Fanboys Anonymous

What up Fanboys and girls Chris "The Dace Man" Dace back yet again....eventually you'll get tired of me (he said, knowing that it couldn't possibly be true). As you all may know, two nights ago Stephen Colbert had his third annual ColbChella. Unfortunate for Mr. Colbert, though, the headline band (Daft Punk) that he had booked a month in advance pulled out prior to the event. Stephen would take to the airwaves Tuesday night, explaining the situation to his audience and faithful viewers who were expecting the appearance of Daft Punk. Colbert immediately spun this unfortunate event into a comedy hit...

Obviously, with such short notice, the show had to be completely rewritten and presented to an audience who was expecting a concert event like previous years. Colbert would go on to joke about how Hyundai had poured lots-o-money into the show for that evening's planned events and each time would make a witty comment about how he was screwed....presented by Hyundai.


This would then lead to Colbert exclaiming that he didn't need Daft Punk to have ColbChella to be a hit. This lead into what is being deemed as pure comedy gold and a boat load of celebrity cameos as Stephen dances of set to the Daft Punk hit. He would later return to the "Hyundai Execs" walking off in disapproval. Stephen came back after to commercial to make a wish that some Pop Icon would be able to sing on his show. Enter Robin Thicke and a performance of his hit "Blurred Lines". The show needless to say was a huge success despite the huge obstacle that was put in Colbert's way. Don't believe me take a look at the seven minutes that was pure awesomeness and better than any Daft Punk performance could have been.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Video Archive

As always, check back regularly to see what Chris "The Dace Man" Dace is looking at (and no, not just porn) as well as all other bloggers here at Fanboys Anonymous. So for The Few, The Proud, and of course The Dacetacular, grab a beer—or in this case....your Robin Thicke CD—and check out what's going on here in the Dace-Sphere. See ya next time!

Yesterday, 7 August 2013, my life was irrevocably changed. I opened up Steam to check the daily sale and was instead greeted by a huge splash image of The International DOTA2 Championships. It's a game I've only heard of, having skimmed vague DOTA 2 v. League of Legends internet slapfights. I don't even know if DOTA is an acronym. "Watch it live," it beckoned. So I did.

Immediately I was dropped into a mildly-artifacted, color-heavy firefight. What shocked me more, however, was the two-man broadcast team. DOTA 2 had a call guy and color guy, as if this were any other televised sporting event. And they were speaking in intense volleys of complete fucking gibberish.

As I struggled to find purchase in the muddy layers of jargon, I gathered this was a match between teams dignitas and Rsnake, and someone on one of the teams was named way2sexy. I started to try to differentiate game terms from usernames. I spent a good five minutes trying to figure out what kind of strategy "snaking" was, drinking in the delightful rainbows of carnage. It turned out I was wasting my time, that there was a user named sneyking. As the first game wrapped, I imagined this is how grandpas feel when they try to use Internet Explorer to check the electronic mail. I resolved to not let DOTA2 beat me.

The next matchup was mouz v. LDG.int (my first DOTA 2 lesson: don't create your team name using real damn words). This was my first chance to see a match from beginning to end. Before the action could begin, teams were 'drafted' via an alternating pattern of choosing 'hero' characters and banning them—a tense game of keep-away that required knowing your opponents' strengths and predilections. It's something I'd like to see in professional football. Just imagine it: "Shots fired, Joe. The Buffalo Bills have banned Tom Brady, and the Patriots have banned CJ Spiller." Once the draft completed, each of the players on the 5-man team claimed a character, and the match began. I ended up staying up past midnight, catching four games, and I think I've got DOTA 2 pegged.

I know exactly what I'm looking at. Kind of.

Here's how I think the game works:

The square playing field is the same every time. Two teams: good guys who get the pretty forests, and 'The Dire,' who get the ugly half. I imagine the good guys want to raze Uglyville to increase the real estate value of their own neighborhood, and The Dire just want a nicer place to live. Each team has a 'base' in opposing corners. The ultimate goal is destroy the other team's base.

There are three 'lanes' through which there is egress to the other team's base, but each team has three 'tiers' of sentry towers guarding the lanes on their half of the map. In this way, DOTA 2 is a game of calculated stalemates and mutually-assured destruction. The five characters on each team sort of claim responsibility for the lanes, which are called 'top,' 'mid,' and 'bot,' respectively, and it is their job to make sure their towers stand, while 'pushing' toward the opponents' towers with their sights set on the base.

If you look closely, you can see Meepo pushing mid.

Except it usually shakes out that one player just sort of does their own thing, killing a bunch of random monsters sprinkled throughout the arena. See, because DOTA 2 is actually also an exercise in accelerated grinding. Each new game begins with characters at level 1. Monsters give gold and EXP, and heroes level up and are granted skills accordingly. There's even a big-ass monster named Roshan who basically grants the equivalent of a Civ 5 Golden Age. I think gold purchases items, which I guess grant stats? And something called a 'buyback' can also be purchased, which I think cancels out respawn time.

So 5 characters, three lanes, nine towers, grinding. Except each team also spews seemingly infinite waves of 'creeps' down each lane, which as far as I can tell just serve as cannon fodder for the other team. They're easily brought down by heroes. So there's that.

Early game seems to be devoted to farm, be it creeps or mobs, scouting through the fog of war, and mildly harassing the guy across from you in the lane via spitballs and spanks on the ass with the broad side of your sword. Except for that one character that just plays PvE all alone in some remote corner. Also you can cut down trees, so that happens. Heroes level and tension builds until a hero makes a mistake – gets caught out too far in enemy territory, gets lazy, is terrible, etc. – and is brutally murdered by another hero. This is called 'first blood,' and holy shit do crowds and announcers love first blood.

