept can still come into a future generation. This is more like the scrapped idea they actually did have with the pin through its heart.

- Instead of the Cubone storyline in Lavendar Tower, you'd be dealing with this little guy.

#155. Seaxor (Bug / Steel) → #156. Scizor (Bug / Steel) → #157. Scyther (Bug / Steel)

- Seax is a term for a knife. I wanted to get this as close to the other names as possible. Originally, I was trying to work with Prune and Praying Mantis for something awful like Pruyntis. Snippor was another, for snipping something instead of cutting. Shearther was another for shearing something.

- I think scissors are less intimidating than a scythe, so let's swap those around and make it have bigger stabby things for the final evo.

- It's not flying because praying mantis don't fly.

#158. Weetle (Bug) → #159. Scarabeat (Bug / Fighting) → #160. Heraclash (Bug / Fighting)

- This is a baby scarab, then Pinsir, then Heracross.

- That Weedle name makes me think weed for grass type, but in this case, it's repurposed as "wee beetle" as in "small beetle", similar to the Machump thing.

- I don't love the middle evo's name, but it's the best I could do with scarab, battle, beetle, beat like how it's a scarab that beats down its opponents in a battle type of beetle. Is it the best name? Nope. But it's better than Seel.

- Heraclash is Heracles for the Hercules beetle, just like Heracross, but instead of a cross, clash is more dominating sounding and works better with Heracles.

#161. Elekid (Electric / Fighting) → #162. Electabuzz (Electric / Fighting) → #163. Electiger (Electric / Fighting)

- Counterpart to the Pinsir thing above.

- Eye of the tiger, baby.

#164. Magby (Fire) → #165. Magmar (Fire) → #166. Magmortar (Fire)

- No differences, although Magby should have the spiky head design it originally had.

#167. Yakkid (Normal) → #168. Halfncalf (Normal) → #169. Miltank (Normal)
#167. Yakkid (Normal) → #170. Bullvine (Normal) → #171. Taurox (Normal)

- Split evolution.

- Yakkid is a baby cow. Alternative name, if you think there are too many "kid" names, would be something based on "veal" because I'm twisted.

- Halfncalf is the female version, based on Half-and-Half. Miltank is the same.
- Bullvine is bull/bovine. Male version becomes Tauros, as expected, but with a slight name change so it's Taurus Ox and Toro.

#172. Magikarp (Water) → #173. Searpent (Water / Dragon) → #174. Gyarados / Skullkraken (Water / Dragon)

- Searpent is a sea serpent.

- The Gyarados name can stick if you're worried about the Skullkraken thing being too harsh, as that's what originally happened, but man, Skullkraken is bad ass sounding.

- Of course this is Water / Dragon, the way it should be!

- However, if there's that item that makes Dodumbo a Flying type, then maybe I'll allow Water / Flying as a variant.

#175. Laampeep (Electric / Fairy) → #176. Baattary (Electric / Fairy) → #177. ACDSheep / Acedesheep (Electric / Fairy)

- This is the Mareep line with new names.

- We need more Electric types and this should be Fairy because lambs and sheep are in lots of fables and that kind of material.

- Laampeep is lamb, lamp, sheep, baa and bo peep. I almost went with Lambpere for lamb and ampere.

- Baattary is baa and battery

- ACDSheep or Acedesheep is ACDC, alternating current / direct current.

#178. Immutton / Clonewe / Dupewe / Forgewe / Shadewe (Ghost) → #179. Duolly (Ghost) → #180. Baansheep (Ghost)

- This is based on Dolly, the cloned sheep.

- You can find this in this game's version of Pokemon Mansion in Cinnabar (which isn't a mansion) as that's the location where they tested on cloning Mew.

- We're leaning into this that Laampeep was one of the experiments, along with Ditto, Gastly, whatever else you might want to lump in there. But these three sheep are a direct variation of the Electric and Fairy ones, similar to how Gengar and Clefable are shadows.

- Immutton is immitate mutton. Clonewe, Dupewe, Forgewe and Shadewe are all clone, dupe, forge and shade ewe, which sounds like "clone you" and such, as well as the latter being "shadow" in a way. Better names than my original ideas of Dollamb, Shammary, but I'm not sure which I like better.

- Duolly is Dolly and duo because the sheep now has 2 heads.

- Baansheep is baa, banshee and sheep.

#181. Nessio (Ice / Dragon) → #182. Lokness (Ice / Dragon) → #183. Loknessaur (Ice / Dragon)

- This is Lapras, but that name is stupid. Why is it named after Laplace?

- Nessio is Nessie and plesiosaur.
- Lokness is Loch Ness.
- Loknessaur is Loch Ness plesiosaur.

- This line is kind of a counterpart to Dragonite.

#184. Ditto (Normal)

- No changes. Love this guy.

#185. Eevee (Normal) | #186. Vaporeon (Water) | #187. Jolteon (Electric) | #188. Flareon (Fire) | #189. Leafeon (Grass)

- I really think there needs to be an Eeveelution of every type, including normal (named Eeveeon), but I didn't have enough room to have every type here, so I figured we'd stay with the core elements that are represented in the starters.

It bugs me that I can't have room for a Flying type and a Steel type to round out the whole Air and Metal thing, as Grass is standing in for Wood/Earth (otherwise, I'd also need Ground and Rock cause which one is Earth, right?)

But there should be groupings. The next generation should have Psychic, Fairy, Ghost, Dark and Fighting together. Then, one of them should have Rock, Ground, Steel Ice and Poison, maybe. Last would be I guess knocking out Dragon, Bug, Flying and Normal, but I don't see much of a connection point between those other than "the leftovers" unless you played into dragon fly bugs and left Normal out of the mix for another game.

