Fanboys Anonymous

I was so thoroughly disappointed with Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi that I couldn't just do a normal Reviewpoint of it, as it wasn't an issue of a handful of positives and negatives.

There are so many core problems with this movie and how it has ruined the franchise and killed my hopes for the future of the series that I needed to write down my thoughts, balance them out into a more structured form (as my brain was just chattering away with "and another thing!" moments) and present them in a much more coherent fashion.

I basically feel like this film irreparably hurt everything that came before it and proves that I and many others who will agree with me shouldn't be anticipating anything positive coming out of future installments of the series.

Let's just dive into what caused me to feel so bummed out and deeply saddened as the end credits came up...

Taking risks vs. playing it safe

Let's just address the argumentative elephant in the room. People seem to be thinking that if you dislike this movie, you dislike it because it took risks, and they try to argue that you can't complain about that while also complaining that The Force Awakens played it safe.

In my mind, if your whole opinion on a movie's value is based on whether or not you could predict it, you're looking at it from the wrong perspective.

Movies aren't meant to surprise you, they're meant to tell you a story. Yes, it can be fun when you didn't see a twist coming, but that is a bonus, not the core purpose of this form of entertainment.

Subverting expectations is good only when the result that comes out of it is good. If it's just a surprise for the sake of a surprise and the end result is shit, then you're left with shit. You go into a Batman film expecting Batman to overcome the villain, right? Would it suddenly be an awesome movie if Batman was killed in the first 5 minutes just to surprise the audience and the rest of the film was spent watching Crazy Quilt rob banks?

If you're going to hate a movie because it's predictable and love it because it isn't, then just go see a magic act, because all you care about is the wow factor that will fade away in two seconds.

Movies that are written with the purpose of surprising an audience are no better than jump scares in horror films, which aren't actually scary, but just a momentary adrenaline rush.

The Last Jedi plays it safe in the sense that it copies elements of previous, better told stories as its backbone while taking risks with the few things it shouldn't play around with, and ruins them. Basically, out of fear of your child ruining their $5 toys, you handed your kid a priceless vase that can crack as soon as its dropped. Then, your kid dropped it, and if you would have just had them play with something cheaper and that got ruined, it wouldn't be as big of a deal.

This film could have taken risks with everything other than the Skywalker story, but that's the one thing they chose to fuck with, and they ruined it in the process.

Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to.

That is the theme of the movie, but it's ironic that it is hypocritical in how the story group approached writing this movie to begin with.

There's an overwhelming feeling of "kill off the original trilogy elements in order to make way for our new Disney-era Star Wars films" that I get with this, and that they're willing to hurt the franchise if they have to make way for their storytelling elements that they want to.

That in itself is a horrible way to go about things. It's the equivalent of saying that you need to total your car because the headlight was broken and you want to rebuild the whole thing. Mind you, you're running the risk of that car not being rebuilt in a better way, but much worse, and you could have just patched up the headlight and kept going.

Disney needed to correct the mistakes of the prequels that people didn't like, not burn the whole thing down to start new.

But even if we ignore that for a minute, we can see that it is hypocritical to have this kind of message and still make the types of films The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi are, because they both rely so heavily on repeating things from the original films that it proves this crop of writers can't write their own Star Wars movies, they can only rehash what has come before them.

"This movie isn't going to be like The Empire Strikes Back" is what they said. However, Empire is about the Rebel Alliance being on the run from an attack by The Empire. This movie is literally one single "running from an attack by The First Order" plot!

In Empire, two heroes (Han and Leia) that are romantically involved go to a city (Cloud City) that runs a business (mining) and they meet a scoundrel (Lando) who turns on them. In The Last Jedi, two heroes (Finn and Rose) that are romantically involved go to a city (Canto Bight) that runs a business (gambling) and they meet a scoundrel (DJ) who turns on them.

TESB starts off with a rebel base on a white planet being attacked until the heroes flee, while TLJ ends with a former rebel base on a white planet being attacked until the heroes flee.

Those Praetorian Guards? They're just the same red royal guards that we've seen before, with slightly altered costumes and weapons. I mean hell, they couldn't even color them differently? Why couldn't they have just been The Knights of Ren while we're at it?

Remember how in TESB, Luke goes into a weird cave and sees a vision of himself? Rey does the same here.

Clearly, with TFA and TLJ, the writers felt like they needed to have a Palpatine-esque guy, so they came up with Supreme Leader Snoke. If you replace Supreme Leader with Emperor and Snoke with Palpatine, what are the differences? One of them is the old, pale, scarred leader of the Empire who uses the dark side and sits on a throne before being killed by his apprentice, Darth Vader — the other is an old, pale, scarred leader of the First Order who uses the dark side and sits on a throne before being killed by his apprentice who looks just like Darth Vader and is his grandson. Jesus, they even both die with the protagonist in the room while they overlook the imminent destruction of the heroes!

The Force Awakens mostly rehashed A New Hope while this one took from The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Real original.

Supreme Loser Snoke

One of the best characters to exhibit the flaw of this new regime is Supreme Leader Snoke—an absolutely atrociously written character who could have been interesting if better writers had put any effort into him at all...and I mean, any effort at all.

We covered above how he is just a copycat Palpatine, but it's even worse that he has absolutely no backstory or anything we can care about at all.

His character was nothing but a tool, and an unnecessary one at that. He has no purpose at all.

This is what we know of Snoke:

He turned Ben Solo to the dark side. — How? We don't get to see any of this or have any of it explained, so it's an element we don't need in the story. Ben could have just turned to the dark side any other way, including being born with an inherent bad attitude.

He was the leader of the Empire, I mean, First Order — How? Did he just pop up one day and announce himself the leader in front of a committee that I'm unaware of? Why is he evil? Why does he want to rule the galaxy? Why does he also want to continue with Stormtroopers and stuff instead of making his own mark?

He died. — That's the end of it.

Everything else, we're either not told at all because it happened off-screen, or it doesn't matter.

In The Force Awakens, we're told, not shown, that he at some point interacted with Luke and Leia and Han and turned Ben evil and rose the ranks to become Supreme Leader and that he also somehow knows what happened with Vader and Palpatine, which we were given absolutely no information about in this movie, either.