Lifestealer draws First Sap

I think heroes give more EXP and gold than mobs, so that's cool, but remember that each lane is only protected by its hero and whatever cannon fodder creeps happen to have spawned. So the hero that manages to draw first blood also gets first run at the opponent's Tier 1 tower. Any lost towers equal lost defense, weakening the border between the two teams.

A few minutes after first blood, there are usually enough heroes with significant levels that the pyrotechnics show can begin. This is also where my comprehension stops. So there are runes which do things like invisibility and double damage. Gems do things. There are also smokescreens. Some heroes have legit Zelda hookshots. Also everyone can teleport if they want I guess. The announcers call it 'TP,' which might just be short for teleport, or might mean we're in Diablo and it's a Town Portal? Anyway. Once everyone can teleport and throw down ninja smokescreens and turn fucking invisible, DOTA 2 stops being a game of stalemates and starts becoming a game of taking potshots at people who are being dumb, trying to snag stray kills for profit and map real estate. Except this is called 'ganking' and I'm legitimately shocked that word hasn't died yet.

If a gank (kill me) backfires, if it's repelled by backup, you can sometimes get two or three or five heroes duking it out in a skirmish, and that's really when the crowds flip out and the announcers pee their pants. The screen melts into an impressionist painting of pixel shaders as everyone pops their skills and suddenly giant glowing buzzsaws and fat ice bridges and huge AoE red death circles and this cool thing called 'tethering' happens where a hero is either pulled from danger by a pal, or pulled back into the fray to have mean and bad things done to them at close range. I fucking love tethering.

Anyway. Gang war. The first casualty on either side usually dictates who will win, as that's one less target, one less source of damage. Retreats are preferred over actually dying, as it denies your opponents the gold boon and the ability to run on your towers. If a team loses a pair of heroes, it's bad times. But I got to see 3, I got to see 4, I got to see a full team of 5 wipe out. Then it's sad times. You know how during the Civil War, the Union would burn down everything in their wake? That pretty much happens when you have 5 uncontested heroes in their opponents' territory after a team wipe.

We sell gank and ganking accessories.

At this point there's usually a clear leader. The team with the most EPIC GANKS usually have destroyed the most towers, usually have better gold and EXP production, usually have nicer items (I hear a lot about shadow blades and 'BKBs' I think—no idea what they are or do), and can usually exert the most pressure. Will usually win any team fights.

One of two things happens next: either the leading team steamrolls their way into the enemy base, raping and pillaging until the white flags wave in the form of "gg" in the chat (which I can only assume isn't 'good game' but is in fact 'gankgank' because GANK), or— remember that dude who was fucking around in PvE for like 45 solid minutes while his teammates floundered, dropped all their towers and were reduced to teary puddles? Yeah, that guy is like level 1 million, has all his crazy skills, is topped out with items, and is a new incarnation of God. I guess this is called a 'carry.'

You know how in every sports movie, the crappy team takes down the better team at the last minute thanks to the power of friendship and teamwork, but mostly their improbable ringer? Yeah just picture that with particle effects.

And that's DOTA 2. I think.

Probably.

Feel free to light the comments section of fire with my infinite inaccuracies.

Regardless, it's way better than baseball.

Hey there Fanboys! Bet you never expected two Gaga articles within 24 hours of each other. Well here comes another one. Lady Gaga has managed to leave the masses speechless with a Not Safe For Work video of her yelling the letter A and being full-blown nude.

I was going to write an opinion article based on this, but the fact is I'm speechless. Well played, Gaga. Well played.

Remember when you click play below to watch with caution and a very open mind, cause if not, I'm sure you will question your existence on this planet like I have. Gaga is set to release her "ArtPop" album in November and her single Applause on August 19th.

You can also check out The Abramovic Method by clicking here.

As always, check back regularly to see what Chris "The Dace Man" Dace is looking at (and no not just porn) as well as all other bloggers here at Fanboys Anonymous. So for The Few, The Proud, and of course The Dacetacular, grab a beer—or in this case...you know what, I've got nothing this time—just check out what's going on here in the Dace-Sphere. See ya next time!

My title of this blog says it all really. It's about time I get to watch MY Falling Skies the Falling Skies that I knew and loved from season one and two.

As many of my readers know, I have hated this season up to the point where I didn't want to watch anymore, but these last two episodes have made up for the lackluster ones beforehand and thankfully, I am now looking forward to season four.

In this post, I will be writing about why those two episodes have changed my mind.

We see Tom finally arrive back to Charleston on a sailboat just for Pope to greet him, which was a funny moment cause Pope says something along the lines of "Hey Mason, you still owe me a plane", to which Tom replies "you can have the boat". I really liked the chemistry between these two this season.

So Lourdes the mole blows up Charleston and I can't remember why, cause I am still buzzing from the last episode of the series, but I will get back to that. Anyway, we finally get to see some panic and destruction, which this season has been lacking for me. This season has been all about patience to see what the Volm are building and trying to find Anne Glass. We also see a heartfelt moment between Hal (Drew Roy) and Maggie (Sarah Carter) when they are trapped under rubble and struggling for air. Drew carried this scene and I can see a bright future ahead for this actor. At the end of this episode, Tom discovers that Lourdes is the mole and all I could say was ABOUT FREAKING TIME.


In the last episode, after having finally dug the Volm weapon out of the rubble that it was buried under, the 2nd Mass plans its attack. While Weaver leads a diversion team to the Chicago tower with Pope and his crew (by the way, did I mention I like Pope a lot?), Tom attacks the true target which turned out to be the Boston tower after the long stupid build up which was episode 8 where Karen abdicated him but anyhow back to the attack with the Volm cannon-type weapon. He manages to successfully destroy the tower, shutting down the defence grid. With the defence grid down, the Volm reinforcements finally arrive in a massive city ship looking thing. When they destroyed the tower, what was going through my mind at the time was "I don't think that was a great idea". As the ship lands, it destroys what seems to be the rest of Boston and it is revealed that the Volm army are being led by none other than Cochise's father (the Volm member that has been helping Tom).

