Fanboys Anonymous

I've been a fan of the James Bond film franchise since I was around 10 years old. I got into it the way many people did from that age bracket—through GoldenEye—which was exposed to me by friends of mine who had played GoldenEye 007 for Nintendo 64 and wanted to know what that game was all about.

In fact, I distinctly remember a friend of mine talking in class one day about how he had seen Tomorrow Never Dies and that it was the coolest thing ever, and I had no idea what he was talking about, at first. Fast-forward a few months later, I'm in a group of friends (coincidentally, not including that one) who are so Bond-obsessed that we're trying to find the Parker Jotter pens and assigning ourselves 00 numbers as if we're some secret club.

I've had over 20 years to think about the franchise, grow up in the Pierce Brosnan era, remember what it was like to find out that Daniel Craig was cast and absolutely hate that he was blonde (so much so that I sent an email saying I'd spend the $10 on a bottle of hair dye if they were that cheap) and so on. I was excited for Marc Forster to direct Quantum of Solace, which was a title I wanted them to use forever, and I was so bummed when that became one of my least favorite films. So on and so forth.

With all this in mind, I've always wondered what would be my "perfect" James Bond film. If I could take elements from each movie and mix and match, what would I end up with? Would I take George Lazenby and put him against Gustav Graves with Stacy Sutton as the main Bond girl? You'd bet your ass I wouldn't!

In order to get to this endgame, we need the 7 essential parts of what makes up a 007 film: the Bond, the Tone, the Villains, the Allies, the Gadgets, the Action and the Title.

001. The Bond

Everyone has their favorite Bond, for whatever reason. Most tend to go with Sean Connery as the standard-bearer or Daniel Craig because he's the new guy and that's what they're most familiar with. A lot of it depends on your age, as I know people in their 50s who swear Roger Moore was the best.

I think they all bring something to the table, for the most part, and if we're merging things, we need to pick and choose certain traits from each one.

When it comes to physique, it's clearly Craig. He's the most muscular of the bunch and that makes him more believable to endure so much punishment and pull off as many stunts.

I enjoy his brutality, in a lot of ways, but I think that should be mixed a bit with Connery and Timothy Dalton—easily the most underrated Bond of all time, if not my overall favorite.

My perfect James Bond is a killer, for sure, but he's not crashing into walls like a "blunt instrument" like Craig. He can scrap with someone like Red Grant and has no issue doing something like lighting Franz Sanchez on fire, but he's not doing parkour. Maybe mix in a little Brosnan strictly from GoldenEye.

As far as the face goes, you have to go with Brosnan. For that matter, he's got the charm, too. I know some people think Brosnan is "too pretty" for the role, but I think that actually helps, in a way. Bond should be attractive enough that you can understand at a moment's notice why every woman falls for him and why he's so damn cocky. I don't get that impression with Moore, for instance.

My perfect Bond is suave, smooth, and can charm the pants off anyone without being creepy about it or too misogynistic. Yes, that used to be the way to go, but it doesn't age well, and toning it down a bit is better. I don't at all want my Bond to smack a woman around and forcefully kiss her like Connery used to do. I want a Bond who can get Dr. Molly Warmflash to medically clear him for field action through sex. I bet you didn't expect a Warmflash reference to be pulled out here, eh?

Still, Bond should be a dick. He's an asshole. He's a jerk. He says some things that are just rude, he's stubborn and his ego is a big part of his flaws. I like my Bond to take someone's car keys and mess it up like Craig does in Casino Royale, or for him to yell "Switch the bloody machine off!!" like Dalton in License to Kill.

All of them have had those moments. Moore knocks the guy off the roof and tells Andrea Anders that if Francisco Scaramanga used one of his bullets on her, it would be a shame, because the bullets are expensive! Goddamn! Elektra tells Bond that he wouldn't kill her because he'd miss her, he shoots her and Brosnan says "I never miss."

But he should still care. He's still a good person. Connery mostly seems to just shrug things off too much for my liking to be a perfect Bond amalgam. I do love Moore snapping back "That's enough" when Anya Amasova brings up Tracy, or when Dalton is heartbroken at catching Della's garter.

Last, but not least, is the humor. Bond shouldn't be goofy, but he should be witty. The best at this was probably Moore, although he did go too far into the extreme at times. Think more puns and clver wordplay than acting silly.

For example, Connery saying "positively shocking" after electrocuting guy is great, or handing Fiona Volpe just her slippers to wear is brilliant. Brosnan telling Xenia he "shoots in and out" is good. Craig didn't have enough of these, but he had a great moment in Casino Royale when he tried to pass off Vesper's cover identity as "Miss Stephanie Broadchest" for instance.

It's all about balance. Give me an action star who is tall dark and handsome, charming, a jerk with a heart of gold and can quip when he kills someone.

002. The Tone

All Bond films are similar to each other, yet each one of them is different. In some ways, if you showed someone a Roger Moore film and a Daniel Craig film, without context, they'd think it was a different series altogether.

A lot of that has to do with the Bond himself, but even within each actor's run, there are deviations. GoldenEye is gritty, while Die Another Day has Bond fighting people named Mr. Kill and bad CGI surfing on icebergs. From Russia with Love is a rather serious spy film, while Diamonds are Forever is goofy as hell and damn near a parody of the franchise.

The movie has to be funny at points, but not at all campy. I don't want Bond doing things that are too fantastical, yet I don't want it to be nothing but dry and dour for the entire time without a hint of levity.

GoldenEye is my favorite of the films in part because of its balance, so you're going to see a lot of references to that here and elsewhere. I think it's got enough grit and seriousness, but with enough things to smile about and not feel too tense and depressing like Skyfall, even though I love how earnest that one is, in some ways.

Some of the Connery films are boring. I can't sit through Dr. No, for instance. Yet, somehow, that's also laughable. Why does it start with the Three Blind Mice shtick? It's all over the place and not all that interesting to watch.

Die Another Day was too over the top, even though it was off to a great start. Once Bond shaves, it goes wacky.

The Man with the Golden Gun is a film that I think could have been infinitely better if it had a different tone. The plot itself of a top-notch assassin wanting to kill Bond is great. When you throw in Nick Nack, as much as I love the guy, it's too silly, especially when paired with J.W. Pepper and the slide whistle for the car sequence.

Likewise, one of my other absolute favorites, License to Kill, is great for a deviation, but I don't think that hyper-revenge story is the way to go for a "perfect" Bond film blueprint.

The movie should take itself seriously. There should be humor, but never laughing at the movie, just with the movie. It's not supposed to be a Fast and Furious action flick, nor should it be Schindler's List.

003. The Villains and Plot

There are a couple tropes for Bond villains, to varying extremes. Sometimes, they want to destroy the planet. Sometimes, they just want to steal a device.