 #190. Porygon (Normal / *)

- Porygon is a digital thing. It should have the ability to turn into ANY type, with or without Normal, depending on your preference. I'd go for pure in that it replaces the Normal type, but I can be swayed for the dual-type scenario.

- In the next generation, there would be an evolutionary item called Upgrade that would evolve it to Porygon2.0 and then eventually, Porygon3 (stylzed Porygon³)

#191. Scorpsean (Water / Ground)

- This is the best name I could think of for Kabuto/Kabutops. It's only one Pokemon. Kabuto is lame and Kabutops can be cool, but it looks too much like Scyther. This sea scorpion horseshoe crab eurypterid thing would be from the Kabuto Fossil.

- There's only one form of this No Omanyte or Omastar. Save them for another game (and name that Nautylus and make it part Dark, while calling its fossil the Omanyte Fossil).

- Ground and Water instead of Rock and Water because I want some variety and they are from the water's surface.

#192. Aerodactyl (Rock / Flying *)

- This is the new counterpart with the whole "pick a fossil" thing. You don't just get Aerodactyl in both games. You either pick the Ground or Flying fossil, essentially, not two identical Water and Rock ones.

* Dragon Scale allows it to be Rock / Dragon as it was originally Dragon / Flying, but it can't get rid of how its still a fossil.

* Metal Coat maybe for Steel / Flying? Probably not, but it's a thought. The same for Icy Coat and Ice / Flying, but I doubt it.

#193. Snorlax (Normal)

- No changes to this guy.

- Munchlax would come in a future generation, but look different and have a different name. Then, there would be another evo between the baby and Snorlax. Snorlax itself is the end of the line.

#194. Articuno (Ice / Flying) | #195. Zapdos (Electric / Flying) | #196. Moltres (Fire / Flying)

- I really wanted to put Skarmory in here or a Psychic / Flying controller, or a Water / Flying legendary, but there's no room.

- By the way, Moltres would need to be VERY clearly not a phoenix. Ho-Oh and Moltres seem too similar. Spoiler for Generation 2, but I don't have Ho-Oh as Fire/Flying. I have it as Fire/Psychic to differentiate it. But I think this needs to really hit home that these three are more weather-based with Moltres being warm weather, Articuno being cold weather, and Zapdos being thunderstorms. Maybe their designs should even incorporate clouds and we can get rid of the genies like Landorus.

#197. Dratini (Dragon) | #198. Dragonair (Dragon) → #199. Dragonite (Dragon / Flying)

- Make them all a similar color and you're good.

- I would consider renaming Dragonair to something and giving Dragonite the Dragonair name, though. Maybe something like Dracoslyth cause it slithers like a snake? That sounds too complicated and Dragonite is a cool name, so screw it, let's keep it.

#200. Mewtwo (Psychic or Psychic / Dark)

- Mewtwo has the potential to be super evil, but it's not an inherently evil creature. In fact, that's kind of part of the point. So there would be an optional item that you could give it to revert it to the Psychic / Dark combo, but it would be pure Psychic otherwise.

I could write another whole 250 into the mix just to get the BASIC ones in the mix. Another article for another time, maybe.

That's it for the Pokedex, but we're not done yet!!! Stay tuned for part 3!

Welcome to another edition of Fanboys Fix It, where instead of just complaining about what we don't like about something, we try to figure out how we can make it better.

Normally, this is about rewriting a film to correct its major problems. This time around, I'll be focusing my efforts on a theoretical remake of a video game—actually, multiple games.

I've been working on this project for some time and with the benefit of Guest Five's donation on Patreon via the Pick Your Poison tier (donate today if you want to request a special feature of your own), I've finally been able to set aside the time to finish it.

What I'll be doing here is tossing out my ideas of how to make a better version of Generation 1 of Pokemon by retooling lots of things in Pokemon Red, Pokemon Blue and Pokemon Yellow.

Before we get started, I have to preface this with a bunch of notes, as this is an exhaustive process that needs some clarification.

1. Obviously, I'm not actually remaking the game. I have absolutely zero knowledge in making video games.

2. That also means I can't talk about the actual glitches in the game (not that I'd remove MissingNo). Just assume that something like the Focus Energy problem is just naturally fixed, because, well, why wouldn't I want to fix that?

3. We are fully treating this like a fantasy and giving myself the extreme benefit of hindsight. They never would have been able to know these things back when they made the original games.

4. I'll be spreading this out in 3 parts. The first will address some basic things for the overall games, part 2 will dive into the Pokedex and part 3 will be about the story and the trainers and such.

To begin, let's do a little more setup on what we're working with here...

Enter: Pokemon Green

The first thing I need to address with my reboot is that there would actually be 4 games, not 3.

Originally, Pokemon was split in two with Green and Red versions (Venusaur and Charizard as the mascots). Then, Blue came out with Blastoise and Pikachu, naturally, was the mascot for Yellow. There's even a chance they were going to make Pokemon Pink and Pokemon Brown, supposedly, with Clefairy and Eevee as the mascots.

It always confused me as a kid that there were games with the colors of all the starters except for Bulbasaur. Sure, it was my least favorite of the four by far, but it felt strange to just cast it aside like that.

So for my remake, there would actually be 3 versions of the normal game with Yellow being the oddball, essentially. All 3 versions would function the way they always do, with some Pokemon available only in one, so you'd have to trade between them. There wouldn't be some rule now where if you pick Blue, you can only get Squirtle or something like that. I'm not that cruel, even if I'm forcing people to spend more money. But, maybe as a compromise, the games could be individually cheaper or something. Generally speaking, if each game were normally $60, let's make them $50 so people are more inclined to buy a triple pack of all three for $125. Maybe that's not the right pricing. Ask the boys in marketing and sales.