Tom and Weaver then discover that the Volm intend to keep the humans out of the war by shipping them off to camps in Brazil what is this World War 2 where people go to concentration camps. Tom is taken into custody by the aliens (for the fourth time I think, since the aliens have been on Earth) and Weaver is forced to surrender with 2nd Mass to the Volm. However, Tom manages to convince the Volm to let the humans go.


The 2nd Mass heads back to Charleston and along the way, an alien ship lands near them. Karen claims that they cannot trust the Volm and offers a truce to Tom, but he responds by shooting her. While Hal is treating Karen, Maggie finishes the job, killing her. I thought this was a bit unnecessary, but I understand why she did it. Tom then hears Anne calling his name and finds out that both she and Alexis are still alive, but in the past two months, Alexis has grown to around the age of a six year old. Later on, Alexis puts her hands on Lourdes's face and somehow destroys the eye worms that were infecting her to the surprise of Tom and Capitan Weaver .

What I believe will happen in season 4 is that we will see a return of Karen as some sort of clone or cyborg possibly, since they never showed or mentioned burying her. I think Weaver is going to die due to a heart attack because of them teasing heart problems. Tom and Pope will still be at logger heads. Hal and Maggie will eventually break up, because Hal can't forgive Maggie for killing Karen, then get back together cause Maggie gets kidnapped. The Volm will be just as bad if not worse than the other aliens and Alexis will hold the key to stopping this war...or she turns out to be evil and will be in her 20s.


If you agree or disagree with my comments about Falling Skies let me know in the comments below or you can put an eye bug in to the Twitter @shaughnessy2k37

What up Dacetacular Fanboy Anonymous Nation?!? Chris "The Dace Man" Dace back in the Dace-sphere and dropping a review on your nerdy asses. As some of you may or may not know John Oliver has recently assumed the hosting duties of The Daily Show on Comedy Central. Jon Stewart has taken a hiatus from the show after nearly 15 years of being the mainstay and Emmy machine that he is. Jon Oliver will host the hit fake news show for eight out of the twelve week hiatus Stewart has been on.

Now, this of course leads to a lot of speculation about the future of The Daily Show. With Stewart itching to get behind the camera and back on the big screen, are we seeing the end of an era for Comedy Central?

Both Oliver and Stewart keep down playing the possibilities of Stewart leaving The Daily Show permanently. Oliver has even joked with guest stating "The last time a British man said he was staying for a little bit that didn't go over very well." So even though the speculation can keep going back and forth on which John will be running the show after the filming of Rosewater is completed, how is John Oliver doing at the helm of Comedy Central's juggernaut? Many reports have been pouring in that John Oliver has been on par with John Stewart ratings. Considering the monumental task that was ahead of Oliver it is amazing to see he's rolling with the big dogs.

Being British and a different comedy style of Jon Stewart he was essentially a polar opposite of the typical Daily Show vibe. Not to mention the core demographic of the show happens to be the most critical when it comes to change in their favorite product. Don't believe me? Go and read most of the articles here on Fanboys Anonymous, we are The Daily Show demographic. So in this bloggers opinion, John Oliver has been phenomenal and if it were time for Jon Stewart, my primary source of news to step down and pursue other areas....I would be content with the crowning of Fake News King on Comedy central. He has quick wit and recovers on the fly when mistakes or odd ball scenarios occur. Plus he has good chemistry with all guests that have appeared thus far on the show. John Oliver has the charismatic drive to be the lead guy. Granted Colbert obviously would chomp at the bit for that sweet 11PM EST time slot but I think these 8 weeks is a test if Oliver can stand on his own and not get the Team CoCo treatment...and folks....from what I have witness thus far....Oliver's got the stuff. So Fanboys and girls sound off! Tell me and the rest of us what you think of Oliver's hosting capabilities.


As always check back regularly to see what Chris "The Dace Man" Dace is looking at, and no not just porn, as well as all other bloggers here at Fanboys Anonymous. So for The Few, The Proud, and of course The Dacetacular, grab a beer, or in this case your moment of Zen, and check out what's going on here in the Dace-Sphere. See ya next time!

Check out episode 7 of The Dace Man Show with regulars Mike Paden and Brian Gibson! Also very Special Guest CHRIS GRANT!!

Join The Dace Man this week as he tackles:

Weird World News

• Troy Walker had a blown perfect game when the racking mechanism triggered blocking his ball. In his do over shot he finished the game with a 297. 
• An Australian woman caught up in a scam ended up paying $1,200 for two pieces of fruit when she was under the impression she was purchasing two iPhone
• Sharknado....Did it really happen?

Sports News

• 12 MLB players were suspended due to the Bio Genesis Scandal. A-Rod was the 13th name but he has appealed the 211 game suspension. Will this keep A-Rod out of the HoF if convicted?
• The Dallas Cowboys went head to head with the Miami Dolphis in pre-season action Sunday winning 24-20 
• Cooper returned to practice with the Philadelphia Eagles after the concert incident.

Celeb News This Week:

• Amanda Bynes is getting back on the right track with a cocktail of medications to treat what appears to be schizophrenia.
• Lindsay Lohan is apparently on the right track as well banning alcohol from all places she goes.
• Simon Cowell has been all over Celeb news this past week for having an affair with his friends wife who is now having Cowell’s child.
• The documents that Lady Gaga was trying to suppress were successfully hidden from the public
• Terrance Howard was accused of beating his ex wife.

Also the fan favorites of the High Five Reality Shows and the Douchebag of the Week

Step into the Crazy Train with Chris "The Dace Man" Dace this week on The Dace Man show....queue the Final Countdown!!!