Like with any balance, I want a mixture of villains and for none of it to be boring, nor silly. Don't give me the Blofeld clones in Diamonds are Forever, which is wacky. Don't try to tie the villain into a figure skater subplot like For Your Eyes Only, which is one of my least favorites. For that matter, I love The Living Daylights (one of my favorites) but I still don't know what the hell Koskov's plan is. Diamonds, drugs, weapons, defections, pigs, borscht, cake...there must be another way!

Here's another great example: the beginning of Die Another Day with the hovercrafts floating over the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea is AMAZING and could have been the big plot of the film. However, having Colonel Moon do gene therapy to become Gustav Graves, create an Iron Man suit, smuggle diamonds and create a laser satellite weapon...stop throwing out tons of ideas that don't work together!

GoldenEye (surprise surprise) has perhaps my favorite balance of everything. It doesn't have everything I'm looking for in a villain plot, but it does check off a lot of the boxes by having Trevelyan, Xenia, Ourumov and Boris.

So here's my proposal of a breakdown of villains for a perfect Bond film:

Villain 1 = The Puppetmaster
- This person is manipulating people behind the scenes and acts as an evil M.
- You know who this is. It's Ernst Stavro Blofeld. He and S.P.E.C.T.R.E. are working with a #2 because they want something in return for offering their brilliance and resources.
- Blofeld needs to survive the film.

Villain 2 = The Warmonger / Warlord
- Ideally, this is a military general who is seeking power. They stand to gain something out of the evil plot, like becoming the ruler of their nation through a coupe or they're already in charge and want to invade another country. This person has his separatist brigade of followers who are goons that Bond can shoot at throughout the film. Ourumov is a great representation of this.
- If not that, they're a businessman like Hai Fat or Elliot Carver. The whole idea of this character is that they're the ones driving the plot forward from a face value level and they can be the "big bad" who dies.
- This is the bankroller in some situations if you don't have a Puppetmaster.

Villain 3 = The Evil Parallel
- A reflection of Bond. They know what he knows, so they can outsmart him or outmatch him in skills.
- This can be a former 00 agent like Silva or Trevelyan, an assassin like Scaramanga, a spy from another organization like Red Grant or some other variant like that.
- You may be able to merge this with the Warlord if you're trying to trim characters. The way to tweak that is that instead of a legit military guy, you make him a separatist random lunatic who has amassed a personal army by overthrowing someone or usurping some crappy little nation or whatever.

Villain 4 = The Femme Fatale
- The seductress who can get to Bond through one of his main weaknesses—the bedroom.
- Fiona Volpe and Xenia are great examples. Elektra King is another great one, but I think she's also a bit of the Warlord (Side note: I actually love her character and the Stockholm Syndrome angle of TWINE so much).
- Bond absolutely must have sex with her, and when she dies, he absolutely must say some kind of pun.

Villain 5 = The Heavy Henchman
- The physical threat. He is big, ideally has some kind of distinguishing feature (deformity, disfigurement or gimmick) and can nearly kill Bond with his fists.
- Jaws and Oddjob are templates for this.

Villain 6 = The Weasel / Tech Guy
- Someone who can be a pushover, but represents an intelligent side of the plan.
- Boris. Henry Gupta.

What is the overall goal and plot of the film, given these characters?

A very baseline idea would be that they've stolen some kind of weaponry and plan on using that to instigate a war they can profit from. In fact, keeping in mind that I'm repeating plot elements from movies we've seen already, I'll go full ham on this and toss this idea out there:

A rogue state that has seen a steady rise in power has stolen nuclear weaponry and assassinated several key figures of various nations. It's unknown what their connection is or what the plan is. Bond is sent to investigate based on the only evidence they have, which is some kind of diamonds smuggling operation used to fund these transactions, maybe. Diamonds are important to Bond films.

The terrorist leader of this separatist group is known by the codename Risico, who is the primary antagonist. He is a former 00 agent who was tasked to overthrow a dictator and create a military uprising in another country on behalf of MI6. However, he did his job too well. Over the years, the job turned him evil. The more death and destruction he saw and was directly responsible for, the more he became addicted to that thrill and became disgusted in bureaucracy and humans in general. He believes he's been righting the wrongs and he should be in control.

Risico started double-dipping, doing jobs for MI6 while also doing side gigs for S.P.E.C.T.R.E., who let him run around like a kid with a molotov cocktail. He does contract kills for them in exchange for amassing more power in this rogue nation that he's secretly been trying to build from the ground up like a slash and burn crop, while S.P.E.C.T.R.E. feels like they can kill him at any moment if he gets out of hand, but he's a great tool, for now.

Under Risico's command is a military general who is a pig of a human. Think General Medrano. He's clearly someone who provides the goons and is there to be the underling who thinks he's the right-hand man, but Risico just needs someone to boss around the mooks and do the dirty work.

Risico's trusty #2 for real is his femme fatale. She's the one he'll talk plans over with. Give her some sort of sexy name, but don't make it some obvious innuendo.

Risico's bodyguard is the heavy, and there's also his tech guy who can explain to him the bombs and such.

In the end, Blofeld is backing Risico because S.P.E.C.T.R.E. wants control over the land of this rogue nation (maybe the water/oil plot from Quantum of Solace) while the military general just wants a pure ego trip of power, Risico wants to watch the world burn, the bodyguard is just there for the hits and the femme fatale's motivations I'm not sure of. Tech guy is just thereto make money and push buttons and get killed in a humiliating fashion.

None of this factors in other elements of the plot, Bond's journey through the film and so on, of course, but that's your driving force as far as the villains go,

004. The Allies

So we've talked about the villains at length. Let's talk about the allies who will accompany Bond throughout this mission. These are actually a bit easier to decipher, as I'm just copying and pasting a lot of already great characters.

Ally 1 = M
- Judi Dench.
- She represents the motherly role in the film and is his stern boss who ultimately trusts him, even if she has to deride his decisions and chew him out here and there. They respect each other.
- Perhaps you even include the Defense Minister or someone breathing down M's back to explain why she's so harsh on Bond.

Ally 2 = Q
- Desmond Llewelyn mixed with Ben Whishaw
- The quartermaster who provides Bond with all his gadgets. He's on the meek side, will not be expected to do any action. He can literally just pop up in one scene to explain the gadgets and be there for levity.
- Bond respects him, but goofs off with him. Q finds 007 infuriating, but he likes him.

Ally 3 = Moneypenny
- I prefer Samantha Bond mixed with Lois Maxwell more so than Eve Moneypenny being some former field agent.
- I honestly don't think it's demeaning for there to be a female character who is a secretary of sorts. M could use a subordinate administrative assistant who has a flirtatious relationship with Bond to offset the motherly and stern woman in charge. They are in direct opposition of each other, which makes it fun.
- She doesn't go on the mission, just like Q doesn't. She helps with exposition and relaying information to Bond while flirting.

Ally 4 = Bill Tanner
- Someone for M to interact with and talk down to.
- Charles Robinson was awesome, but too cool for that spot. For that matter, I think Colin Salmon could've been a great 008. He was just too handsome and seemingly capable in his own right to be a Tanner.