If need be, let's keep it to just Red, Blue and Yellow, for simplicity's sake with rewriting history.

Pokemon Types

Dark, Steel and Fairy are a thing, just like they are in remakes like Let's Go.

There is also Typeless, in which a Pokemon has no type. Every move works against it (no immunities) and nothing is super effective.

I think I would also use the type effectiveness chart that I redid before, although that is a little outdated and could probably use some more tweaking.

Difficulty Settings

One of my top 5 video games of all time (the other 4 being Pokemon Gen 1/2 lumped together, Donkey Kong Country, Super Mario 3 and Kirby Super Star, in no particular order) is GoldenEye. In that game, I loved how there were 4 difficulty options in Agent, Secret Agent and 00 Agent with 007 mode being kind of a sandbox scenario that you could tweak some stuff like enemy health.

It would be too crazy for Pokemon to have the ability for people to mess with the trainers and all, but it wouldn't be too much to ask for an Easy, Normal and Hard difficulty mode to pick from.

It's pretty self-explanatory. Easy Mode has trainers with lower levels, less wild encounters in caves and such, a higher catch-rate for capturing Pokemon and so forth. Hard bumps up the encounter rate, battle levels and everything else.

This gives little kids the chance to play the game without being too frustrated, but adults don't find it too much of a breeze.

Field Moves / HMs / TMs / Equipment

TMs are reusable. They should have been that way from the start and I'm glad the series eventually realized it was better to not make them a 1x use. Some TMs are found, some are given to you by trainers and some are purchased.

There are no HMs in this game. It's a concept that has been replaced by much better options and it was always frustrating that you had to take up slots on your moves just to get around the area. I also absolutely hated teaching my Charmander the move Cut in my first playthrough of Red before realizing I couldn't undo it.

Instead, HMs are replaced by Equipment/Tools and Field Moves/Skills, which work similar to how we've seen some things in other games. These are as follows:

Equipment / Tools

These are things you have in your backpack that function like the Bike and Poke Flute (which are two of these).

• Running Shoes = available pretty early on (after the first gym?) to use until you get the Bike
• Bike = Instead of the ludicrous idea that it costs a million bucks, you'll just not be able to purchase one at first. Cycling Road will block you from part of the game and you'll only be able to navigate that when you get a bike, which will only happen once you do something else (not sure what). In the meantime, the bike shop will be closed with the owner away. He'll return once you advance to a certain point. Then, the Bike makes it so you can travel faster. Duh. 
• Poke Flute
• Fishing Rod = just one; you complete tasks to learn how to upgrade your skill level and become a better fisher
  
• Escape Rope
• Coin Case
• Amulet Coin = you get it from some in-story thing with a Meowth
• Itemfinder
• Exp. Share
  
• Flashlight = replaces HM Flash
• Shears = replaces HM Cut
• Surfboard = replaces HM Surf (possibly)
• Hammer = replaces Rock Smash (possibly)
  

Field Moves / Skills

Field Moves, aka Skills, are when you beat certain trainers and they pass on knowledge so you have the ability to teach any Pokemon of yours to do specific things in the terrain. It's another variation of the HM concept similar to what we saw with ride Pokemon and such.

• Surf = if there's no Surfboard tool
• Rock Smash = if there's no Rock Hammer tool
• Dig
• Fly
• Dive
• Waterfall
• Whirlpool
  
• Teleport
• Strength
• Rock Climb
• Defog (not necessary?)
  
• Headbutt (not necessary?)
  
• Chatter (not necessary?) 
  

What does this mean for those actual moves the Pokemon can learn? Well, they're replaced with other variations that can do similar things.

For instance, Dig, Dive and Fly are parallels, right? Just have the same moves, but call them Burrow, Submerge and Hover or High-Ground. Cut and Strength have nothing keeping them interesting, so they're just gone entirely. Surf could just be a water move equivalent of Thunderbolt/Ice Beam/Flamethrower called Tidal Wave. Basically, if it serves a purpose, keep the move, but rename it to something else so it isn't confusing with Waterfall, for instance. That can just be White Water or Rapids or Torrent or whatever.

Held Items / Type-Changers / Evolutionary Stones & More

- Pokemon can hold items. Once that happened in Gen 2, we can't look back.

- Berries to heal and things like Spell Tag to boost power are all the way they should be from Gen 2 onward, too. Iron Ball lets Flying types get hit with Ground moves, while Air Balloon makes things levitate to avoid Ground moves. There's something to ground out electric moves, etc.

- There are also items that can change a Pokemon's type. I'll dive deeper into the specifics of which Pokemon can do what, but in general, here's a breakdown:

* Porygon has the ability to change into any type with items that "upload" that function to its computer system. Let's just call these things like Psychic Disk and Bug Disk.
* Metal Coat turns certain Pokemon into the Steel type.
* Dragon Scale (or another name for it) turns certain Pokemon into the Dragon type by tapping into their more dragonlike side or whatever your rationalization is.
* There's maybe one of these for Electric (static cling?), Ice, Poison and Fire, but I'm not sure. We'll hammer out those details another time, team.

- Most Pokemon evolve through level-up. None evolve by trade. I've always hated that mechanic. If I want an Alakazam, why am I giving YOU a Kadabra to get my Alakazam? Stupid. But any Pokemon that doesn't evolve by a natural level-up evolves with the help of some sort of item.

- For the most part, those are stones or some evolve with the help of stones or other items.

-Magneton, for instance, evolves from holding a Magnet and you need to have 2 Magnemites on your team. Slowpoke evolves into Slowbro if you have a Shellder on your team and both are holding some kind of something. Crap like that. I won't name them all.