The Skywalkers are failures and none of this struggle mattered at all

The story of Episode 1 to Episode 6, including Rogue One, is about how The Force is out of balance, so The Force creates Anakin Skywalker to fix that problem. He stumbles along the way, burning down the bureaucracy and causing horror, but he is ultimately redeemed through his children. His son, Luke, convinces him to eliminate the great evil. Luke, possessing the knowledge of how to create a better Jedi Order of peacekeepers, will pass on the right teachings to the future, while Leia will be instrumental in rebuilding society in a much better way than The Republic which preceded it. All is well.

The Force Awakens comes along and says "but what if instead of peace, The Empire just continued and killed everyone and we had to start all over again?" and The Last Jedi follows it up with "and this time, we prove to you that the Skywalkers can't do anything right."

Anakin was The Chosen One. He burned down an entire galaxy to kill one guy, and then his kids spent their lives trying to achieve peace, only to accomplish the complete opposite by raising Ben to decimate the galaxy again.

But don't worry, it's cool. We've got this random chick named Rey who can fix all our problems.

Is she the new Chosen One, born out of The Force? Is she a Skywalker, offsetting the evil of Kylo Ren?

Nope, she's just some girl. We literally even tell the audience that she is a nobody. It's important for them to follow the story of a nobody who has had no training and is not only more powerful than the bloodline of our Jesus metaphor, but also has a better sense of morality than the heroes that multiple generations of people grew up on.

With the way this movie ends, we're exactly the way we left off at the end of Revenge of the Sith, only this time, meaning the events of A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi and everything that followed it until Ben's turn to the dark side was all meaningless.

Now, we have to hope that this nobody can save the galaxy and pass on the teachings, cause that dumbass Luke sure couldn't do it. What a failure, that guy was, and what a failure his sister Leia was, too. The galaxy would have been better off if they both died in Return of the Jedi so they couldn't have spawned the evil of Kylo Ren. Maybe Admiral Ackbar and Mon Mothma would have kept The Republic alive, then.

Unless, of course, Kylo Ren turns good again, which means they just rehashed the Anakin Skywalker storyline again because they couldn't figure out anything else to write. Basically, you either copy and paste something that was done better the first time, or you say "fuck it, Rey's the chosen one because she's our creation and we prefer our own fan fiction to the lore that this whole series was built on."

Lucas is probably sick to his stomach that they just shat all over his story.

It reminds me of how X-Men: The Last Stand had a completely wrong message, where instead of Rogue choosing not to take the cure, she chose to take it. Instead of telling the audience "it's okay to be yourself", the message of that movie became "you really do need to change, you fucking weirdo."

Star Wars used to be about how love conquers all. Now, it's about how in the end, you're still going to fail.

If The Force knew that Anakin and Luke and Leia would ultimately not accomplish a single goddamn thing other than perpetual mass genocide, The Force should go back to the events 9 years before The Phantom Menace and just figure out a different plan.

You're just mad that it's a woman who is saving the galaxy

No, I'm mad that it isn't a Skywalker. If you told me at the end of this movie that Rey's parents were Luke and some unknown woman, or Han and Leia, then I would be much more okay with this, because there would still be a chance that the Skywalker lineage wouldn't be total failures.

Oh shut up and stop being melodramatic. It's just a movie.

I'm not tying a noose to end my life here, it's just sad to know that something you got a lot of enjoyment out of is no longer going to do that anymore.

This was one of my favorite franchises and now, I have no faith in the direction the storytellers are going, so I won't get that excitement and satisfaction out of future movies, and this one actively goes out of its way to hurt the prestige of the movies that I did love.

It's a bummer in the same way it would be a bummer to find out that your favorite television series was cancelled or that the restaurant that you love eating at changed its recipes.

Everything is "just" something. Yes, it's "just a movie" but movies are the biggest aspect of fun and entertainment in my life, and in one fell swoop, this film just did a number on damaging one of my favorite series and I'm not sure it'll ever get repaired, so I'm sad about that in the same way I would be sad if someone ruined my wedding, because in the end, isn't that just a party to celebrate my wife and I signing some papers?

But aren't you excited about how Episode 9 can fix these problems?

It won't. I'm not even going to be optimistic about it. If it does, then yeah, I'll be happier about it, but I'm not going to be hopeful.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day is my favorite movie of all time. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ruined the franchise. Since then, Terminator Salvation was a slight step up, but didn't fix the problems of T3. Then, Terminator Genisys was meant to be the savior to the franchise, but did even more damage than T3.

No. I have no faith Episode 9 will end in a way that I'll be happy with the choices they made here. But please, please prove me wrong.

I get it. You have a political agenda.

You want to complain about the prequels being too focused on preaching, but this is okay? This feels like the only goal of the movie was to make a propaganda piece about how the establishment is awful.

Mind you, I agree with this message! I absolutely hate how the rich and greedy can be powerful and how corporations can run governments and stuff. I like that message, but I don't need that to be the purpose of my Star Wars movie.

For instance, the whole Canto Bight thing was an unnecessary side mission. If I wanted to see a movie about how jockeys hurt horses, I'd watch Seabiscuit or whatever. This felt like an episode of Star Wars Rebels that I wouldn't have enjoyed, rather than a main theme of one of the core movies.

Canto Bight was lame, too. There was almost nothing making it feel like it was a Star Wars universe concept. They had carbon copies of the same games we have, with no otherworldly instruments. Those slot machines look like slot machines anybody could make at any casino. The craps table? Come on. They even looked like they were drinking standard Earth alcohol from standard Earth liquor glasses.

What about Leia?

This one, admittedly, isn't technically their fault, but how are they going to close out her story now? Does she just get written off in a stupid death off-screen? Do they not even bother to finish her arc and just act like she isn't around for the hell of it?

They should have just taken advantage of the extra few months they had and crafted a few changes to the script, done some reshoots, and killed her character off.