Ally 5 = Felix Leiter
- Bond's buddy from the CIA.
- Merge David Hedison with Jeffrey Wright to give me the best Felix, but maybe throw in a little Jack Lord and Rik Van Nutter for flair.
- No J.W. Pepper, which was just too silly.
- No Jack Wade. I enjoyed him, but he should have been Felix (outside of the whole LTK injuries).

Ally 6 = Sacrificial 00 Agent
- Another 00 who can die at the beginning of the film.
- Cannot be 008. You need to keep that mystery that 008 is the other "good" one along with 007.
- We haven't seen 001 in a movie yet, right? Let's kill him/her off.

Ally 7 = Sacrificial Helper Buddy Ol' Pal
- Someone who can help Bond and then die.
- Think Quarrel or Sharkey.

Ally 8 = Sacrificial Bond Girl
- A tragic loss of a beautiful woman.
- Maybe she's dating the main villain and gets offed by him to show how evil he is, like Paris Carver or Solange.

Ally 9 = The Main Bond Girl
- This is the one Bond ends up with in the end.
- She should have some sort of skills, training or specialties that are valuable for the plot and allow her to serve a purpose other than being eye candy.
- Absolutely not just a damsel in distress like Stacy Sutton!
- Think Dr. Holly Goodhead, Natalya Simonova, or Dr. Christmas Jones but without the bad writing/acting.

005. The Gadgets and Cars

The Daniel Craig Era is frustratingly against this aspect of the franchise, and I don't know why. While I fully understand the idea of making things a bit grittier and realistic than an invisible car and whatnot, I feel they went too far in the opposite direction by just eradicating them entirely. It's as if they decide it's all or nothing—fantastical, or no gadgets at all.

In fact, there's that scene in Skyfall where Q specifically turns its nose up at the exploding pen in GoldenEye, as if that's one of the more laughable ones. In fact, it's one of the more serious and iconic ones! If you're going to poke fun at something, poke fun at the stupid alligator submarine!

My philosophy on the car and the gadgets is that it should be something that looks normal, but has a different function to it. For example, I like how the cell phone in Tomorrow Never Dies has the taser and the lock pick. I dig the Dentonite toothpaste in License to Kill and the grapple belt in GoldenEye.

It should also be something that helps Bond, but doesn't immediately solve all the problems in a contrived way. He shouldn't be given a catch-all plot device that would only be useful in one random situation and he just so happens to have the perfect thing to save the day. I think it's better when Bond uses it for an advantage, but still has to get out of the situation by being innovative.

As time has gone on, the gadgets are harder to do. No longer is a homing beacon anything special, for instance. It used to be impressive if he had a camera that he could carry around. Now, phones do that and more.

So on the pure gadget side of things, I think he needs four that should go with every movie: a phone, a watch, a tracking beacon of sorts and "something extra".

The phone should have some bonus stuff to it other than just a modern phone. Maybe the fingerprint scanner from TND? That or the watch should be a bomb. I like the watch laser, too. The tracking signal is just smart for MI6 to be able to know where he is.

"Something extra", aka the fourth gadget, is the highlight thing of the film. It's the one that's featured similar to the attache case in From Russia with Love or the wrist dart gun in Moonraker.

When it comes to the car, we all know it should be a silver/gray Aston Martin.

Equip it with machine guns, missiles, a license plate that can be changed (LED screen instead of a revolving one to modernize it?), an ejector seat, bulletproof glass, and so on.

006. The Set Pieces

There are three things to break down here: action sequences, random things that need to happen throughout the film and locations to visit.

Action Sequences

1. Car chase.
2. Brawl in a tight space. = the train fight in From Russia With Love, for instance. Bonus points if you have Bond do that thing where he slams someone to the left and right side of an elevator at some point in the movie, too.)
3. Compound shooting spree = Bond is either breaking out after having been captured or he's attacking the villain's lair with the intent of blowing it up after extracting someone.
4. A ticking clock scene = Bond is defusing a bomb, stopping a missile launch, etc.
5. Bond has to sneak into somewhere. Stealth portion of the movie. Ideally at the halfway mark or so while Bond is still gathering information about the villain's plot so as to not halt the pace.
6. Ski chase.
7. Water = a boat, submarine or underwater scuffle, if you have the time. 

Absolutely no Quantum of Solace editing with all the jump cuts and frenetic pacing.

Random Other Sequences

1. A casino scene where Bond converses with a villain (femme fatale, ideally) and wins the card game.
2. The movie starts with the gun barrel, leads into an opening action set piece, goes to the film's title sequence, then moves on to set up the villain's goals. Tomorrow Never Dies is a great example. 
3. Bond pretends to be someone else and uses an alias.
4. Bond sleeps with the femme fatale, seduces at least one other woman and also sleeps with the main love interest. In one of these scenes, Bond should show a preference for a certain year of Bollinger champagne.
5. Obviously, Bond has to order a martini that's shaken, not stirred.
6. Again, obviously, Bond has to introduce himself at some point in the movie as "Bond...James Bond."
7. Bond checks his hotel room for bugs, webcams and such.

Locations

1. MI6 Headquarters = This includes either M's office that Judi Dench used, or the one with the red door from the classic films, Skyfall and Spectre.
2. Casino
3. Villain lair compound (high tech, secluded)
4. Some beach location (sexy, bright, colorful)
5. Some Middle Eastern location (oppressively hot and dry)
6. Snow.
7. European nation (France? Italy? etc)
8. Russia, China, North Korea or somewhere that plays like a stereotypical bad place you wouldn't want to be. Don't want to go to Siberia and risk not coming out, for instance!

That probably covers the blueprint ideas, but something else that needs to be mentioned is that all of this stuff should try to be original from one to the next, while still hitting the tropes.

For instance, both Goldfinger and The Living Daylights have car chases, but are very different from each other. The skiing sequence from A View to a Kill is very different from On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

007. The Title and Theme Song

The Title

I've tied these together because I think they counterbalance each other. It's hard to write a main theme for a film like Thunderball, because what the hell does that mean? But I think people approach the music in a film the same way they approach the title in that they can be memorable in their own right.

There are pretty much 2 ways to title a Bond film. Option A is something flowery and poetic (The World is Not Enough, From Russia with Love, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Quantum of Solace). Option B is to go with a single word that reflects the villain or something directly referenced in the plot (Goldfinger, GoldenEye, Moonraker).

I tend to like the more poetic titles. Diamonds are Forever, A View to a Kill, etc. But it shouldn't just be variations of Tomorrow Never Dies and Die Another Day and No Time to Die. Don't make the blueprint film Death Dies a Kill and think you mean any sense.

I do love Never Send Flowers, For Special Services, High Time to Kill, By Royal Command and so on, admittedly. Zero Minus Ten is cool, too. However, if we're going with Risico as our blueprint villain name, let's go with "risk" somewhere in the title, if possible.