- As far as the evolutionary stones themselves go, let's clean this up a bit in hindsight and have Fire Stone, Water Stone, Thunder Stone, Leaf Stone, Ice Stone, and Moon Stone. Maybe a Dawn Stone and Sun Stone, if need be.

Pokeball Notes

- You can access the PC anywhere. Wi-Fi. This is a modern reboot.

- I like the wider variation of Pokeballs that you can use in some other games, although I think they're a little messy now. I'd clean them up by only having these:

• Poke Ball = low catch rate
• Great Ball = medium catch rate
• Ultra Ball = high catch rate
• Master Ball = guaranteed catch rate
  

• Dusk Ball = for use in caves or at night
• Heavy Ball = works better on heavier Pokemon
• Net Ball = works better for bug, flying and water Pokemon
• Speed Ball = works better on quick Pokemon

- Something I'll get into later with the Pokedex, but my version of Voltorb isn't an Electric type, isn't named Voltorb, and changes its appearance based on the Pokeball you capture it in. More on that, later.

Other Miscellaneous Notes

- You can pick the girl or boy character.

- Storage is like newer games. You don't have a PC, and it's definitely not "Someone's PC" until you meet Bill. You have access to a backpack with all stuff on a Wi-Fi system, in a way, for storing items, Pokemon and more.

- Time is a thing. This is how the Safari Zone works (not based on steps or balls).

- There is a day and night cycle, as well as seasons. Both influence the encounters and the battles.

- Naturally, in turn, the locations of battles and things like Sunny Day are in this remake.

- Friendship is a thing. So are natures, but I think I'd want to clean that up a bit, as I'm honestly confused about how Timid and whatever work.

- Genders are a thing. We'll talk more about that with Nidoran and the concept of variants.

We're just getting started! This was just setting up some of the basic stuff. For part 2 of this endeavor, we'll be talking about the Pokemon themselves with a breakdown of the new Pokedex!

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Andy Serkis is Alfred Pennyworth / Colin Farrell for Penguin

Serkis is Alfred?? Farrell is going to possibly be Penguin?? Don't they kind of seem flipped??

I don't know. The more the casting for this movie goes on, the more worried about this film I'm getting.

70s Japanese Spider-Man Set for Into the Spider-Verse Sequel

As much as that show was atrocious, it's exactly the type of thing to make fun of in this new film. I'm 100% down.

Joker is the Most Profitable Superhero Film of All Time

Due to its low budget and big box office return, Joker is top of the food chain for making the most money in relation to its expenses. That's awesome!

Slow News Week

This was another week with pretty much nothing going on that stood out to me to talk about. Sorry! As always, if I missed something you'd like me to address, leave a comment and I'll respond.

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous REVIEWPOINT podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of Terminator: Dark Fate by discussing what worked, what didn't, and whether you should see it or skip it.

Sarah Connor and a hybrid cyborg human must protect a young girl from a newly modified liquid Terminator from the future.

Make sure to subscribe/follow on whatever platform you're listening, leave your comments on the videos or this post, share this with your friends and geek out with us!

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Rami Malek's Character in No Time to Die

The next James Bond villain has been named and he will be called Safin. So how is that pronounced? SAY-fin? Sah-FIN? SA-fin like satin? Soften?

Original Deadpool 2 Plans from Tim Miller

Vanessa would have become Copycat, Juggernaut would have been The Thing and Miller really wanted a 6 ft 7 inch tall actor to be Cable.

I'm curious about the Copycat stuff and how that would have worked out. Swapping Juggernaut for The Thing is a downgrade, to me. I've never been a big fan of The Thing. As far as Cable, I think Josh Brolin did a good enough job, but he isn't irreplaceable and they could have found someone taller to do it without it being a problem.

Lucifer Final Season to be Split

Apparently, the next and final season of Lucifer will be split between two sections with 8 episodes, then a break, then another 8.

I like this. It's almost like getting two seasons without them having to try to stretch one specific story arc into 16 episodes. They can cover a lot of ground and not overload everyone. Good call!

Jumanji: The Next Level Final Trailer

Admittedly, this one looked less interesting than the original.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Sequel Announced for 2022

Woo. What else to say? Curious what it'll be about.

Ant-Man 3 for 2022

Woo. What else to say? I'm curious what they call it. Maybe "Ant-Men and the Wasps" with both Hank and Janet in the mix? What about Stature? I keep thinking they need to do Black Ant and/or Slaying Mantis as villains, most likely along with some other people. The more people on the team, the more villains you need.

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in November 2019?

Terminator: Dark Fate

Synopsis: Sarah Connor and a hybrid cyborg human must protect a young girl from a newly modified liquid Terminator from the future.

Will I watch? = Yes

The Irishman

Synopsis: A mob hitman recalls his possible involvement with the slaying of Jimmy Hoffa.

Will I watch? = Yes

Harriet

Synopsis: The extraordinary tale of Harriet Tubman's escape from slavery and transformation into one of America's greatest heroes, whose courage, ingenuity, and tenacity freed hundreds of slaves and changed the course of history.

Will I watch? = No

Motherless Brooklyn

Synopsis: In 1950s New York, a lonely private detective afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome ventures to solve the murder of his mentor and only friend.

Will I watch? = No

Arctic Dogs

Synopsis: An Arctic fox works in the mailroom of a package delivery service, but wants to be doing the deliveries.

Will I watch? = No

Inside Game

Synopsis: In 2007, when NBA referee Tim Donaghy (Eric Mabius) got caught betting on games he worked, he said two men associated with the Gambino crime family - a bookie named Baba Battista (Will Sasso) and a drug dealer named Tommy Martino (Scott Wolf) - threatened to kill his family if he didn't give them gambling picks. That's what Donaghy told the FBI, that's what he told 60 Minutes, and that's what he testified in court. But that's not what really happened. That's not even close. INSIDE GAME is the untold true story of one of the biggest scandals in sports history.