Miscellaneous other problems and nitpicking

• Still no Lando? Okay, now, at this point, you need to kill him off before The Force Awakens in a side novel or show.
• "Oh shit, people are complaining that Poe and Rey never met. Let's have them in a scene where they say hey."
• "Oh shit, people are complaining that Captain Phasma should have been the one to fight Finn instead of that other random Stormtrooper. We'd better bring Phasma back to life and have the two of them fight in similar fashion and kill Phasma off again."
• Leia floating was ridiculous. Not the idea behind it, because she should be powerful, but the execution of it. She looked like Mary Poppins.
• Chewbacca should have died in The Force Awakens. He clearly has no purpose in this story anymore.
• Yoda's CGI was horrible.
• So Luke wants to burn down the Jedi text until Yoda stops him. Then, Yoda burns it and Luke is upset. Then, I guess Rey already has the books?
• Nobody said "I have a bad feeling about this" at all to my recollection. This is like having a James Bond film where he doesn't say "Bond, James Bond" or "shaken, not stirred" or that it doesn't have the opening gun barrel. Yeah, those Daniel Craig films that neglected those pissed me off, too.

What I did like about the movie...

• Porgs are adorable. I want one.
• Some utterly minor details like how Leia told Threepio to wipe that look off his face, or how Luke said Artoo playing the hologram message was a cheap move.
• Seeing Yoda again was great, even though the CGI was awful and his purpose was flawed.
• The battering ram was cool.
• Holdo going lightspeed through Snoke's ship was sweet.
• My biggest positive takeaway I had from the entire film was the absolutely beautiful imagery of Luke becoming one with The Force. That almost made me cry.

Really, I just don't know how to process all this except to feel disappointed and to wish that I could go back in time to before I saw the film, because at least then, I had some hope that it wouldn't make the mistakes this movie did.

I would say that the best I can do is hope for Episode IX to come along and make me feel better, but, well, when 2019 comes along, you're not going to see me as excited anymore, that's for sure.

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous Reviewpoint podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi.

What were the positives and negatives of Star Wars: The Last Jedi? Did it live up to the hype or was it a disappointment?

Check out the podcast below on YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher. Make sure to subscribe and tell us your thoughts on The Last Jedi in the comments below!

Rey develops her newly discovered abilities with the guidance of Luke Skywalker, who is unsettled by the strength of her powers. Meanwhile, the Resistance prepares to do battle with the First Order.

The 75th annual Golden Globe Awards will take place Sunday, January 7, 2018 at the Beverly Hilton on NBC, hosted by Seth Meyers. Here are the nominees for all of the categories. Give us your predictions on the winners and your favorites in the comments below!

Best Supporting Performance by an Actress in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film
Laura Dern, Big Little Lies
Ann Dowd, The Handmaid's Tale
Chrissy Metz, This is Us
Michelle Pfeiffer, The Wizard of Lies
Shailene Woodley, Big Little Lies

Best Supporting Performance by an Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film
David Harbour, Stranger Things
Alfred Molina, Feud: Bette and Joan
Christian Slater, Mr. Robot
Alexander Skarsgard, Big Little Lies
David Thewlis, Fargo

Best Performance by an Actress in a Miniseries or Television Film
Jessica Biel, The Sinner
Nicole Kidman, Big Little Lies
Jessica Lange, Feud: Bette and Joan
Susan Sarandon, Feud: Bette and Joan
Reese Witherspoon, Big Little Lies

Best Performance by an Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film
Robert De Niro, The Wizard of Lies
Jude Law, The Young Pope
Kyle MacLachlan, Twin Peaks
Ewan McGregor, Fargo
Geoffrey Rush, Genius

Best Miniseries or Television Film
Big Little Lies
Fargo
Feud: Bette and Joan
The Sinner
Top of the Lake: China Girl

Best Performance By an Actress in a Television Series (Comedy or Musical)
Pamela Adlon, Better Things
Alison Brie, Glow
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Issa Rae, Insecure
Frankie Shaw, SMILF

Best Performance By an Actor in a Television Series (Comedy or Musical)
Anthony Anderson, Black-ish
Aziz Ansari, Master of None
Kevin Bacon, I Love Dick
William H. Macy, Shameless
Eric McCormack, Will and Grace

Best Performance By an Actress in a Television Series (Drama)
Caitriona Balfe, Outlander
Claire Foy, The Crown
Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Deuce
Katherine Langford, 13 Reasons Why
Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid's Tale

Best Performance By an Actor in a Television Series (Drama)
Jason Bateman, Ozark
Sterling K. Brown, This is Us
Freddie Highmore, The Good Doctor
Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul
Liev Schreiber, Ray Donovan

Best Television Series (Comedy)
Black-ish
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Master of None
SMILF
Will & Grace

Best Television Series (Drama)
The Crown
Game of Thrones
The Handmaid's Tale
Stranger Things
This is Us


Best Original Score
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
The Shape of Water
Phantom Thread
The Post
Dunkirk

Best Original Song
"Home", Ferdinand
"Mighty River", Mudbound
"Remember Me", Coco
"The Star", The Star
"This Is Me", The Greatest Showman

Best Supporting Performance by Actress in a Motion Picture
Mary J. Blige, Mudbound
Hong Chau, Downsizing
Allison Janney, I, Tonya
Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water

Best Supporting Performance By an Actor in a Motion Picture
Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
Armie Hammer, Call Me by Your Name
Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water
Christopher Plummer, All The Money in the World
Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)
Judi Dench, Victoria & Abdul
Helen Mirren, The Leisure Seeker
Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
Emma Stone, Battle of the Sexes

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)
Steve Carell, Battle of the Sexes
Ansel Elgort, Baby Driver
James Franco, The Disaster Artist
Hugh Jackman, The Greatest Showman
Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama)
Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name
Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
Tom Hanks, The Post
Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Best Performance By an Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama)
Jessica Chastain, Molly's Game
Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Meryl Streep, The Post
Michelle Williams, All The Money in the World

Best Motion Picture (Foreign Language)
A Fantastic Woman
First They Killed My Father
In the Fade
Loveless
The Square

Best Motion Picture (Animated)
The Boss Baby
The Breadwinner
Coco
Ferdinand
Loving Vincent

Best Director - Motion Picture
Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water
Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk
Ridley Scott, All The Money in the World
Steven Spielberg, The Post

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
Guillermo Del Toro, Vanessa Taylor, The Shape of Water
Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird
Liz Hannah, Josh Singer, The Post
Martin McDonagh, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Aaron Sorkin, Molly's Game

Best Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical)
The Disaster Artist
Get Out
The Greatest Showman
I, Tonya
Lady Bird

Best Motion Picture (Drama)
Call Me by Your Name
Dunkirk
The Post
The Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in December 2017?