Check out The Dace Man Show live every Wednesday at 8pm EST on Mega Powers Radio. As well as all archived episodes!

Hey there faithful Dacitonians, Chris The Dace Man Dace back bringing you what's going on in Pop culture news! And hot off the presses is Lady Gaga's new single that was posted on YouTube today. The eccentric Mother Monster release, what one can only speculate as, the continuation of the Telephone story. Now with this latest release critics are alreay slamming the beautiful Gaga saying it's her worst song yet. Come one guys not every song can be the worst song yet....remember your reaction to Born This Way...not every song is going to be Poker Face... This song begins slow with her referencing the end scene of Telephone and stating she offed her bff Beyonce with subtle hints, then proceeds to explain she will be living life under a Burqa. In my opinion the song is good...not lighting the world on fire but still good. The concept that draws me to Lady Gaga is she is a story teller and with her music and video she gets her vision out there....some times it's a disturbed vision that would give Tim Burton a run for his money when it comes to Whoa.
Gaga is the true definition of an artist a woman who expresses herself on her medium of Music and Film. For those of you who don't know Lady Gaga is going to take a stab at acting in the film Machete Kills. Yours truly will be going to see it and have a review on it in coming months. I digress though, The point of this article is to share with you my Fanboys and Dacitonians, Mother Monster's latest work of art. One thing I dislike about the new song is the distortion of her voice. Hopefully this is only the rough cut and it will be cleaned up prior to release cause she has a beautiful voice and I don't want to hear a robotic Lady Gaga. I for one will be buying the ArtPop Album when it hits the shelves because I have been itching for some new Gaga. So check out the song bellow and sound off bellow.

As always check back regularly to see what Chris "The Dace Man" Dace is looking at, and no not just porn, as well as all other bloggers here at Fanboys Anonymous. So for The Few, The Proud, and of course The Dacetacular, grab a beer, or in this case a Burqa, and check out what's going on here in the Dace-Sphere. See ya next time!

In the NYC/NJ area this weekend? There is no reason why you shouldn't be doing this:

The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses with the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra Saturday, August 10. Celebrate the 25th anniversary of this high-action video game at NJPAC with a multimedia experience with full orchestra, chorus & cinematic video. A costume contest, with prizes, will be held on stage before the performance. Click here for details: http://bit.ly/13glUAi #Zelda #gamer #Nintendo #NJPAC

Yes, hashtags included.

Today's entry and I have an interesting past, specifically its predecessor, the original Dino Crisis. I got that game as a gift, and really had no intention of playing it. to be frank: I was terrified by games like that. For those of you who don't remember this lost gem, here's a brief summary: It's Resident Evil with Dinosaurs. Need More? Okay, Dino Crisis was a survival horror game released in 1999 about a science experiment gone horribly wrong, bringing about a time portal that transported Dinosaurs to the modern time. you played Regina, a member of a Spec Ops group send into a fictional island to curb the situation and rescue the man responsible for the mess. the game holds a special place in my heart as it was the first game classified as a "survival horror" that I ever played. Since then I have loved the genre. I moved onto franchises like Silent Hill and Resident Evil and the rest is history. so when the sequel came out a year later, I asked for it for Christmas that year. i was so excited to revisit the universe and see how the game has improved.

And, I hated it..........

Keep in mind, I was expecting a tense, moody, and slow paced survival horror title like the original. The sequel is nothing like that for the most part. so i remember shelving the game and never coming back. A couple years later (literally years) I saw the game mixed within my collection of PS1 titles that I rarely was playing by then, and not remembering why I hated this game, decided to try it out. Having finished the game, I regret ever hating this game in the first pace. Dino Crisis 2 is a fun action title. It evolves the gameplay in a completely new direction that works.

To better understand the change the game went through, the best way to describe it is comparing it to something like Ridley Scott's Alien to James Cameron's Aliens. Where the first one was a moody, tense horror show, the second one is a balls-out action title. Such is the case with Dino Crisis 2. You start the game with two characters: A returning Regina, and a new Spec ops member named Dylan. Dylan is a meat head, brimming with the kind of earnest machismo that comes off a doofy. Lets put it this way: if Dylan were real, he'd be Channing Tatum. Similar to the first title, Regina and Dylan are sent in to investigate another incident similar to the first game. Except the twist is that the incident didn't bring dinosaurs to our time, it transported an entire facility and the neighboring town back in time. This time they too are sent back in time to survey the area for info and rescue any survivors. the game begins with your team being attacked by a giant T-Rex, splitting Regina and Dylan from the main team and having to go off on the mission by themselves, together (trust me, it makes more sense than how I worded it).

From there we get into the new meat of the game. Where the first game took place in tight indoor corridors and was about exploring the area and solving puzzles, this game is an arcade run and gun shooter, like a third person version of the old Jurassic Park light-gun games from the arcade. You start off as Dylan, but periodically switch to Regina depending on where you are in the plot. Your path is split into several sections linking whatever your point A is to whatever your point B is (usually to unlock a door, find a key, etc). Your mission is to run straight through, gunning down every raptor (or is some cases, those ink-spitting dinosaurs from Jurassic Park) you come across in order to rack up Extinction Points that you use to buy medical equipment, weapon upgrades, ammo, etc. You gain points by killing dinosaurs in succession, racking up higher and higher combo multipliers. Along the way, you can unlock different weapons like flamethrowers, machine guns, sonic weapons, etc. And thats the thrust of the game. Along the way, you also get to man a turret gun to fight off vicious long-necks, you get to pilot a tank to fight a T-Rex, and you get to swim in a personal submarine suit to fight dinosaur crocs (sadly this is not as fun as the later, but it is technically different). Other than that, its running down open corridors blowing everything up in your path.