Will I watch? = No

The Portal

Synopsis: It follows six people (and a robot) who transform their lives using stillness and mindfulness, providing inspiration as we embark on the next phase of evolution.

Will I watch? = No


Doctor Sleep

Synopsis: Years following the events of "The Shining," a now-adult Dan Torrance must protect a young girl with similar powers from a cult known as The True Knot, who prey on children with powers to remain immortal.

Will I watch? = Yes

Last Christmas

Synopsis: Kate is a young woman subscribed to bad decisions. Her last date with disaster? That of having accepted to work as Santa's elf for a department store. However, she meets Tom there. Her life takes a new turn. For Kate, it seems too good to be true.

Will I watch? = No

Midway

Synopsis: The story of the Battle of Midway, told by the leaders and the sailors who fought it.

Will I watch? = No

Honey Boy

Synopsis: A young actor's stormy childhood and early adult years as he struggles to reconcile with his father and deal with his mental health.

Will I watch? = No

The Kingmaker

Synopsis: Documentary centering on the controversial political career of Imelda Marcos, the former first lady of the Philippines whose behind-the-scenes influence of her husband Ferdinand's presidency rocketed her to the global political stage.

Will I watch? = No

Playing with Fire

Synopsis: A crew of rugged firefighters meet their match when attempting to rescue three rambunctious kids.

Will I watch? = No

Mr. Toilet: The World's #2 Man

Synopsis: Jack Sim, aka "Mr. Toilet," is a crusader for global sanitation. Born in the Singapore slums, Sim knows firsthand the agonies of not having a proper loo. Now he's dedicating his life to a crisis no one dares talk about.

Will I watch? = No

Better Days

Synopsis: A bullied teenage girl forms an unlikely friendship with a mysterious young man who protects her from her assailants, all while she copes with the pressures of her final examinations.

Will I watch? = No


Charlie's Angels

Synopsis: When a young systems engineer blows the whistle on a dangerous technology, Charlie's Angels are called into action, putting their lives on the line to protect us all.

Will I watch? = Maybe...probably not

Ford v Ferrari

Synopsis: American car designer Carroll Shelby and driver Ken Miles battle corporate interference, the laws of physics and their own personal demons to build a revolutionary race car for Ford and challenge Ferrari at the 24 Hours of Le Mans in 1966.

Will I watch? = Maybe...probably not

The Good Liar

Synopsis: Consummate con man Roy Courtnay has set his sights on his latest mark: the recently widowed Betty McLeish, worth millions. But this time, what should have been a simple swindle escalates into a cat-and-mouse game with the ultimate stakes.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Waves

Synopsis: Traces the journey of a suburban family - led by a well-intentioned but domineering father - as they navigate love, forgiveness, and coming together in the aftermath of a loss.

Will I watch? = No

Scandalous: The Untold Story of the National Enquirer

Synopsis: 'Scandalous' is the sensational true story of The National Enquirer, the infamous tabloid with a prescient grasp of its readers' darkest curiosities.

Will I watch? = No

The Warrior Queen of Jhansi

Synopsis: A tale of women's empowerment, The Warrior Queen of Jhansi tells the true story of Lakshmibai, the historic Queen of Jhansi who fiercely led her army against the British East India Company in the infamous mutiny of 1857.

Will I watch? = No

Mickey and the Bear

Synopsis: Faced with the responsibility to take care of her addict, veteran father, headstrong teen Mickey Peck keeps her household afloat.

Will I watch? = No


Frozen II

Synopsis: Anna, Elsa, Kristoff, Olaf and Sven leave Arendelle to travel to an ancient, autumn-bound forest of an enchanted land. They set out to find the origin of Elsa's powers in order to save their kingdom.

Will I watch? = Maybe

A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

Synopsis: Based on the true story of a real-life friendship between Fred Rogers and journalist Tom Junod.

Will I watch? = Yes

21 Bridges

Synopsis: An embattled NYPD detective is thrust into a citywide manhunt for a pair of cop killers after uncovering a massive and unexpected conspiracy.

Will I watch? = Yes

Dark Waters

Synopsis: A corporate defense attorney takes on an environmental lawsuit against a chemical company that exposes a lengthy history of pollution.

Will I watch? = No

Citizen K

Synopsis: The strange case of Mikhail Khodorkovsky, once believed to be the wealthiest man in Russia, who rocketed to prosperity and prominence in the 1990s, served a decade in prison, and became an unlikely martyr for the anti-Putin movement.

Will I watch? = No

Hala

Synopsis: Muslim teenager Hala copes with the unraveling of her family as she comes into her own.

Will I watch? = No

Shooting the Mafia

Synopsis: Italian photographer Letizia Battaglia spends her career documenting the life and crimes of the Mafia.

Will I watch? = No


Knives Out

Synopsis: A detective investigates the death of a patriarch of an eccentric, combative family.

Will I watch? = Yes

Queen & Slim

Synopsis: A couple's first date takes an unexpected turn when a police officer pulls them over.

Will I watch? = No


Which films make the cut?

Honorable Mentions — Charlie's Angels is a Netflix at best. Ford v Ferrari doesn't make the cut because I'm not at all interested in racing or cars. Frozen II, I'm sure I'll see at some point, but not in theaters. The Good Liar, I'm waiting on reviews.

6. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood — I was never the biggest fan of Mr. Rogers, but this seems like something we could all use right now.

5. 21 Bridges — Something about this film, whether it's the Russos and/or Boseman just makes me think it's worth a watch.