For my money, the way around that isn't to make this movie "Calculated Risk" or "Life and Limb" or "Risky Business". Instead, I think an ideal title they're sleeping on using is Devil May Care.

The Music

David Arnold does the score. He has a better track record than anyone and I absolutely love his recurring love theme. Massive credit to John Barry for setting the tone and for having some great things that go under the radar, like A View to a Kill, The Man with the Golden Gun and more. However, I'll pick David Arnold.

There should be a main theme, but also a secondary theme for the end credits. I love how The Living Daylights, License to Kill, GoldenEye, Tomorrow Never Dies and The World is Not Enough all have two themes. For instance, "If There Was a Man" to parallel "The Living Daylights" and "The Experience of Love" for Tina Turner's "GoldenEye".

Ideally, one of them is a love song like Nobody Does it Better or All Time High and the other is more of a Goldfinger-esque theme.

I don't dig the rock stuff like You Know My Name and Another Way to Die. Granted, I do like those songs outside of the series, but I think Skyfall is infinitely better for a Bond film.

As far as who should sing the songs? One for a man, one for a woman. If I were to go with someone brand new, as opposed to bringing back Shirley Bassey or Adele, for instance, I think Sting would be a great choice for the male, with Lana Del Ray for the female.

Conclusion

There you go! That's how I think you should take all the staple ingredients of the Bond franchise, mix them all together, sift out the bad stuff, merge some concepts and come out with the best recipe for a perfect 007 movie.

How would you make this type of film, if given a chance? What aspects would you change from my blueprint? Keep the discussion going in the comments below!

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

A Death is Coming to GOTG Vol 3

When asked on a Q&A about whether or not someone will die in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, James Gunn said "Yes."

Of course, it's guaranteed at least someone will die in the movie. There will be plenty of aliens and goons and random characters who will die. Hundreds upon thousands have died in both movies. But, naturally, people are speculating on whether or not this will be a main character, like Yondu in Vol. 2.

I don't necessarily think that will happen, but if someone from the core group does die, I think it'll be Nebula. She doesn't have too much of an arc at this point now that she and Gamora had made up and Thanos is dead...other than restoring Gamora to her true self from #2, right? Maybe she dies in a self-sacrifice to save Gamora and prove how sisterly they really did become?

DC Delayed Release Dates

The Batman is now October 1, 2021 (damn it)

The Flash is somehow moving up from July 1, 2022 to June 3, 2022. That makes no sense, especially with all the Ezra Miller stuff that happened recently.

Shazam 2 is now November 4, 2022 instead of April 1.

No Time to Die = James Bond's Head?

Cary Fukunaga toyed with the idea of having No Time to Die go back to the torture scene of Spectre and have it be that the end of that film and most of this film were all in Bond's head. I would have HATED that. Then again, I don't know what their plans are for this movie. It could be a better alternative to what we're getting.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

That's the title or the new Venom 2 film. It's pretty much perfect, considering the main villain. "Venom: Carnage" would have been weird. "Venom: Maximum Carnage" would have been a tad lazy to just bite the other title, and it would have somehow confused people who would have thought it had to be an exact retelling of that story. I dig this.

Westworld Renewed for Season 4

I still haven't caught up on season 3 yet, but I'm a huge fan of this show. To be fair, I'm more of a fan of season 1 than I am of what they gave us in season 2 and so far in 3 from what I've seen, but unless this goes too far off the rails, I'm going to see it through to the end.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Joss Whedon for Fantastic Four?

Rumor going around is that Joss Whedon may have something to do with Fantastic Four; he may possibly even helm the film.

Brad Pitt was almost Big Daddy

Apparently, the original intention for casting Big Daddy in Kick-Ass was to go with Brad Pitt, as opposed to Nicolas Cage. As much as I think Pitt is an awesome actor, I think it's actually better off with Cage. He brings a different type of feel to it that Pitt wouldn't have.

Also, people wanted to make Hit-Girl a 25-year-old??? The whole point of the character is how young she is!!!

San Diego Comic Con 2020 Cancelled

We all knew this was coming. I'm not in the slightest bit surprised. It blows, of course, even though I had no plans at all to attend. What I'd love to see is some sort of digital equivalent of it. They can do some live stream stuff, maybe.

Opening Up America Again: Phase One - Movie Theaters??

So the current game plan, which could change at any moment, of course, is to have gyms and movie theaters as part of the first phase of opening America back to public gatherings? Before schools and such? Look, I want movies back so, so much, but I don't know how you can justify that.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

PlayStation 5 DualSense Controller

I rarely talk about video games here, as I'm not a gamer and in no way someone you should listen to the opinions of. But I saw this controller for the new PS5. The design looks like it is probably comfortable and could very well be the best controller, in theory. I dig the color scheme for most things, but I'd rather have it be black instead of white, if given the choice.

If I got so lucky as to have the money and the free time to get a new console, I think it would be the PS5. Then again, I've told myself that same thing for years with the PS3, PS4 and so on, so I doubt that will come to pass. But overall, this looks pretty sweet.

Ezra Miller

Footage of Ezra Miller choking a fan and throwing her to the ground has surfaced. Yeah...not thinking that Flash movie is any closer to happening and should probably just be scrapped entirely at this point.

Laurence Fishburne = Luke Cage?

Apparently, Quentin Tarantino wanted to make a Luke Cage movie back in the day starring Laurence Fishburne. That's crazy in that it makes SO MUCH sense. One of the reasons it didn't happen was that his friends kept trying to convince him Wesley Snipes would be better for the part.

I agree with Tarantino. Fishburne would've been better than Snipes.

Nozuki

Toys for Godzilla vs. Kong have been revealed. There's Godzilla and King Kong, of course—otherwise, what would be the point? But there's also something new called Nozuki and there's "Mega Godzilla". Oddly enough, no Mechagodzilla or Mecha-Ghidorah. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that's where they were going to go, in that Kong and Godzilla would have to team up to fight M-G in the end, so I'm curious if that just hasn't leaked and it's still the plan with this Nozuki thing being the villain for the first part of the film, or if they're actually not going in that direction, which would be very, very strange.

Modern Family Series Finale

It's always bittersweet to see a series end that has gone on as long as something like Modern Family. Funny enough, I came into this show very late. I think I started watching on season 8 or something and went back and watched the whole series from episode 1 until I caught up to the "new" episodes at the time. For years, I thought the show looked stupid, but I eventually caught a few glimpses, gave it a chance, and grew to love it.

What I wanted out of this finale was for nothing "bad" to happen and for it to call attention to how it's sad to see this go. They gave me that. There wasn't any jarring disappointment like How I Met Your Mother. I didn't feel like it was an empty non-episode like some other shows. It was just a means to an end, and since this is a story about family, families don't just stop. They change over time, yes, and there are big moments here and there, but nothing that just ends the tale like if some villain needed to be slain to save the day.

As far as the material itself goes, I like where each character is going, in most ways.