Now, this may seem boring on paper, but the game does alot in its way to make it more fun. First off, the controls do their best to make the experience easy. Yes, you still have the standard survival horror tank-style controls, but you also have a quick 180 degree turn button, as well as auto-targetting and a target cycle button. You even have the option to enable a side-step feature, but its mapped awkwardly to the triangle button instead of on the shoulder buttons (in which one of them is the map button, which would have fit better on the triangle button, but I digress). you also have a nifty secondary attack (which amounts to a machete for Dylan or a stun baton for Regina). both of these weapons not only add another level of attack and counter attack, but can also be used to unlock certain doors. What also adds to the ease is the level design, which thankfully is not too intricate as to make the controls feel worse. Most of the paths are straight lines, with the occasional mini corner for variety. It never felt like I was fighting with the controls. Yes, the camera is still static in the game, but honestly, where i could see my younger self getting frustrated at things constantly jumping out at me, I think it adds to the adrenaline. Another aspect that might have bothered me back then was the constantly random spawning enemies that would pop up ever time you transferred from one camera angle to another (a mechanic that does in fact loop if you have to traverse the same path multiple times) but in this case, its alright because not only do your guns have a generous amount of ammo before they need replenishing, but the more enemies you encounter, the more points you can add up. All of these choices would ruin a normal game, but combined here, it works to make the game that more exciting.

Graphically, the game also has some nice touches. Because most of the game is played outside of in open areas, most of the architecture is matte painted like the old Resident Evil games. And to be honest, its really good looking, having tons of jungle details that really distract from what is essentially a glorified hallway. Character models are nice too, but nothing mind-blowing. If there's one hitch I can mention, its that the in-game cut-scenes have an odd motion blur effect. Its not bad, but noticeable. Sound design is a mixture of Jungle ambiance and fast-paced orchestral music when you're in an enemy-filled area. My only downside to the gameplay is that it does suffer a bit from fatigue. there's very few puzzles, and not much variety in the enemies. Plus the game is short. Really you can beat it in a day if you are committed enough. But to be fair, this is the kind of game that you can just jump in and out, and once you beat it, jump in again. You even unlock new modes after you beat it, like a survival mode, and a dino-fighting mini-game reminiscent of Primal Rage.

So what do we have? We've got a sequel to a Resident Evil knock off (ironic since they both were made by Capcom) that plays like a love letter to arcade games of the era. At the end of the day, you're killing hoards of dinosaurs with only a shotgun and a machete. If that doesn't scream bad-ass, I don't know what is. If you're looking for a game with a deep story or branching gameplay, then this game is not for you. Then again I don't think you read that last sentence: "killing hoards of dinosaurs with only a shotgun and machete".

'Nuff Said


Grade: C

Welcome to the first edition of WEEK IN GEEK, a new segment where we break down the news and events that happened over the course of the past seven days that weren't already made into a full-fledged article for one reason or another.

This is a work in progress, so if you have any suggestions as far as formatting, content to cover, or anything else, feel free to send us some feedback on our contact form.

MOVIES

Pre-production for Star Wars: Episode VII starts next month under the title Foodles Productions Ltd.

My take: Foodles? Thank God that isn't the title of the movie itself.

Chloe Grace Moretz expressed interest in being in Star Wars: Episode VII, stating "I'd kill to be a part of that franchise, but I don't know. J.J., I'll give you my phone number. You can text me."

My take: I don't want the protagonist to be a female like rumored. I'd prefer it to be Luke's son Ben Skywalker. But if there's a role for Moretz to play in it, I'd love for her to be a part of it. She's perhaps the best young actress out there right now.

On the other hand, Karl Urban does NOT want to be in Star Wars, as he doesn't want any crossover confusion since he is a part of Star Trek.

My take: Smart man. I like him more for this.

Ophelia Lovibond confirmed that she has a role in Guardians of the Galaxy

My take: I have no clue who this actress is and what little I know about the Guardians of the Galaxy series has only hurt my anticipation for the film. Whomever she ends up playing will probably be someone that I have no interest in or perhaps I'm not even familiar with at all, as the majority of the characters announced so far are people that I only vaguely know of through cursory situations.

Sebastian Stan says that if you freeze frame the scene where Captain America rescues Bucky in the first film, there are clues about Winter Soldier's return.

My take: No shit, dude. Anyone who knows anything about Winter Soldier saw this coming a mile away. But hey, for the people that didn't, there you go.

Bryan Singer is filming Quicksilver's scenes 150x slower than normal, at 3600 frames per second for X-Men: Days of Future Past.

My take: WOW. That sounds awesome and I can't wait to see it.

Batman vs. Superman may actually be called World's Finest or Public Enemies

My take: Personally, I'm hoping for it to be called "Superman/Batman: World's Finest".

Batman could be played by an older actor, with rumors suggesting Gerard Butler, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Josh Brolin as possible choices

My take: You have no idea how much I'm hoping this turns out to be false and we get a younger Batman. I want someone like Tyler Hoechlin, not someone who is old enough to play Superman's father. How is an older Batman going to work for a new series when the two have always been around the same age in the comics? Stupid, stupid idea if they do this, no matter who plays the part. Just because you liked The Dark Knight Returns doesn't mean you should adapt it for a reboot. You don't see Marvel using Old Man Logan instead of Days of Future Past, right?

Harrison Ford is in Expendables 3, but not Bruce Willis. Sylvester Stallone also tweeted "GREEDY AND LAZY ...... A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE"

My take: What happened to Bruce Willis to turn him into such a dick lately? His reputation is going downhill.

Harrison Ford expressed interest in returning as Indiana Jones in a 5th entry to the series.

My take: You'll hate me for saying this, but I don't think the last one was that bad, and I'd be interested in seeing another.

Gore Verbinski, Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp are blaming critics for why The Lone Ranger bombed, saying they were too harsh and attacked it from the start. "If you're not as smart as Plato, you're stupid".