Wonder Wheel

Synopsis: On Coney Island in the 1950s, a lifeguard tells the story of a middle-aged carousel operator and his beleaguered wife.

Will I watch? = No

The Disaster Artist

Synopsis: When Greg Sestero, an aspiring film actor, meets the weird and mysterious Tommy Wiseau in an acting class, they form a unique friendship and travel to Hollywood to make their dreams come true.

Will I watch? = Yes

Padmavati

Synopsis: Set in medieval Rajasthan, Queen Padmavati is married to a noble king and they live in a prosperous fortress with their subjects until an ambitious Sultan hears of Padmavati's beauty and forms an obsessive love for the Queen of Mewar.

Will I watch? = No

The Tribes of Palos Verdes

Synopsis: When the situation at her idyllic Palos Verdes home turns volatile, young Medina attempts to surf her way to happiness.

Will I watch? = No

Love Beats Rhymes

Synopsis: When struggling rapper Coco (Azealia Banks) enrolls in a poetry class, she thinks her rhymes will impress her teacher, Professor Dixon (Jill Scott). Instead, Dixon challenges Coco to seek real meaning in her lyrics, setting her on a journey of discovery that takes her through rap clubs and poetry slams, leading her to find her true voice - and true love - in this uplifting movie costarring Lucien Laviscount and Common.

Will I watch? = No

Gangster Land

Synopsis: The story of America's most famous mobsters and their rise to power, GANGSTER LAND examines Al Capone's ascension through the eyes of his second in command, "Machine Gun" Jack McGurn. Once an amateur boxer, McGurn is lured into the Italian mafia after the murder of his step-father. Upon joining, he rises swiftly through the ranks along with friend and eventual Boss, Capone. As the Italian mob becomes the most lucrative criminal organization in the country, tensions build with "Bugs" Moran and the Irish mob which ignites a brutal gang war culminating with the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

Will I watch? = No

Another WolfCop

Synopsis: Alcoholic werewolf cop Lou Garou springs into action when an eccentric businessman with evil intentions seduces Woodhaven's residents with a new brewery and hockey team in this outrageous horror-comedy sequel.

Will I watch? = No

Naples '44 (2016)

Synopsis: A British Intelligence Officer in Naples at the end of World War II: Norman Lewis's acknowledged masterpiece about a war-torn city and its unforgettable humanity.

Will I watch? = No

Slumber

Synopsis: A sleep doctor tries to protect a family from a demon that feeds on people in their nightmares.

Will I watch? = No


The Shape of Water

Synopsis: An other-worldly fairy tale, set against the backdrop of Cold War era America circa 1962. In the hidden high-security government laboratory where she works, lonely Elisa (Sally Hawkins) is trapped in a life of isolation. Elisa's life is changed forever when she and co-worker Zelda (Octavia Spencer) discover a secret classified experiment.

Will I watch? = Maybe

All the Money in the World

Synopsis: The story of the kidnapping of 16-year-old John Paul Getty III and the desperate attempt by his devoted mother to convince his billionaire grandfather Jean Paul Getty to pay the ransom.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Just Getting Started

Synopsis: A two-hander action comedy in the vein of Midnight Run about an ex-FBI agent (Jones) and an ex-mob lawyer in the witness protection program (Freeman) having to put aside their petty rivalry on the golf course to fend off a mob hit.

Will I watch? = No

I, Tonya

Synopsis: Competitive ice skater Tonya Harding rises amongst the ranks at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, but her future in the activity is thrown into doubt when her ex-husband intervenes.

Will I watch? = No


Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Synopsis: Having taken her first steps into the Jedi world, Rey joins Luke Skywalker on an adventure with Leia, Finn and Poe that unlocks mysteries of the Force and secrets of the past.

Will I watch? = Yes

Ferdinand

Synopsis: After Ferdinand, a bull with a big heart, is mistaken for a dangerous beast, he is captured and torn from his home. Determined to return to his family, he rallies a misfit team on the ultimate adventure.

Will I watch? = No

Permanent

Synopsis: Permanent is a comedy about bad hair, adolescence, and socially awkward family members. It involves life-altering permanents and poorly-made toupees. Obstacles to daily survival ensue.

Will I watch? = No


Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Synopsis: Four teenagers discover an old video game console and are literally drawn into the game's jungle setting becoming the adult avatars they chose.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Pitch Perfect 3

Synopsis: Following their win at the world championship, the now separated Bellas reunite for one last singing competition at an overseas USO tour, but face a group who uses both instruments and voices.

Will I watch? = No

Downsizing

Synopsis: A social satire in which a guy realizes he would have a better life if he were to shrink himself.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Father Figures

Synopsis: Upon learning that their mother has been lying to them for years about their allegedly deceased father, two fraternal twin brothers hit the road in order to find him.

Will I watch? = No

The Post

Synopsis: A cover-up that spanned four U.S. Presidents pushed the country's first female newspaper publisher and a hard-driving editor to join an unprecedented battle between journalist and government. Inspired by true events.

Will I watch? = No

Happy End

Synopsis: A drama about a family set in Calais with the European refugee crisis as the backdrop.

Will I watch? = No


The Greatest Showman

Synopsis: Inspired by the imagination of P.T. Barnum, The Greatest Showman is an original musical that celebrates the birth of show business and tells of a visionary who rose from nothing to create a spectacle that became a worldwide sensation.

Will I watch? = No

Molly's Game

Synopsis: The true story of Molly Bloom, an Olympic-class skier who ran the world's most exclusive high-stakes poker game and became an FBI target.