4. Knives Out — Big cast. Could be fun.

3. Doctor Sleep — I'm not even a big Shining fan like with the MCU or something, but this has me very intrigued.

2. The Irishman — It's Scorsese and with that cast. C'mon. Goodfellas is awesome.

1. Terminator: Dark Fate — This is going to be disgusting, but of course I'm going to see it. T2 is my favorite movie of all time. It's going to crap all over that, but I have to at least try to give it a chance.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Francis Ford Coppola Calls Marvel Movies "Despicable"

Martin Scorsese recently said the MCU doesn't qualify as cinema. Funny, it's a motion picture in the cinema, isn't it? Now, Coppola doubles down and says they're despicable and that you can't take anything away from them.

And here is where you insert your "old man yells at cloud" image. Jeez. Talk about someone who is too old to keep himself from getting swept up into what his previous generation did to him and just doesn't get it. That's what is happening—these two are from a different era and don't get it.

Many superhero films are garbage, just like comedies, action flicks, romance films, dramas, etc. Any movie can be great or terrible. Remember Godfather III?

Robert Zemeckis Will Helm Live-Action Pinocchio Film

No thanks.

Final Trailer for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Great visuals. The others had those, too. Based on my disappointment of the previous films, I have zero faith I'll love this and it will undo all the problems.

Vice President Rhodes

Apparently one of the dropped ideas from Avengers: Endgame was that Rhodey would have become the Vice President in the five year gap. To be honest, I love that idea and I wish they would have gone with it. Maybe, if they have this War Machine Disney+ show on the bubble, they could explore that.

Welcome to another edition of Predicting the Plot wherein I try my best to guess how an upcoming movie is going to play out from start to finish with as many details as I can possibly give, based entirely on the previews and lead-up material I've seen.

I might be dead wrong. I may get some things right. In any way, I encourage you to give your predictions just the same in the comments below.

For this edition, I'll be tackling one of the many sequels to my favorite movie of all time (Terminator 2: Judgment Day), which is the upcoming Terminator: Dark Fate.

Oh boy...you're not going to like this one, and neither am I...

The movie starts with either the typical recap of the Skynet future or we jump right into T2.

A terminator (Carl) kills John Connor. Mabye they show that he was a senator like in the other ending (the GOOD ending of this franchise). Maybe he's a junkie loser like in Rise of the Machines. More likely, though, knowing that there's a little kid in this film for reference, it'll probably be the young John from right after T2.

The point is, they're totally going to kill off John because this entire movie is going to be about beating you over the head with this concept of female empowerment and a "changing of the guard" like The Force Awakens / The Last Jedi where everything is a copycat of what it was before, but this time, they make the original character that was the savior a waste of space because they want to bring in a new character as the real savior.

Sarah spends the rest of her life not knowing what to do. John's dead. No Judgment Day. She has no purpose, other than hunting down terminators. Maybe Carl is the one that killed John and he has no purpose, either, and they see eye to eye like that. It'll be stupid, but this movie is going to be stupid, so I'm not counting anything out.

We're introduced to Dani Ramos. She's either a spitfire and TOTES TOUGH and can handle herself and has no real progression throughout the film because they're too afraid of making her appear weak, or she's a carbon copy of the Sarah Connor treatment in that she's the one at first who is screaming and needs protection until she bucks up.

She has a brother. Who cares?

She's attacked by Gabriel Luna's character. Surprise, he's a terminator. What the fuck is a terminator? Well, to explain that, here's the new modified cyborg woman Grace to explain the new future and how things have changed.

They "only postponed" Judgment Day, like before, and changed the details. Now, it's not Skynet, it's something else. With John dead, Dani is the new savior. Skynet 2.0 is SO MUCH WORSE YOU GUYS because they tell us it is.

Note: This is when everyone should realize that they just want to reskin the previous thing and say that their idea is even better, exactly like Star Wars has.

What is fundamentally the difference between John and the new protagonist? She's new, younger and a Latina woman. What's different between Skynet 2.0 and Skynet? Nothing, just like how The First Order is 100% the Empire. What's the difference between Grace and Arnold's T2 terminator? At its core, nothing, because both are just "robot thing that protects the hero". But Grace is a woman, so there's a sisterhood going on with her, Dani and Sarah. I wouldn't even be surprised if they say something about how in the future, they don't need men. At least they do have one difference in that one is an enhanced human and the other is an android, but that alone is like saying we should make a whole movie around remaking Terminator 3 and keep all the details the same except this time, Kate Brewster can be a human doctor instead of a vet. WHOLE DIFFERENT MOVIE GUYS, SERIOUSLY...

Anyway, back on track.

So they fight and fight and fight. Arnold's terminator sacrifices himself I guess, or Sarah does. Or both. Probably Arnold, because that way, they don't kill off one of the female characters and they can keep Sarah for another film if they're able to do another one. It's easier to kill Arnold because they can always have another and bring him back if they want, but they've killed Sarah multiple times before, too, and whatever. She's the one that makes the most sense as far as having it hit the audience harder, so let's predict that she's bites the bullet.

They kill the Gabriel Luna.

Ominous thing about how the future isn't certain but with the new savior of humanity now all tough and determined, she'll be ready to fight.

MAYBE if they want to backtrack on this, they tease something about John Connor still possibly being alive so that they can have a sequel where he's taking on Sarah's spot as the guide to help them out and possibly die. That's if they didn't do something blatant like have Carl take a shotgun and blow his head off.

Terminator theme plays in the credits, if we're lucky. Maybe not anywhere else in the movie.

Everyone watching goes "ugh...well, it wasn't as bad as that Genisys title or T3, but it still sucks compared to T1 and T2" and we continue the cycle of bad Terminator films and I die a little more inside, and if you complain about it, you're clearly only hating it because you obviously hate women—not that you could ever be opposed to the idea of taking a movie and going against its whole purpose to copy and paste it purely for the sake of unoriginality and trying to appeal to "woke culture" stuff and mask your negative reviews with a shield of #feminism.