My take: How about blaming yourselves for making such a horrible movie, not the critics for pointing out that it sucks? Critics have panned other movies in the past that have gone on to make money. Your film looked bad to most people and they weren't interested in it, and the ones that did see it, like myself, hated it.

VIDEO GAMES

Zatanna is the next DLC character for Injustice: Gods Among Us, following Martian Manhunter's recent release.

My take: Zatanna makes sense. She's one of the most popular female characters. I'm incredibly surprised they haven't gone with Supergirl, since DC is freaking obsessed with that character and trying to cram it down everyone's throats.

TELEVISION

David Conrad (Ghost Whisperer, CSI: Miami) will have a recurring role on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., playing a "brilliant and quirky scientist", most likely

My take: This show has a lot of potential, but I also can see it being something where it's like Firefly and I hate it but lots of other fanboys love it.

Pirates are coming to Arrow's island flashbacks on season 2 of the CW series.

My take: Cool, I guess? I'll have to see where this is going. I would rather you put Tommy back on the show, though.

Peter Capaldi is the new Doctor Who and supposedly, there was a chance that this incarnation would have been played by a black actor, though no names have been confirmed as possibilities.

My take: I'm not a Doctor Who fan, but from what I've seen and heard from reactions, people seem to like this.

COMIC BOOKS
COSPLAY
TECHNOLOGY
HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES
CYBERCULTURE
COLLECTIBLES
TABLETOP GAMES
THE ARTS

Watch out for this segment each and every Wednesday. We'll see you next week!

There will be a new set of Lego blocks dedicated to The Simpsons coming in 2014 and for some reason, this has caused some controversy.

Apparently, there's a number of people up in arms, claiming that The Simpsons aren't age-appropriate toys for children. One person even said The Simpsons aren't appropriate for any age.

To put it simple....what the fuck?!?

This just immediately reminded me of the whole George Bush "we need less families like The Simpsons" nonsense. At one point in time, they were considered too vulgar by some people because of the era of time and how some people just can't accept that the whole world doesn't have the same Ned Flanders mindset that they do. Remember, you used to not even be able to show a married couple sleeping in the same bed together on television.

I'm one of the biggest Simpsons fanatics out of everyone I've spoken to in my life and I cannot think of a single joke that has not been beyond the realm of what their time slot and rating calls for. It's not like we're talking about South Park (another show I love), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, or any other MA-rated show. This is the freaking SIMPSONS. I don't think Bart saying that his Blocko shirt is itchy is exactly offensive...do you?

Ow, my freakin' ears!!

On a related note, how have we not had a Simpsons set of Lego blocks yet? They've been used for merchandise on literally everything in the world. They've even parodied their merchandise on their show, multiple times...as well as parodying Lego itself with the Blocko knockoff mentioned above.

and showcased here

The Simpsons are too much for kids to handle, but THE JOKER was okay to use a Lego character? Have you see what that fucker does in the stories? He, along with nearly every single other Batman villain, is a serial killing sociopath. Star Wars has been tied to Lego before and people get limbs chopped off, stabbed, DECAPITATED...and that's ok, too, apparently. But The Simpsons?

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children??!!?

This kind of stuff is absolutely ridiculous and I can't help but laugh at the people that are so overly sensitive and butthurt over this. Good luck trying to smother your kids and shield them from the real world for now. Once they get the slightest bit of independence as teenagers, they're going to rebel from their sheltered lives. If you're lucky, you'll end up with a kid that watches the Simpsons instead of becoming a drug/booze addicted whore in college or worse.

Fanboys Anonymous: building to a better tomorrow.

Now seriously, shut up and go rewatch the first 12 brilliant seasons of The Simpsons....you can ignore everything else that came after that.

Hey guys, I am back and this time I am going to be talking about the TV show Suits that airs on the USA network in America and on Dave here in the UK. As many readers here know, I have a big issue when a good TV series hits its third season. I don't know why. Maybe the magic of a series has dispersed. The problems could be from bad plot points, bad writing, introducing awful new characters (cough...Walking Dead...Falling Skies...cough).

But first, let's give you a quick backstory, just in case you missed the first and second seasons. Suits is a TV show about a law firm called Pearson Hardman  and the drama that goes on within the establishment. There are two main characters: Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams) and Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht)

Mike Ross is a college dropout. With his amazing intelligence and photographic memory, he makes a living taking exams for others. To make extra money that he needs to keep his grandmother in a private nursing home, Mike agrees to deliver a case of marijuana for his best friend Trevor. When Mike goes to deliver the package, he discovers that the drug delivery is a sting operation and bails, ending up sitting for an interview with Harvey. Harvey is impressed with Mike's quick wit and knowledge of law, so he hires him.


Harvey Reginald Specter is a senior partner who graduated 5th in his Harvard Law School class and is New York City's best closer. He is promoted to senior partner in the pilot episode and serves as Mike's seemingly selfish and uncaring mentor who you see slowly care for his people that works under him. He is formerly an Assistant District Attorney in the Manhattan DA's office and is also my favourite character in the entire series.


Season 3 starts off with Harvey and Mike being at logger heads due to the fact Mike went behind his back at the end of season 2 even though Mike was being blackmailed by Jessica Pearson. Mike confides in Rachel, who now knows his secret, and the two form a relationship. It's about time, too (cheeky smile). I was waiting for this to happen since season one when they were teasing it.

Anywho, in episode 3, Harvey forgives Mike and tells him he wants to get his name on the door and attack Jessica. I think this a such a good idea, cause if I could choose anyone to go out of the show it's Jessica. However, the show needs her bossy sneaky character to keep Harvey on his toes, so I think this will blow up in his face. In a nutshell, season 3 is just as good if not better than the previous one and it proves that when something is done right, it's done right, but nothing ever beats the first season of a show.