Will I watch? = No

Phantom Thread

Synopsis: Set in 1950's London, Reynolds Woodcock is a renowned dressmaker whose fastidious life is disrupted by a young, strong-willed woman, Alma, who becomes his muse and lover.

Will I watch? = No

Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool

Synopsis: A romance sparks between a young actor and a Hollywood leading lady.

Will I watch? = No


Which films make the cut?

6. All the Money in the World — I'm very curious how they handle switching Kevin Spacey out for Christopher Plummer.

5. Downsizing — The trailer got a chuckle out of me and this is a weak month, so sure.

4. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle — I was never as big a fan of the original as a kid as most people were my age, but it was still something I do remember watching two or three times, so there's a nostalgia element behind it nonetheless, and the previews have given me enough satisfaction that I'll Movie Pass it most likely.

3. The Shape of the Water — This is very interesting. I don't just get excited for a Guillermo Del Toro movie with his name attached, but after watching the trailer, I wanted to know more about the film's premise and what's going on with the creature. It's strange and I'm sure I'll see this at some point.

2. The Disaster Artist — I pretty much specifically watched The Room for the first time ever around Thanksgiving particularly because this movie looks interesting.

1. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi — Bought my tickets over a month ago. Come on. It's fucking Star Wars. Now please just give me confirmation that Rey is Luke's daughter, give Leia a worthy death, and don't screw absolutely anything up, okay?

Marvel's The Punisher is set to premiere at 3am EST on Netflix, and per usual, this post will be documenting my running commentary of thoughts as I binge-watch every episode. I'll be adding notes almost as a stream of consciousness and when everything has concluded, I'll be wrapping everything up with a full season recap and review to see just how good or bad the overall package was and the hits and misses in a Reviewpoint podcast video.

I invite you to follow along and to leave your thoughts in the comments below just the same!

Episode 1 - "3 A.M."

- "Punisher comes to Juarez, we'll kill his ass!" - LOL no you won't.
- I think I'll skip the intro from now on. Once was enough. Not bad, but not good enough that I want to hear it 12 more times in a row.
- Anybody else find it funny to imagine Frank Castle making that sandwich and putting it in the ziploc bag and all?
- Nooooo, not the sandwich! Now, it's personal.
- Damn it. I want a sandwich. What the hell, Marvel? I just ate. I shouldn't be hungry again. You're going to kill my diet that I don't really have. If I make it through the rest of this episode without getting a sandwich, I'll be happy.
- "He was like a superhero to me or something, except they don't die." In Marvel, at least. Unless you're Quicksilver.
- "You really think our governments are tyrants?" - uh...yeah, dude, they are. Look around. That one babbling gun-nut is crazy but Lewis knows what's up. (This probably means I'll hate him eventually since I agree with him lol)
- I like Curtis. He's totally going to die, right? I hope not.
- Donny my boy, don't pay that bill. Ah fuck.
- Damn it, Donny. You're out of your element if you go on this rob job.
- Oh shit, I know that voice. Yup, that's that woman that's in a bunch of stuff and always seems like this wise yet untrustworthy but also somehow motherly character. She's great.
- Ugh...Donny...
- WTF is up with this song playing while Punisher is going all punishy on these construction douchebags? Weird choice. It doesn't really fit in my opinion.
- Well that's one less mafia family to deal with. Looks like The Punisher just preemptively solved SO MUCH crime. Not that I'm condoning that sort of thing....officially.

Episode 2 - "Two Dead Men"

- Three eggs over easy, side of bacon, sourdough toast. Okay. Sounds good. Not as good as that sandwich. Good line about "Depends on the eggs" by the way.
- I like my Microchip as "Microchip" and overweight instead of this guy. Let's see if he's going to change my mind.
- I wonder if the audition to play Frank's wife consisted of just waking Jon Bernthal up with kisses, cause that's all she's doing. Well, and getting shot in the head.
- Wasn't Jigsaw in the mob instead of, well, pretty much the total opposite?
- Well Wolf died a lot sooner than I thought he would.
- Those don't look like over easy eggs.
- For some reason, I'm finding myself not interested in this episode. I hope things pick up.

Episode 3 - "Kandahar"

- I'm warming up to Micro(chip) more, I'll give him that. Still don't like him enough, but I do like him more.
- So since Billy Russo is a future villain, and they're going with the "best buddies" angle, I'm just waiting for the episode 6 or 8 turnaround where they find out that he's in bed with the villains for some reason. Right now, I'm not getting too much out of him.
- Oh shit, Lewis was the dude who played Lee Harvey Oswald in 11.22.63? I knew he looked familiar.
- Time for the obligatory "sleepy head" scene.
- Uh, Lewis, if you're gonna be that trigger happy from nightmares, maybe don't sleep with a goddamn loaded gun under your pillow?
- While this whole massacre in Kandahar is happening on screen, the main thought running through my mind is that it's sad that there are people who will watch this and think to themselves "fuck yeah!" with some sort of patriotic pride, as if this is something to be honoring.
- LOL at the chair rolling. If Micro would have said "weeeee!" that would have been great.

Episode 4 - "Resupply"

- That's healthy, Lewis. Also, you haven't learned your lesson that you'll shoot your dad.
- Turk!!!!!!!
- So wait, the guy from Lethal Weapon is basically just doing the same role here of "generic authoritative cop from another place coming in to tell you what's up" eh? Don't trust him.
- They just did a Robin Hood joke, but as far as I'm aware, there hasn't been a single reference to anything in the MCU like the Battle of New York. Are they just not even trying to make these fit in the same universe anymore?
- From their first hit-cute, I've been waiting for Micro's wife to try to kiss Frank. That's going to happen down the line for sure.
- I don't buy some of these Anvil recruits to be highly skilled weapons unless you add the phrase "in a donut shop" to the end of the sentence.
- Dinah's had enough of a chance for me to like her, but she's just getting bitchier. Sam's a pushover, too. I'm okay if we don't see too too much of their story bulking things out.
- Lewis is just awful. I hope he doesn't kill Curtis.