Jay learning Spanish was wonderful. Joe turning more into a little Jay is great. I do think Gloria being a real estate agent was an odd choice from the start, rather than finding some other kind of passion, so I think I'd have changed that idea from the get-go and not ended in this spot with her, but I do like her having more of a purpose beyond being a housewife who somewhat feels "only good for her looks" like at the start of the show. I don't feel a ton of closure with Manny, but I assume we're supposed to think he'll toughen up a bit and get his act together without losing himself in the process.

Phil and Claire are in a good spot. That whole side of the family is pretty solid. Alex has her career and love life going in the right direction, Luke's buckling down, I loved the touch of Haley taking over Mitch and Cam's old place, etc.

Speaking of Mitchell and Cam, Lily and the new baby...them moving and doing the opposite of what Cam did is kind of poetic. I don't think that would work out in the long run, but who's to say they don't do that for a year or two and then move back or something? We can make up our own endings. Life's weird, too, and that's been a running theme of the show. There's no formula.

We didn't get a reveal of how this show has been a documentary of sorts. I thought we'd get some kind of family photo album explanation or something, but that wasn't the case. Frankly, I'm okay with that. We can make up our own ideas for that, too. In my mind, since Jay has more narration voice than anyone, it's a project he got everyone to do and bankrolled from the start.

Amazing show. It'll go down as one of my favorite start-to-finish executions, for sure.

As requested through our Patreon "Pick Your Poison" tier by Guest Five, Fanboys Anonymous is providing you with another edition of the FanTracks podcast, this time for Pokémon The Movie 2000: The Power of One.

For copyright reasons, we cannot provide the movie itself, but after a short introduction, you will be told when to sync your copy of the film so you can following along with us and listen to our thoughts on the movie as we crack some jokes, expose plot holes, and discuss anything else that comes to our minds for commentary.

Make sure to subscribe/follow on whatever platform you're listening, leave your comments on the videos or this post, share this with your friends and geek out with us!

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

MCU Films Get Delayed Releases

As expected, COVID-19 has pushed back the releases of Black Widow, Eternals, Shang-Chi and more.

I'm bummed, for sure, but I can't blame Disney for making this call. There's no telling when movie theaters will be up and running and fully functioning again, let alone how long it will take after that for the business to recalibrate itself.

This sucks. I want to be able to go to the movies and I want to see these things.

Click here for not only the updated release schedule, but also my rankings of all the films in the MCU so far.

Other Delayed Releases, Of Course

Everything. Everything is being delayed, for the most part. AMC theaters may go out of business, Shazam 2 may not start when expected, etc.

Top Gun: Maverick moves from June 24th to December 23rd.
A Quiet Place Part 2 goes from March 20th to September 4th.
Candyman moves from June 12 to September 25th.
Jungle Cruise gets moved a whole year from July 24, 2020 to July 30, 2021.
Mulan is now set for July 24th.
Artemis Fowl will go to Disney+.
Free Guy goes from July to December 11th.

Oddly enough, San Diego Comic-Con hasn't been delayed yet. It's still scheduled for July, at least for now.

I think Top Gun and A Quiet Place will benefit. Top Gun is a good "dad movie" for Christmas. A Quiet Place being closer to Halloween is good. The same goes for Candyman, which never made sense as a June summer film to me, anyway.

Oddly, I think Jungle Cruise would have been smart to set for August and take advantage of a lack of competition and people just wanting to go see something dumb and fun (assuming we can get to the movies, then).

The weirdest thing? They haven't said anything about New Mutants, which has been delayed what feels like 100 times. I still really, really think this is best suited for Hulu or Disney+ and I hope Disney makes that call.

Barbara Gordon Confirmed for Titans Season 3

Woooooo! Cinematographer Boris Mojsovski confirmed the rumors that Barbara Gordon, in wheelchair Oracle form, will be in the next season of Titans. That's awesome. I love the character and always felt that she should have been referenced in some fashion. Hopefully, they cast someone as good as some of the other people they've cast on this show so far.

Update on stuff happening here at Fanboys Anonymous

I've been swamped with WrestleMania coverage over on Smark Out Moment, so I've been unable to tap into Fanboys Anonymous as much as I've wanted to, during this pandemic. The crisis has been weighing on me in hundreds of ways, too, making my depression at a record high and energy at a record low, in a lot of ways.

However, I'm hoping that I can provide you with a lot of fun material in the coming weeks. I want to do some segments I've never had the time to do, tap into discussions I've been wanting to talk about, and write up some interesting posts and do some cool podcasts.

So stay tuned, and if you'd like to support Fanboys Anonymous and myself through my Patreon, I would be forever grateful.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Hollywood Sound Stages Possibly Converted into Hospitals

In order to deal with the COVID-19 pandemic, it seems different sound stages may be converted into makeshift hospital locations in order to treat people away from others.

This is scary, heartwarming, awesome, horrendous...everything. It's great to see so many businesses looking to find ways to help and it's shameful to see those who aren't. I'll spare you my conspiracy theory thoughts about this whole situation and just say that it's great to see situations where humans are acting like humans.

Anya Taylor-Joy for Young Furiosa

Supposedly, George Miller is working on a film revolving around Furiosa's younger days prior to Mad Max: Fury Road and Anya Taylor-Joy may play the titular character.

I'm all for a film revolving around this character if there's a good enough idea. I don't know about Joy playing the role, but I can oddly see it, too. It might give her a chance to break out and do something different that she totally kills.

- Aaaand that's it? A few people have talked about how they're excited to do movies and TV shows coming up, whenever that will be. More things are cancelled or postponed. It's a ghost town. Or maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. As always, if there are things you want me to address, drop a comment below and I'll give you my thoughts.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

VOD and the Coronavirus

A lot of films are being bumped up on their release schedules because there's no reason not to. For instance, Frozen II and Sonic the Hedgehog, Onward, Bloodshot and more are all either currently on streaming platforms or will be very soon. That is because there is no alternative. All movie theaters are closed, so there's no chance of making any money through the remaining people checking them out in-person.

But a lot of people are discussing how this will impact the future. Is this going to make people feel like they need to have films released more at home rather than in theaters? I highly, highly doubt it. If anything, people are going to miss going to the theaters even more and when we can do that again, it'll be booming.

What I do think will happen, though, is this will give some studios some information on whether or not people are interested in seeing things bumped up in their schedules in general. For example, if the new Bond film No Time to Die comes out November 25th and the regularly scheduled VOD release would be April or May, maybe it'll be bumped up to March. That would make sense to me.

Rosario Dawson Cast as Ahsoka Tano in The Mandalorian Season 2

This is pretty cool. I'm not particularly fond of how Ahsoka's character is one of these super important pieces of the puzzle that the movies can easily get away with completely ignoring, as it exposes one of the fatal flaws of how Lucasfilm and Disney's story group has approached non-film media over the past bunch of years. However, she's a character that many people love and to see her brought into a live-action format played by someone as great as Rosario Dawson is pretty cool.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Black Widow Final Trailer

Hm....so maybe my theory that Rachel Weisz is playing Taskmaster isn't true.