This is also going to be like my Falling Skies series, where after every 3 episodes I will write a review on how the story progression is coming along, what I would like to see changed and where I think the shows direction is going. If it's anything like the last three episodes, the direction it's going is definitely up.

If you agree or disagree with my comments about Suits, let me know in the comments below or you can follow me on Twitter and take me to court over it @shaughnessy2k37

Yesterday, I went to go see Despicable Me 2 with my little sister and I thought this would be a good write up for this site. Overall, I really enjoyed the movie and if I had to compare it to another animated blockbuster that came out this year in terms of enjoyment, it would have to be Monsters University. However, that is not what this post is about. Today, I will be comparing the two main themes of Despicable Me 1 and Despicable Me 2 (which from here on out will be referred to as DM1 and DM2). After I talk about the two, I will write a conclusion that will let you know which theme I enjoyed more.

I am going to start this off with a look at DM1 and its theme: family. Gru, the main character and the tall bald guy in the picture above, lives alone and is a super villain. He adopts 3 orphans (Margo, Edith and Agnes) with the idea that he will use the girls to help break into another villain's home in order to steal a shrink ray. He had no plans to keep the girls after this and was planning on sending back, but after a day at an amusement park his views on the little girls began to change and began to treat them like his own kids. Eventually they accept each other as family after Gru saves them from death and as the movie ends it shows Gru telling the kids a bedtime story that he made that had all of them in it. Sounds like a perfect family right? WRONG! What's a family without a mother?

Gru with Margo, Edith, and Agnes

This is where the second movies theme comes in, as DM2's theme just so happens to be love.... awwwww. Most of the second film is about Gru and love as he deals with a neighbor who is constantly trying to hook him up with her friends, an agent who he begins to feel affectionate about, and dealing with Margo and her new boyfriend, Antonio. You find out about why he is never a man of love as in the movie they go back to when he was a child and was pretty much rejected as friends and anything else by his colleagues in elementary school as he failed miserably at asking a girl out. He does eventually end getting married and saving the day by the end of the film.

So which theme did a better job telling a story? these two themes are constantly used in animated films, so these two films did nothing ground breaking in that regard. If I were to choose one, it would have to be DM1's family theme. Now that's not saying there is anything wrong with DM2's theme, but I believe DM1's theme was there throughout the movie and was always an issue from the moment he adopted the girls. In DM2 the love theme wasn't there at times, which is why it lost at the end, but it played as big of a role at the end of the films as family did at the end of DM1. With that being said both of these films deserve to be seen if you haven't done so yet. You can find DM1 on Blu-Ray and DVD, where DM2 is still in theatres. Until next time, so long fanboys.

Hey Hey Hey Who-vians. Chris "The Dace Man" Dace coming to you with the hot off the press announcement! On 1 June 2013, the BBC announced that Smith, after four years and being the 11th Doctor, would be leaving Doctor Who at the end of the 2013 Christmas special. This of course has left the Dr. Who's most dedicated fans speculating who would in fact be the 12th doctor. Well the time has come and the moment you all have been waiting for is here. The Twelfth Doctor is......



That's right Who-Vians what do you think of the new Doctor? Will Peter Capaldi live up to the expectations? Leave your comments bellow and tell us what you think!

As always check back regularly to see what Chris "The Dace Man" Dace is looking at, and no not just porn, as well as all other bloggers here at Fanboys Anonymous. So for The Few, The Proud, and of course The Dacetacular, grab a beer, or in this case your Sonic Screwdriver, and check out what's going on here in the Dace-Sphere. See ya next time!

Episode 36 of the I Got Gameplay podcast is now online. On this episode Michael Burhan, Shaun Walker, Travis Goss, Nikki Mills, Samantha Jennings, Miguel Leon, and Jeff Croop discuss Animal Crossing and what makes the game so appealing.

You can check out the episode by clicking on the following links:

Lybsin: http://adf.ly/IwSX3

iTunes: http://adf.ly/IwSaK

Stitcher: http://adf.ly/IwSd0

Blog Talk Radio: http://adf.ly/TOdlH

If you'd like to join the discussion, like us on Facebook and comment on our page here: http://adf.ly/IwSfZ

You can also subscribe to the podcast's YouTube channel at http://adf.ly/IwShu

Here is a video I have made to show you all my video game collection. I have been a gamer ever since I was a toddler and I could tell you lots of stories of my experiences growing up. However, that will come in the future. In the meantime, what you see is the main bulk of my collection. There are a few things I have missed here, but I will show you more soon.

I want to consider this to be a start for a vlog series where I can talk about one particular video game or game series and give you my memories about the games. If anybody out there wants to come up with a title, then it would be greatly appreciated.

I am very happy to be a part of Fanboys Anonymous and it has been a blast so far. I hope you all enjoy the video!

A little while ago, I wrote a piece about a few things that we've learned from gaming over the years. Shortly after I published that article which cited things such as basic morality and perseverance as staples in the video game world, I faced them head on while pursuing a platinum trophy on the PlayStation 3 version of The Amazing Spider-Man. The experience was significant enough for me to write this very article for your consumption.

Coincidentally enough, comic books have for a long time incorporated basic morality into their story lines. Spider-Man especially, considering the center of the his existence is based on the saying "with great power comes great responsibility". This saying reflects the very essence of the character and has stuck with many readers throughout their lives. I myself have always identified with the character of Spider-Man and even more so with the man behind the mask, Peter Parker. Peter's modest east coast upbringing mirrored my own and when coupled with the fact that I grew up on a street called Parker Avenue, it was almost impossible for me to avoid connecting with the character on many levels.


When I purchased The Amazing Spider-Man I had little to no expectations about the quality of the game itself. I had seen the newest film version (which I thoroughly enjoyed) and I was ready to play another game featuring my favorite super powered vigilante. I burned through the story mode insanely fast on the hardest difficulty, and needless to say the game wasn't the most riveting or challenging experience. Sure I died a few times along the way, but that was more due to trial and error than anything else.