There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. It's a shame this franchise was perfect and chose to take a dark fate of bad sequels to ruin it and make the ratio more bad films than good ones.

I'll say it right now: if this movie is nothing but a thinly-veiled excuse to say "the future is female" and literally serves no purpose but to replace John Connor with Dani Ramos because she happens to be Latina, I don't think I'll even bother doing a Reviewpoint.

Welcome to the latest edition of Making the Grade—a review format segment here on Fanboys Anonymous where we break down the major components of something and give it a score based on the standard report card lineup: A, B, C, D, and F for a total failure.

The next report card is for Zombieland: Double Tap—the sequel to the 2009 zombie comedy that I surprisingly enjoyed quite a bit, despite not being a fan of the zombie genre.

Zombieland: Double Tap
Directed by Ruben Fleischer
Written by Dave Callaham, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick

STARRING: Woody Harrelson (Tallahassee), Jesse Eisenberg (Columbus), Emma Stone (Wichita), Abigail Breslin (Little Rock), Zoey Deutch (Madison), Avan Jogia (Berkeley), Luke Wilson (Albuquerque), Thomas Middleditch (Flagstaff) and Rosario Dawson (Nevada)

STORY: B+

Simple and effective. Let's progress the relationship between Columbus and Wichita, give Little Rock the position of the child Tallahassee lost in a way, and advance the zombies to a more threatening level while still poking fun at how some of them are Homers.

CHARACTERS: A

The four lead characters from the last time are all the same, which is exactly what I (and I'm sure most people) were hoping to see. They didn't deviate from the formula that worked before, which allowed this movie to be a true sequel and not something different.

HUUUUGE fan of Zoey Deutch's Madison. She was such a pleasant surprise for this movie and a great extra character to throw into the group to test their reactions. It was also fun to see her kind of replace Little Rock, as she's the worst part of both movies, and putting her on the sidelines to make room for Madison was a big step in the right direction.

I also loved Flagstaff and Albuquerque as the doppelganger versions of Tallahassee and Columbus. That was a true highlight part of the movie.

TONE / ATMOSPHERE: A

ACTION: Rock solid. The zombie killing scenes were over the top, frenetic and fun.

COMEDY: My girlfriend and I seemed to be the only ones to really seem to get all the jokes in our theater, for whatever reason. I laughed. She laughed. Lots of other people seemed to just sit there. Thumbs up in my book.

ROMANCE: There isn't really "romance" per say, but the love interest aspects of the movie are what they're supposed to be for this type of film.


ACTING: B+

Zoey Deutch kills it. She's the best of the bunch. Everyone else reports and does their job perfectly well for what is fitting. Nobody will get an Oscar nomination, but that's totally okay.

VISUALS (FX, MAKEUP, COSTUMES, SETS): B+

The zombies look realistic and there's a consistent look throughout both movies. All the scenery seems justifiably beaten down. Everyone's grungy enough (minus Madison, which is the point). Solid.

AUDIO (MUSIC / SOUND): Satisfactory

I don't really know how to grade this, as for some reason, I'm drawing a blank on any specifics. I know Elvis was a part of the film with the plot and all, but I'm not a fan of Elvis, although that's not necessary or should weigh into the whole grade. Since I don't remember anything bad nor anything great, I'll just say that this was a satisfactory thing, without an actual grade to tie it down into something more specific.


MARKETING / TRAILERS / POLITICS / SERIES DIRECTION / ETC:

+ Nice choice in naming the film Double Tap.
+ LOVED how Flagstaff had commandments instead of rules. That whole bit was one of my favorite parts of the film.
+ Big fan of how they didn't kill anybody off. Had they done that, I think it would have been a mistake. Who knows if they'll make a third one of these or not, but at least now they have the option.


GRADE: B+ (Pass)

Exactly what I was hoping for. If you're a fan of the first film, you're going to enjoy this one, too. In an era where lots of sequels can be massively disappointing and go in the direct opposite of what they should be, it's nice to see someone wait 10 years and actually deliver.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Zoe Kravitz Cast as Catwoman

They wanted her. They got her. She wouldn't have been my first choice out of everyone in Hollywood, but hey, she might be able to pull it off.

Naomie Harris Cast as Shriek for Venom 2

Supposedly, Shriek is going to be another villain in Venom 2, played by Naomie Harris. That makes sense. She was part of the Maximum Carnage deal and they could use her as someone that he tracks down at the start of the film while Carnage break out or something like that. Harris will play the part well, too. Thumbs up.

Kevin Feige is Chief Creative Officer of ALL of Marvel

WOW. Credit where it's due, as this guy knows what he's doing. Good on Marvel for letting him take control over every little aspect. I hope this doesn't overwhelm him and take him out of commission for paying attention to the littler details by being bogged down on smaller projects that build up, but I trust he'll do a great job.

Inhumans Being Recast?

Vin Diesel as Black Bolt and Aaron Taylor-Johnson returning, but not as Quicksilver, as Maximus. Hm. Very interesting. Ignoring the television show is the right move, for sure. But I don't know if Johnson for Maximus would be the best thing, as people can still associate him with Quicksilver. Plus, why wouldn't WandaVision include a reference to him?

No More Jonah Hill for Batman / Seth Rogen for Penguin? / Paul Dano Cast as Riddler

Apparently, Hill is no longer in negotiation to play Penguin or Riddler, but Seth Rogen might be looked at for Penguin. I still think this is a bad idea. Having people who are on the more comedic side makes me think they aren't taking that character seriously enough. I also just don't picture Rogen as Penguin.