As far as the content goes, it hasn't changed my opinions about the movie. I'm seeing it opening night, it'll probably be super good, but the trailers haven't stood out to me as anything special and I still feel like Black Widow should've gotten her own movie in Phase 2 or this should have been released after Civil War and not come out now.

Everything Cancelled Due to the Coronavirus

One by one, everything is being postponed or outright cancelled due to the coronavirus. This sucks in so many ways that I'm sure we have no idea the full scope about.

TRON TV Series Plans for Disney+ Scrapped

Apparently, there was going to be a TV series for the TRON franchise on Disney+ but they decided to not move forward with the project.

While we have no idea what the project was and if the ideas were good for it, that sucks. I don't like the original film, but I think TRON: Legacy was a lot of fun (with an amazing soundtrack) and I feel like they're not tapping into some serious potential here.

Roberto Orci hired for Untitled Spider-Man Film

Orci, who helped co-write The Amazing Spider-Man 2, is going to do a film for Sony in this "Spider-Man Universe of Marvel Characters" thing that I really hate. Orci (and Alex Kurtzman) have done some great stuff in the past and had some flops, too, so I don't know how to feel about that other than that I have no faith this project will be a good idea outright just based on Sony's track record.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

RIP James Lipton

The host of Inside the Actors Studio passed away at age 93. That's a good run, but it's always sad to see people go. I was fond of the program and I feel like everything associated with it probably helped make so many more stars in Hollywood than we'll ever know, which is a testament to his contributions.

The Batmobile

We got our first look at the new Batmobile. Of course, they made sure to obscure some of it, so it's not the best look. I don't know why they're bothering to do that. But this just looks like a modified normal car. For a starter thing, I'm okay with that, but I hope this isn't supposed to be Batman in his prime. The car and the suit just look too...homemade. If this is year 2, though, then that's cool.

No Time to Die Delayed

I bought my tickets to the new James Bond film, No Time to Die, only for it to get delayed until November 25th due to the coronavirus. While that makes sense, it strikes me funny that they waited until after the tickets went on sale. Maybe they weren't breaking the box office and figured they could mitigate a potential problem at the same time as having an excuse?

Apparently, there's a chance they take a 30-50 million dollar loss because of this, though. Well...hm...

As requested through our Patreon "Pick Your Poison" tier by Guest Five, Fanboys Anonymous is providing you with another edition of the Group Meeting podcast (episode 31).

This edition is a roundtable discussion about upcoming superhero films set to come out from DC, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Disney+ series and more.

Make sure to subscribe/follow on whatever platform you're listening, leave your comments on the videos or this post, share this with your friends and geek out with us!

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Jurassic World: Dominion

That's the name of the third (technically sixth) film. Boooooooooooooring.

James Mangold to Take Over Indiana Jones 5

Steven Spielberg is giving up the reigns for the next Indiana Jones film and passing the baton to James Mangold (director of Logan and Ford v Ferrari). Spielberg will stay on as a producer.

I still don't know what they can do with this movie unless they recast his kid and replace Shia with someone else. Then, they can try to get the bulk of the action from someone not Harrison Ford, but...hm...

At the very least, I trust Mangold to do a good job with his job, even if the story might be the biggest problem.

Palpatine was a Clone in The Rise of Skywalker

They never made it official in the movies (shocker...that's been a running theme of these films lately) but in the books, apparently it clarifies that Palpatine's body was supposed to be a clone one just housing his spirit.

So, if that's the case, why don't they just make another one over and over and constantly repeat the process? It's dumb. That's why. All of it has been dumb.

Alfred Molina Cast as Mr. Freeze in Harley Quinn Season 2

Very cool! I don't know Sanaa Lathan, so I can't comment on the Catwoman casting, but I could see Molina providing a good voice for Mr. Freeze. I'm very curious where they go from where the finale left off. I love this show.

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in March 2020?

Onward

Synopsis: Set in a suburban fantasy world, two teenage elf brothers embark on a quest to discover if there is still magic out there.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Way Back

Synopsis: A former HS basketball phenom, struggling with alcoholism, is offered a coaching job at his alma mater. As the team starts to win, he may have a reason to confront his old demons. But will it be enough to set him on the road to redemption?

Will I watch? = No


My Spy

Synopsis: A hardened CIA operative finds himself at the mercy of a precocious 9-year-old girl, having been sent undercover to surveil her family.

Will I watch? = No

Bloodshot

Synopsis: Ray Garrison, a slain soldier, is re-animated with superpowers.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Hunt

Synopsis: Twelve strangers wake up in a clearing. They don't know where they are, or how they got there. They don't know they've been chosen - for a very specific purpose - The Hunt.

Will I watch? = No

Never Rarely Sometimes Always

Synopsis: A pair of teenage girls in rural Pennsylvania travel to New York City to seek out medical help after an unintended pregnancy.

Will I watch? = No

I Still Believe

Synopsis: The true-life story of Christian music star Jeremy Camp and his journey of love and loss that looks to prove there is always hope.

Will I watch? = No

The Roads Not Taken

Synopsis: Sally Potter's film follows a day in the life of Leo (Javier Bardem) and his daughter, Molly (Elle Fanning), as he floats through alternate lives he could have lived, leading Molly to wrestle with her own path as she considers her future.

Will I watch? = No

Inside the Rain

Synopsis: Facing expulsion from college over a misunderstanding, a bipolar student indulges his misery at a strip club where he befriends a gorgeous, intelligent, outrageous woman and they hatch a madcap scheme to prove his innocence.

Will I watch? = No


A Quiet Place Part II

Synopsis: Following the events at home, the Abbott family now face the terrors of the outside world. Forced to venture into the unknown, they realize the creatures that hunt by sound are not the only threats lurking beyond the sand path.

Will I watch? = Yes


Mulan

Synopsis: A young Chinese maiden disguises herself as a male warrior in order to save her father. A live-action feature film based on Disney's 'Mulan.'

Will I watch? = No


Which films make the cut?

6. The Way Back / The Roads Not Taken — I have no interest in either. Flip a coin.

5. My Spy — There's no way I'm seeing this, but it does have Batista in it and since I cover pro wrestling over on Smark Out Moment and other avenues, I'd get more out of seeing this and approaching it from that angle than some of the other movies.

4. Mulan — To be honest, I haven't even seen the original. It never appealed to me. This doesn't, either, but it's a bad month for movies.

3. Bloodshot — As I've mentioned before when I thought Bloodshot was coming out in February, this is a movie based on a comic book that has actiony superhero-esque elements to it. By default, that's more my speed than a lot of other things, so I'll check it out at some point, even if I don't see it in theaters.

2. Onward — This seems cute and I can't help but assume any Pixar movie deserves the benefit of the doubt that it will be at least decent, if not great.