But this is not a review of The Amazing Spider-Man. What I'm here to discuss is that despite the fact that this game is mediocre at best, I now have a platinum trophy on it. I spent about 20 hours doing everything you possibly could do in that game and I did not enjoy myself through the last hours of it. Why did I subject myself to this torture? Because of my love for the character and what he represents? Because web-slinging through a full scale Manhattan is exhilarating?

The answer is that for me this game was art imitating life.


As previously stated I've always identified with the character of Spider-Man. When I beat the story mode of The Amazing Spider-Man something in my brain told me that I needed to see this one through all the way to the end. I needed to trudge through copious amounts of repetitive and mundane tasks and get myself that platinum trophy. It was time consuming, painstaking and down right boring at times. At 1:30 A.M. I completed my task and went to sleep.

The next morning I went to work.

I trudged through copious amounts of repetitive and mundane tasks. It was time consuming, painstaking and down right boring at times. It always is, yet I still do it. I go to work not because I want to, but because the end result is that I can continue to live in here in San Francisco, play music and one day reach my goal of making a living through my art.


Although The Amazing Spider-Man can not take the credit of introducing me to the concept of focus and determination, it definitely serves as a reminder that plugging away at something can produce a desired outcome. Never give up on your dreams, kids!

What do you guys think? Can games reinforce productive and positive attitudes? Leave a comment and check back for more at www.fanboysanonymous.com

BJ Hollars, the man who brought you Monsters: A Collection of Literary Sightings, has a debut monster all his own. Branded as a subversion of the traditional Midwest coming-of-age-story, Sightings invokes Bigfoot, clowns, time travel, robots and those secret hand vaginas you make by linking two perpendicular pairs of hands together and looking inside— all to more authentically speak to the human condition. Across ten short stories, Hollars captures the essence of awkward adolescence, the changing landscapes of parental relationships, the urges, the odors, the odd new hairs, without ever leaving the reader feeling like he is treading tired and well-established literary ground— though he absolutely, unashamedly is.

In a way, Sightings is a reinvigoration, an evangelization of the coming-of-age-story. The titular story of Bigfoot joining a high school basketball team and attending prom is at its simplest a story of the new kid’s struggle to fit in. "Westward Expansion" and "Dixie Land" both find sons who grew up idolizing their fathers suddenly face-to-face with old, delusional men, hopelessly wrapped in history. Conversely, "Line of Scrimmage" features a son facing the distinct lack of a father, who tries to replace him with the uproariously hilarious Coach Housen.

Hollars has a way with a casual joke, a funny scene, as well as a well-timed punch to the gut. His scatterbrained Roger in "Schooners" is a wealth of quotables. There’s even slapstick in "The Clowns". Yet, in "Indian Villiage" and "Loose Lips Sink Ships," Hollars tempers the humor, allowing us to see the destructive reality of sex when it collides with teenage fantasy.

For how strong Sightings is, it closes weakly. "The Clowns" becomes predictable quick, and excuses itself quickly, seemingly aware of it’s own staleness. "Robotics" begins to chart new ground for the collection, exploring a strong motherly presence, but we don’t get to inhabit the story nearly long enough. Finally, "Missing Mary" is buried at the very back. It doesn’t have that single, developed single protagonist, that edge of fantasy, nor does it feel like a coming-of-age-tale in the way the other nine do. I know ten is a nice, round number, but I can’t help thinking that Sightings would have been best with only nine stories.

Still, I can’t help but heartily recommend Sightings. If you like humor, punchy, efficient prose, and a little magic in your realism, Hollars is addressing these stories to you.

And, if you have a book you'd like to recommend I cover, do so in the comments below.

CineFix is back with another edition of 8-Bit Cinema, this time retelling the story of the film Kick-Ass in their latest YouTube video, which is just as good if not better than the one for G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

So good.

If you're into Kick-Ass, make sure you check out my upcoming review of Kick-Ass 2 coming as soon as possible after I check the movie out on the midnight screening of it's premiere on August 16th!

Check out episode 5 of The Dace Man Show with special guests Michael Burhan, Mike Paden, Dan Raup and Brian Gibson!

Join The Dace Man this week as he tackles:

Weird World News

• Detroit Bankrupt…approves renovations for the Red Wings Arena
• Pakistani Game Show offers babies to Europeans as Prize
• Disabled Man claims Delta Airlines forced him to crawl onto a plain.
• Vacationing American in Greece kills and cooks a rare sea creature.

Sports News

• During a Seattle Mariners v Minnesota Twins game a fan made it rain $6000 in 1s all for a promotion of a 5k run during the 7th Inning
• David Ortiz of the Boston Red Sox goes nuts in the dugout after an Umpire Call. Next day goes 4 for 4 and mocks beating up a phone.
• Jonathan Papelbon bad mouths Phils Organization
• Tim Hudson from The Atlanta Braves is out with a broken foot.

Celeb News This Week:

• Zimmerman makes news again pulled over for speeding and packing heat….
• A top contender on "Master Chef" had a bizarre, violent encounter with cops in Chicago, telling them Gordon Ramsay is an "asshole" who possessed his body and then transformed him into God
• Randy Travis is out of the hospital today.
• Carlton Banks is back on TV with a spelling bee game show thing
• Confirmed : a new Rocky movie spinoff called Creed

The Off the Wall topic of the week:When should a movie franchise be laid to rest?

Also the fan favorites of the High Five Movie Franchises and the Douchebag of the Week

Step into the Crazy Train with Chris "The Dace Man" Dace this week on The Dace Man show....queue the Final Countdown!!!

Check out The Dace Man Show live every Wednesday at 8pm EST on Mega Powers Radio. As well as all archived episodes!