Episode 5 - "Gunner"

- Dinah is waking up in bed. Clearly, Frank's wife will kiss her now. Sleepy head.
- I hope Sarah makes Frank some eggs. He likes those.
- That kiss felt weird.
- Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. Hey there. You're going to be a villain for the second half of this season, aren't you?
- I'm starting to think I might not want to binge this whole season straight through. I'm pretty tired, so I might take a nap after the next episode.
- Nice ass, but Misty and Elektra still have hotter sex scenes.

Episode 6 - "The Judas Goat"

- So if you're following my exploits for being hungry, I didn't quite get a sandwich (because I don't have the proper materials here) but I did heat up some shitty frozen pulled pork sliders that will tide me over.
- I guess every one of these servicemen sleep with a gun under their pillows.
- Damn it, why did I choose to eat pulled pork during the scene where they're doing surgery?
- Trying to step up your sex scene game, Dinah? At least you're naked this time.
- Did she just steal his pillow for her back? How rude.
- I always thought Ben Barnes would be a good choice for Dick Grayson. Nightwing gets around. The way Barnes' characters are here and in Westworld, that confirms my theory.
- Sorry Micro, but out of all the characters on this show, the one I hate the most is your son. What a little pecker.
- For those interested, the ranking of how I like the characters at the moment are Frank, then Curtis, then Micro, then Billy, and blah blah.
- Ugh. Now I hate the cop even more.
- Only a matter of time before Lewis killed someone. At least it was another shitty person.
- Oh noooo bad guy is bad guy. (Downside to knowing the source material ahead of time)

Episode 7 - "Crosshairs"

- "And in my first memories, they shot Kennedy." Damn it, Leewis Harvey Oswald. Side note, I hope this actor doesn't get typecast as murdering military guy forever.
- Riggs did it better.
- Um...five second rule?
- Fuuuuck bullet proof glass.

Episode 8 - "Cold Steel"

- Quantity of sex scenes versus quality. Hmm...
- And there's the kiss. Micro's going to be piiiiiiissed.
- Micro doesn't need to show him his junk. He was naked in the chair, remember? Funny convo and a great exchange between the two though. I liked this scene a lot.
- And there goes Stein. Figured that had to happen.
- By now, I've been awake 24 hours straight, so I'll be taking a snooze and picking this back up real soon. Stay tuned for more reactions and the Reviewpoint later today!

Episode 9 - "Front Toward Enemy"

- Alright, let's return to schedule.
- Surprised Karen is on this Langtry show instead of Trish Walker's.
- 37? In a row??? (points if you get that joke)
- Better not kill Curtis.
- Good.

Episode 10 - "Virtue of the Vicious"

- Those parakeets are broken. Sure you didn't buy them from Lloyd Christmas?
- One of the problems with these Netflix shows is that I always feel like there's a subplot or two (or three) that are built in purely to stretch it. This Lewis situation is interesting, but it isn't furthering much of the narrative of the original goal. It's just giving everyone more to do. Instead, I'd rather see this be the pure and only focal point of a six episode arc that is separate and not interwoven sometimes. I think it would be smarter if Marvel released six episodes at a time of these shows to make it easier to binge, keep things tighter, and roll them out more often throughout the year instead of 2-3 bulk chunks of 13 episodes.
- That being said, I do find it interesting to pair Punisher up with a PTSD guy. But it feels so much like a detour with this senator's introduction coming in so late.
- A guy like Castle would never be vindicated in the real world. Too many conspiracies for and against him, despite how we know he's the good guy (albeit flawed).
- Anvil is such a cool word.
- Great scene with the bomb in the kitchen. One of the best this whole season.

Episode 11 - "Danger Close"

- Forgot about Mastrantonio. I thought she would amount to more by now.
- Home Alone?
- LOL that's not a hand grenade, that's a head grenade.

Episode 12 - "Home"

- Micro better not be dead. That was one of the things I hated about Punisher: War Zone. If they make the same mistake twice, I'll be pissed.
- Woo! Alright. Good.
- Does Frank go to the dentist to fix that missing tooth, or does he just staple it back in or something?
- I hope Maria doesn't call him sleepy head when they're having sex. They're in the bed, after all.
- I really thought this would be the episode where Billy gets disfigured.

Episode 13 - "Memento Mori"

- Ever notice how in movies, whenever someone takes a bullet out, they always drop it onto a metallic surface that makes a satisfying tack-clank sound? I love that.
- I wonder what the body count for this show is.
- Well I guess I was officially wrong about Rafi and James being evil. They're just conflicted bureaucrats rather than legitimate "villains" of the normal sense.
- Haha Sarah needs it. Remember, he's supposed to be hung like a horse.
- I hope Carl lasts longer than Micro.
- There's one hole for Jigsaw's face.
- Well Dinah's not dead, that's for sure.
- A little closer to Jigsaw with every face smash into that mirror.
- I'm still not buying that she's dead.
- And she's not.
- I like the somber ending. It fits.

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous Reviewpoint podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of Justice League.

What were the positives and negatives of Justice League? Did it live up to the hype or was it a disappointment?

Check out the podcast below on YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher. Make sure to subscribe and tell us your thoughts on Justice League in the comments below!

Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's (Henry Cavill) selfless act, Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes -- Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.

The first trailer to what has proven to be one of the funniest MCU movie series of all time (to date, of course) was built around Blue Suede's 1974 cover of Mark James' "Hooked on a Feeling", first released in 1968.

The song was featured on the "Awesome Mixtape" the protagonist, Peter Quill, receives from his mother upon her death—a cassette tape that is on his person when he is abducted by aliens on the night she passes away. This is one of the reasons why this Guardians of the Galaxy 2 death is so important: it gives us, the viewers, the opportunity to take a peek into who Meredith Quill actually was - through her musical tastes. And it tells us a story, too, that's not revealed until the second volume of the Peter Quill saga. Just look at the titles of the songs:

• Hooked on a Feeling (falling for Ego)
• Go All the Way
• Spirit in the Sky (Ego, obviously)
• Moonage Daydream, in which David Bowie says he is a space invader
• Fooled Around and Fell in Love
• I'm Not in Love
• I Want You Back (these two songs hint on inevitable relationship issues - they may or may not be revealed later)
• Come and Get Your Love
• Cherry Bomb (I'm the fox you've been waiting for)
• Escape (possibly referring to Ego leaving)
• O-o-oh Child (We'll get it together and we'll get it all done)
• Ain't No Mountain High Enough ("If you need me call me no matter where you are", giving us a hint that Star-Lord will become a hero in the end)

The second Awesome Mixtape also contains quite a few songs that fit perfectly into the story of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Once again, take a look at the track listing: ELO's "Mr. Blue Sky" is possibly a reference to Ego (or maybe to Yondu, considering the color), Cat Stevens' "Father and Son" is obvious, and the list could go on forever.