1. A Quiet Place Part II — I really enjoyed the first one. You bet I'm seeing this.

A few weeks back, Sonic the Hedgehog surprised most people by being a pretty decent film that also surpassed box office expectations. At this point, being both monetarily and critically well-received, a sequel is guaranteed, if not a third film, too.

Before anything is officially announced about those movies, what do I think should happen and what would I do if I were given the keys to the kingdom and creative control?

Welcome to the first edition of FANBOYS FOLLOW-UP—a segment where I take a film or TV show and expand on where I'd like to see the story go from there. I've wanted to do this many times over the years with things like Kick-Ass 3, Incredibles 3, dating all the way back to one of the first posts on this site with my Ghostbusters III idea. Now, it's officially kicking off with this, because...well...why not?

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

We already know we're getting Tails as the end of the last film showed the little guy. It was a necessity. To make a sequel and not include him would be insane.

The last film ended with Robotnik stranded off-world and Sonic comfortable in his new home in the attic of the Wachowski's. We can't completely ignore the relationship between Sonic and The Donut Lord, Tom, nor push Maddie out of the way or anything like that. They need to do something, and there should be something that gets in the way of Sonic's friendship with Tom. That's what sequels pretty much always do.

Here's my quick pitch, as we don't need to flesh out all the little details:

The government was lenient on everyone, but they're still keeping tabs. They notice that something is happening across the planet that seems extremely reminiscent of Sonic's powers. Banks and technological facilities are being robbed in a split second and there's nothing but a blue streak of energy that they catch on camera. Who else are they going to blame but him? Crazy Carl agrees.

Tom goes to bat for Sonic, that he wouldn't be responsible, but the evidence mounts. Meanwhile, there's been tension brewing because Tails has come from Mobius trying to track him down because things have gotten bad and they could use his help. Creatures from that world are being converted into robots that are taking over. It's definitely Robotnik's fault, as these Badniks need to be stopped.

Immediately, there's a great partnership between Sonic and Tails, which makes Tom jealous. He doesn't really know what those two are up to, which makes him suspicious that Sonic is being a rebellious teenager and actually causing these crimes. But hey, Tom's not Sonic's father, so that creates even more tension. Plus, Maddie is pressuring Tom to have a baby and Sonic feels like he's being cast aside.

Then, they get seemingly full-proof evidence that it's Sonic causing these crimes when video surveillance footage manages to capture a picture of him and it has his shape, size, etc.

Who is the real culprit, though? Well, of course, it's Robotnik. I mean, he's the bad guy and all. But in particular, it's Mecha Sonic (aka Metal Sonic—I know they're all supposed to be different, but they shouldn't be, just like how Mega Man and X should be the same robot with some advancements and not entirely different characters). He should appear in Mark I form (Silver Sonic) but eventually, the blue armor and everything in future tweaks is more than enough to fool everyone.

Mecha Sonic is extremely powerful and able to match Sonic's speed, if not surpass it. That's the biggest physical fight of the whole thing, but there are also Badniks and normal drones that Robotnik pilots. That gives Tails something to do (disable the tech that controls the Badniks) and Tom something to do (fight off the drones) in the final battle.

It ends with Sonic being exonerated, Maddie having her child, Tom and Sonic have reconciled, Sonic has a friend in Tails that is closer to his own kind, they can travel between worlds easier through whatever means Robotnik found his way back, and all is well again.

That is...of course, until the tease at the end. The Knuckles Clan or Echnida Tribe or whatever you want to call them is attacked by another variation of Mecha Sonic and consult their prophecy about how they'd inevitably deal with the blue menace. Their cave paintings or scripture or whatever make it seem like Sonic is destined to destroy them through the Chaos Emeralds, and they won't let that happen.

Bonus points for how this is the #2 film and a ton of things revolve around the concept of two. There are two Sonics (real and robot). Tails has two tails. There are two heroes now from the other world (Sonic and Tails) as well as two villains in this story (Robotnik and Mecha Sonic). A wedge between Sonic/Tails and Tom/Maddie that is eventually patched up with their kid. So on and so forth.

Sonic the Hedgehog 3: Triple Trouble

As said, this film revolves around the Chaos Emeralds. There's a flashback to when Sonic was a child and that whole attack from the first film that had the echidnas hunting him. Their prophecy isn't clarified yet, as they've interpreted it as basically "Sonic will bring the end of Mobius through the Chaos Emeralds." Remember how in the games, there are those hieroglyphics that play into this idea? I'm copying that.

Robotnik sent Mecha Sonic to frame him again, so they think this is happening now. He offers to help them kill Sonic if he allows them access to the Chaos Emeralds. Since he's proven himself an ally so far and he's a genius from another world, they trust him and his new sidekick, a little purple wolf-like guy named Nack the Weasel (aka Fang the Sniper).

The head of the tribe is Knuckles. You know him. I don't need to go into who he is, and you know where this is going, too.

Admittedly, I'm not entirely sure what I'd do with the Tom and Maddie portion of this story yet, but I didn't want to sleep on this article any longer. Maybe in time, I'll edit this section with an update. But I do know I want Sonic and Tails to be bros and for the baby Wachowski to be something they watch over and for the kid to be in danger at some point in the movie, as well as some kind of tie-in to Chao.

Then, Sonic and Knuckles basically plays out the way you'd expect it. Knuckles is naive enough to trust Robotnik and acts as a primary antagonist along with Nack, who is more of a pest for Tails to deal with. We've got our Badniks in some fashion and possibly Mecha Sonic is back, but just not as featured. I'd rather have an alternative to that, but I don't think it's smart to throw out Shadow or something and I can't think of another enemy worth putting in the mix.

Robotnik uses the Master Emerald and unlocks Perfect Chaos, which is the real prophecy meaning: Sonic is the one to help stop the destruction, not the one who brings it. Knuckles realizes that mistake and joins the team, giving us Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Tom against Robotnik, Nack, the standard drones and the big bad threat of Perfect Chaos.

Sonic has to go Super Sonic to defeat it. He obviously does, because this is a film for kids and not something dark and depressing that ends in the world's destruction or something. Now that Sonic has proven himself totally not the problem, he's more than welcome to hang out on Angel Island and all throughout Mobius and Earth however he pleases.

Unfortunately, there's no natural way for me to figure out how to cram in more characters like Rouge and Cream, but maybe...just maybe...somewhere in there, you could add Amy Rose. If not, and if these movies do well enough that you can make a fourth, have a plot point be that Amy Rose is Sonic's girlfriend and that changes the dynamics of the group. You can have Rouge/Knuckles and Cream/Tails as the other couples and really market that toward the girls in the audience, too. But hey, I'm sticking with Sonic 2 and 3 at this point, and it's better not to get too far ahead of the game...I mean, movie...I mean, game-inspired movie.

The latest in the line of animated DC direct-to-video films is Superman: Red Son. Is it worth the watch, or should it be skipped?