But now, they've reported that Paul Dano will be Riddler. THIS is good. I think he'll do a great job.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Rumor: Disney Offers $4-5 billion for Spider-Man Rights

Take it, Sony. Just take it. Your movie ideas are garbage and there's no way you'll be able to survive screwing things up. Your reputation will be TRASHED if you take Tom Holland and Spider-Man away from the MCU just to put out your crappy Sinister Six film you've been wanting to do. It's not going to work. With these rumors that Apple may buy Sony, now is the time to sell, too. If that happens, the rights revert back to Disney anyway, for free. Sell now while you can get billions of dollars outright for it and a lot of good faith from the public that you can then bargain for more money from Apple.

Barack Panther Deep Fake

Check this out. Very well done.


I feel like deep fake stuff is equally super dangerous for fraud purposes as well as incredibly awesome to do things that we'd never have seen before. This wouldn't have been at the top of my list, haha, but it's still very cool. Now someone needs to get on something like Clint Eastwood as Batman and Tom Cruise as Superman and Jake Gyllenhaal as Spider-Man.

How is Titans Season 2 SO Much Better Than Season 1?

I've been sleeping on mentioning this, but goddamn, season 2 of Titans is a VASTLY superior show to the first season. It's like night and day. Conner, the most recent episode, was great. The one before that was even better. It's like they finally decided to be a Titans show instead of some weird offshoot horror thing.

Betty Ross May Return to She-Hulk TV Series

Liv Tyler could be returning as Betty Ross on the She-Hulk show, which is just awesome. I thought she was a great choice for the role and did well in The Incredible Hulk, and since that's still in continuity, they should have been referencing it here and there. Now that Natasha is gone and Bruce has come to terms with Hulk, they really should revisit the idea of him getting back together with Betty for good. He deserves to be happy.

As requested through our Patreon "Pick Your Poison" tier by Guest Five, Fanboys Anonymous is providing you with another edition of the FanTracks podcast, this time for the classic animated spin-off film Batman: Mask of the Phantasm from Batman: The Animated Series.

For copyright reasons, we cannot provide the movie itself, but after a short introduction, you will be told when to sync your copy of the film so you can following along with us and listen to our thoughts on the movie as we crack some jokes, expose plot holes, and discuss anything else that comes to our minds for commentary.

Make sure to subscribe/follow on whatever platform you're listening, leave your comments on the videos or this post, share this with your friends and geek out with us!

The latest in the line of animated DC direct-to-video films is Wonder Woman: Bloodlines. Is it worth the watch, or should it be skipped?

Welcome to the latest edition of Making the Grade—a review format segment here on Fanboys Anonymous where we break down the major components of something and give it a score based on the standard report card lineup: A, B, C, D, and F for a total failure.

Wonder Woman: Bloodlines
Directed by Justin Copeland and Sam Liu
Written by William Moulton Marston (Wonder Woman created by) and Mairghread Scott (screenplay)

STARRING: Rosario Dawson (Diana Prince / Wonder Woman), Jeffrey Donovan (Steve Trevor), Marie Avgeropoulos (Vanessa Kapatelis / Silver Swan), Adrienne C. Moore (Etta Candy), Kimberly Brooks (Cheetah, Giganta), Courtenay Taylor (Doctor Poison), Constance Zimmer (Veronica Cale), Nia Vardalos (Julia Kapatelis), Cree Summer (Hippolyta), Ray Chase (Lead Bandit), Mozhan Marnò (Doctor Cyber) and Michael Dorn (Ferdinand the Minotaur)

STORY: C–

This started out great, but quickly turned into something I couldn't get invested in. Trying to track the journey of Vanessa Kapatelis as a side character for such a generic plot that has nothing to sink your teeth into just wasn't enough for me.

CHARACTERS: C

Diana was great. No complaints there at all.

Steve Trevor was good, but maybe a little bit too jokey.

Etta completely stole the show, although there were times where I felt as though they went over the top with making her the one with all the great beats.

Cheetah, Giganta...do-nothing. Ferdinand felt like an odd inclusion just for the sake of it.

Doctor Poison and Doctor Cyber were awful. They were more like G.I. Joe villains from the cartoon series and way too over the top.

I was never familiar with Silver Swan and I guess her arc was okay, albeit contrived and forced to an eye-rolling level.

TONE / ATMOSPHERE: B–

ACTION: Solid action. The best part about this.

COMEDY: Etta and Steve had some lines. This isn't supposed to be a comedy, so that was good enough.

ROMANCE: For the most part, Diana and Steve are only a couple because they're a couple. There isn't much chemistry to build on, beyond just knowing the source material.


ACTING: C

All of these things can be earnest or over the top. For Rosario Dawson, for instance, she was great. For the whole Doctor Poison character, it was too campy for my tastes.

VISUALS (FX, MAKEUP, COSTUMES, SETS): A

For an animated film like this, it's pretty much the art style. Every movie in this DC universe from the past few years that follows the same continuity is all pretty much perfect as far as character designs go, so I'm a big fan of that presentation.

AUDIO (MUSIC / SOUND): C+

Nothing memorable, but no complaints.

• I loved Diana's steadfast heroism in the opening. All too often, she has to take a backseat to Superman in Justice League material and by default, must be somewhat of an antagonist who is rough around the edges compared to his boy scout attitude. Here, she's 100% full-force hero. Very good.
• It took 18 minutes to get to the credits? Points deducted.
• I think there's something to this version of Etta, where she's more capable and has more agency. I do think they went over the top in some regards, though, so if they toned that down a bit, I think it would be a pretty fantastic new iteration of a character I've never had much fondness for.

GRADE: C (Pass)

This film was fine, but I'm never going to watch it again, nor would I recommend it as anything close to something like Batman: Hush or some of the better ones. It needed more meat on its bones and a better overall story.