While it often seems nothing but a backdrop for the things happening on-screen, music - or rather the value of music in the eyes of the protagonist - has an important part in the second Guardians of the Galaxy movie, too. If at first, we all think of Yondu as a character that exploited young Peter instead of delivering him to his father, in the end, he proves to be much more: an affectionate person and a surrogate father for the small, skinny earthling.

The final gift he gives to Star-Lord is symbolic in this aspect. If the last gift he received from his dying mother was the second Awesome Mixtape, the parting gift he got from his surrogate father (who has proven that he loved him more than his true one) was the third, a Zune filled with 300 tracks. At the same time, we witness the destruction of Peter's beloved Walkman, which is once again symbolic. By taking revenge on Ego, Star-Lord can finally let go of the memory of his late mother and start something new. In a deleted scene, Traffic and Alice Cooper are mentioned, so maybe we can expect some more recent and "wilder" songs to make it in the third installment of the series as reflective of the difference between his mother's softer side and his surrogate father's more rebellious edge.

James Gunn has recently tweeted the following about the upcoming third installment's soundtrack:

I have it down to 181 songs. That list could get longer. https://t.co/byRjdfSa07

— James Gunn (@JamesGunn) July 2, 2017

That's a lot of music to be crammed into a single movie, don't you think?

What songs are you interested in seeing shape the way Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 is constructed? Tell us your mixtape suggestions in the comments section below!

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous Reviewpoint podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of Thor: Ragnarok.

What were the positives and negatives of Thor: Ragnarok? Did it live up to the hype or was it a disappointment?

Check out the podcast below on YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher. Make sure to subscribe and tell us your thoughts on Thor: Ragnarok in the comments below!

Imprisoned on the other side of the universe, the mighty Thor finds himself in a deadly gladiatorial contest that pits him against the Hulk, his former ally and fellow Avenger. Thor's quest for survival leads him in a race against time to prevent the all-powerful Hela from destroying his home world and the Asgardian civilization.

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in November 2017?

Thor: Ragnarok

Synopsis: Imprisoned, the mighty Thor finds himself in a lethal gladiatorial contest against the Hulk, his former ally. Thor must fight for survival and race against time to prevent the all-powerful Hela from destroying his home and the Asgardian civilization.

Will I watch? = Yes

A Bad Moms Christmas

Synopsis: A Bad Moms Christmas follows our three under-appreciated and over- burdened women as they rebel against the challenges and expectations of the Super Bowl for moms: Christmas.

Will I watch? = No

Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Synopsis: Denzel Washington stars as Roman Israel, a driven, idealistic defense attorney who, through a tumultuous series of events, finds himself in a crisis that leads to extreme action.

Will I watch? = No

Last Flag Flying

Synopsis: Thirty years after they served together in Vietnam, a former Navy Corpsman Larry "Doc" Shepherd re-unites with his old buddies, former Marines Sal Nealon and Reverend Richard Mueller, to bury his son, a young Marine killed in the Iraq War.

Will I watch? = No

Lady Bird

Synopsis: The adventures of a young woman living in Northern California for a year.

Will I watch? = No

Ittefaq

Synopsis: A police officer is investigating a double murder case that has only two witnesses who are also the prime suspects. The suspects - Vikram, an acclaimed writer, and Maya, a young homemaker, have different narratives about the events of that fateful night.

Will I watch? = No

Blade of the Immortal

Synopsis: Manji, a highly skilled samurai, becomes cursed with immortality after a legendary battle. Haunted by the brutal murder of his sister, Manji knows that only fighting evil will regain his soul. He promises to help a young girl named Rin avenge her parents, who were killed by a group of master swordsmen led by ruthless warrior Anotsu. The mission will change Manji in ways he could never imagine - the 100th film by master director Takashi Miike.

Will I watch? = No

My Friend Dahmer

Synopsis: Before Jeffrey Dahmer became a notorious serial killer, he was a shy, alcoholic teen who never quite fit in. Based on the acclaimed graphic novel by Derf Backderf, this is the true, haunting story of Jeffrey Dahmer in high school.

Will I watch? = Maybe

LBJ

Synopsis: The story of U.S. President Lyndon Baines Johnson from his young days in West Texas to the White House.

Will I watch? = No


Murder on the Orient Express

Synopsis: A lavish train ride unfolds into a stylish & suspenseful mystery. From the novel by Agatha Christie, Murder on the Orient Express tells of thirteen stranded strangers & one man's race to solve the puzzle before the murderer strikes again.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Daddy's Home 2

Synopsis: Brad and Dusty must deal with their intrusive fathers during the holidays.

Will I watch? = No

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Synopsis: In this darkly comic drama, a mother personally challenges the local authorities to solve her daughter's murder, when they fail to catch the culprit.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Thelma

Synopsis: A woman begins to fall in love, only to discover that she has fantastic powers.

Will I watch? = Maybe


Justice League

Synopsis: Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists the help of his newfound ally, Diana Prince, to face an even greater enemy.

Will I watch? = Yes

Wonder

Synopsis: Based on the New York Times bestseller, WONDER tells the incredibly inspiring and heartwarming story of August Pullman, a boy with facial differences who enters fifth grade, attending a mainstream elementary school for the first time.

Will I watch? = No

The Star

Synopsis: A small but brave donkey and his animal friends become the unsung heroes of the first Christmas.