Welcome to the latest edition of Making the Grade—a review format segment here on Fanboys Anonymous where we break down the major components of something and give it a score based on the standard report card lineup: A, B, C, D, and F for a total failure.

Superman: Red Son
Directed by Sam Liu
Written by J.M. DeMatteis (screenplay), Mark Millar (graphic novel), Dave Johnson (graphic novel), Kilian Plunkett (graphic novel)

STARRING: Jason Isaacs (Superman), Amy Acker (Lois Lane), Deidrich Bader (Lex Luthor), Vanessa Marshall (Wonder Woman), Phil Morris (James Olsen), Paul Williams (Brainiac), Greg Chun (Ambassador Lee), Phil LaMarr (John Stewart), Jim Meskimen (John F. Kennedy), Sasha Roiz (Hal Jordan), William Salyers (Joseph Stalin), Roger Craig Smith (Batman) and Tara Strong (Young Superman)

STORY: B

I had never read the comic before, so this was all new to me. The concept, in general, is a very good one. Not only is the title a good pun, it's also a nice job of flipping the script of the usual Superman story but holding true to some of the ideals from various incarnations.

Admittedly, I do think it probably works better as a graphic novel than a movie, though. There were parts of this that I felt jumped over details that could have been more interesting to dive deeper in, but only in a medium that would allow for it. Actually, it could work as a multi-episode TV show.

CHARACTERS: C–

Maybe C- is being a little generous. Most characters have no depth to them outside of what is face value and what they bring to the table with what you already know about them.

TONE / ATMOSPHERE: B–

ACTION: Meh, it was okay. There wasn't a single sequence that stands out to me, but they weren't bad.

COMEDY: None of this was funny that I can recall, but it wasn't supposed to be.

ROMANCE: Outside of Lois saying the sex is great with Lex and Diana turning down Superman, there wasn't any romance in this. That's okay. That wasn't the focal point.

DRAMA: On the political drama side of things, that is where this film's strengths are.


ACTING: D

The voice acting for the kids bit in the beginning was cringy. Then, many characters didn't get any better throughout the rest of the film. Yikes. That accent just comes off fake to me and even the Americans felt off. Deidrich Bader as Luthor...I don't know. It's not the worst we've had, but it still was strange.

VISUALS (FX, MAKEUP, COSTUMES, SETS): B

For the most part, the character models were pretty good. JFK looked awful, though.

AUDIO (MUSIC / SOUND): C–

The music was generic enough that I didn't register it. The sound design was okay for my ears.

• Svetlana Lang? Ha.
• Oh damn, Superman straight-up murdered Stalin. I didn't see that coming. 
• Bizarro. Okay.
• Old Wonder Woman gave me serious Linda Hamilton vibes for some reason.
• Nice touch with Superman not aging the same as everyone else.
• We took care of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern...curious where Flash was during all this.
• Luthor not turning out to be evil is astounding.

GRADE: C– (Pass)

There are far worse entries in these DC animated films, but there are far better ones, too. This is an interesting story that I feel is probably much better in its original form rather than this film. I'd recommend it to people who are big fans of the characters, but not the average person—especially not those who are younger and/or only interested in action, as that's not the target audience. For a one-time viewing, I enjoyed the concept more than I enjoyed the movie itself. I'm glad I watched it, but I don't think I'll ever revisit it.

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about: nothing, really.

I don't think there was a single story this week that wasn't just more of the same circle of rumors. "Is Sony still working with Disney on a Spider-Man deal?" Well, we've talked about that for months on-end.

Stephanie Beatriz denies she's been cast as She-Hulk. Okay, so that's a non-story.

More speculation on things like Red Hulk being part of the Thunderbolts in a movie or series. Yeah, that's been going around for months. Unless you have something concrete or new, what's there to talk about?

Sonic is doing well at the box office, like its first week.

I did see Jojo Rabbit, though. I'm late to the game on that. It started out as something I wasn't really feeling, but by the end of it, I was enjoying it. I wasn't super fond of the exact finale of it, but I can see why it got some acclaim.

On weeks like this, I wonder what it is that I've missed, so if you can think of something you can to pick my brain about, just let me know in the comments!

As requested through our Patreon "Pick Your Poison" tier by Guest Five, Fanboys Anonymous is providing you with another edition of the FanTracks podcast, this time for The Batman/Superman Movie: World's Finest. (aka, 3 episodes of Superman: The Animated Series entitled World's Finest Part 1-3)

For copyright reasons, we cannot provide the movie itself, but after a short introduction, you will be told when to sync your copy of the film so you can following along with us and listen to our thoughts on the movie as we crack some jokes, expose plot holes, and discuss anything else that comes to our minds for commentary.

Make sure to subscribe/follow on whatever platform you're listening, leave your comments on the videos or this post, share this with your friends and geek out with us!

Welcome to another edition of WEEK IN GEEK here at Fanboys Anonymous—a rundown of some of the events, news and stories that went down over the past few days in the geek culture spectrum.

Here are some of the topics I felt like voicing my opinions about:

Aladdin Sequel in the Works

An original story, not based on the follow-up to the original film, is reportedly in the works. This could be good or, more realistically, this could be awful. There wasn't really all that much of anything with the live-action version of the film that I liked better than the animated film, which is just flat out better. But maybe there's something to this. I'll probably see it.

Knives Out Sequel

Rian Johnson said that the sequel for Knives Out will feature Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc, but everyone else would be brand new to the cast. This makes perfect sense. Why would he still be hanging around that one family? Perfect decision - something completely contrarian to how Johnson approached The Last Jedi.

Rick Moranis Returning for Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Sequel

THAT is the movie that gets you to return to acting?!!?! Look, I liked the film as a kid, and I even saw the follow-up stuff, but c'mon now. If Moranis pops up in this and isn't in Ghostbusters, that will be absurd.

First Look at Robert Pattinson in the Bat Suit

Admittedly, everything is masked as all hell to not provide a great look at it. The colors could be strange, or the shape could be weird if not for that light. However, what I CAN see so far, I do like, minus how the symbol on the chest isn't quite a bat.

No Time to Die Theme by Billie Eilish

I mean, it's not catchy. It's kind of a drone. But it's still pleasant to listen to. Just please don't kill Bond or have him retire the 007 number or anything like that.

Lucifer Getting a Season 6?

The next season of Lucifer (season 5) was supposed to be the finale, split between two sections of 8-episode chunks. However, there's now talk that they may bring it back for a sixth season on top of that.

Gimme! I absolutely love this show. The more, the better.

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous REVIEWPOINT podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of Sonic the Hedgehog by discussing what worked, what didn't, and whether you should see it or skip it.

Sonic tries to navigate the complexities of life on Earth with his newfound best friend -- a human named Tom Wachowski. They must soon join forces to prevent the evil Dr. Robotnik from capturing Sonic and using his powers for world domination.

Make sure to subscribe/follow on whatever platform you're listening, leave your comments on the videos or this post, share this with your friends and geek out with us!