Will I watch? = No

I Love You, Daddy

Synopsis: When a successful television writer's daughter becomes the interest of an aging filmmaker with an appalling past, he becomes worried on how to handle the situation.

Will I watch? = No


Coco

Synopsis: Aspiring musician Miguel teams up with charming trickster Hector on an extraordinary journey through the Land of the Dead.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Darkest Hour

Synopsis: During the early days of World War II, the fate of Western Europe hangs on the newly-appointed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who must decide whether to negotiate with Hitler, or fight on against incredible odds.

Will I watch? = No

Polaroid

Synopsis: High school loner Bird Fitcher has no idea what dark secrets are tied to the mysterious Polaroid vintage camera she stumbles upon, but it doesn't take long to discover that those who have their picture taken meet a tragic end.

Will I watch? = No

Call Me by Your Name

Synopsis: In 1983, the son of an American professor is enamored by the graduate student who comes to study and live with his family in their northern Italian home. Together, they share an unforgettable summer full of music, food, and romance that will forever change them.

Will I watch? = No

The Man Who Invented Christmas

Synopsis: The journey that led to Charles Dickens' creation of "A Christmas Carol," a timeless tale that would redefine the holiday.

Will I watch? = No

Chappaquiddick

Synopsis: Ted Kennedy's life and political career become derailed in the aftermath of a fatal car accident in 1969 that claims the life of a young campaign strategist, Mary Jo Kopechne.

Will I watch? = Maybe


Which films make the cut?

6. Coco — This looks more like a Dreamworks type film and not up to the regular Pixar quality, but because it's Pixar, it edges out the others that don't quite make the list, like Wonder and Three Billboards and Chappaquiddick.

5. My Friend Dahmer — I don't know too much about Dahmer, but this trailer kept my interest enough to make me curious about what he was like before what we regularly do know about him, so why not?

4. Thelma — Interesting song for the trailer, someone acquiring powers...okay, this could be a Movie Pass type deal for sure.

3. Murder on the Orient Express — Now we're in the films that I can actually see myself watching in theaters. I had read the book many, many years ago (we're talking like 15+...holy shit I feel old) and I enjoyed it at the time, so there's no reason why I shouldn't want to see a movie adaptation that has such a great cast like this.

2. Thor: Ragnarok — Bought my tickets weeks upon weeks ago. You shouldn't be shocked at all.

1. Justice League — Excuse me, it's fucking Batman. Of course this is #1. I still maintain that Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (at least the Ultimate Edition) is fucking awesome, so even though I have my doubts about this being as good as Marvel's The Avengers, it's still one of my most anticipated films of the entire year, behind The Last Jedi.

It's October 30th, which means two things: tomorrow is Halloween and DC's superhero mashup film Justice League is set to hit theaters in just over two weeks on November 16th.

With those in mind, along with having a girlfriend who just happens to look amazing in a Catwoman outfit, I knew for sure that yours truly needed to pick up a Batman costume for this year's Halloween party, and that's where Halloween Costumes came to the rescue.

The sponsors of our recent giveaway contest were kind enough to hook me up with one of their deluxe Justice League Batman costumes—my personal choice out of their variety of Justice League and Batman costumes as I wanted to be as timely as possible to capitalize on the hype of the upcoming movie.

A wise man once said, “Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman. Then be Batman.” We think it might have been Voltaire…

Being Batman is hard work. It requires billions of dollars in your checking account, a giant mansion that’s built on top of a cave that can be used as a base of operations and many years of martial arts training. You also need a butler, an acrobat sidekick with the same passion for justice that you have and a really cool car.

Well, chances are pretty good that you’re not a socialite with a tragic backstory and a multi-billion dollar bankroll, so being Batman might not always be easy. The good news is that we can help you be Batman! Just wear this Deluxe Tactical Batman costume, which is based on the Justice League movie, and you’ll be halfway there to becoming the iconic DC hero.

This adult Batman costume comes with everything you need to start your transformation into Bruce Wayne’s alter ego. It comes with a full jumpsuit that has muscle padding in the chest and arms, along with printed armor detailing. Attached boot covers and gauntlets help complete the look, making you look like a fully outfitted superhero with a hefty bankroll! Of course, it also comes with a belt and cape, as well as a Batman mask to hide your secret identity from the likes of The Joker and his goons. The only thing you’ll need to “be Batman” is some deadly gadgets and a lifetime of martial arts training. You’d better start working on both of those details while you wait for the costume to arrive at your doorstep!

• Justice League Adult Deluxe Tactical Batman Costume
• 100% polyester
• Jumpsuit has printed details and hook and loop fasteners in back
• Jumpsuit has padded chest and shoulders sculpted to look like muscles
• Cape made of lightweight fabric
• Cape is fastened securely to shoulders with hook and loop fasteners
• Belt has printed details
• Latex mask has elastic band to hold it securely
• Officially licensed
• Jumpsuit has attached boot covers

If you've followed Fanboys Anonymous for a while, you know by now that not only am I a massive Batman fan (favorite superhero ever), I'm also an apologist for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice as I think the movie was just a few elements short of being perfect (ie, recast Lex Luthor and watch the Ultimate Edition and you've got an amazing movie).

What you may not know is that I've dressed as Batman numerous times throughout my Halloween experience and I was even that kid that used to wear the Batman cape and cowl around the house despite it being April and way past when I should have kept suiting up. I was adorable, and I was the night. Trust me.

Anyway, this Justice League variation was certainly a hit with my buddies and a great means to capitalize on a couples costume and fandom at the same time.



If you're trying to sort out a last minute costume or you want to get a heads up on next year, or you just want to buy a Batman costume because you're excited for the movie—whatever the case may be—make sure you check out Halloween Costumes and browse their site to check out not just their Dark Knight selection, but all the other things available, since you can pretty much find anything you're looking for.

Also, remember to check back here for a review of Justice League when the film comes out, and if you have any good stories or want to show off your Halloween costume from this year, drop a comment below!

Welcome to another edition of Fanboys Fix It, where instead of just complaining about what we don't like about something, we try to figure out how we can make it better.

With Spider-Man: Homecoming out on Blu-Ray, I had a chance to rewatch it for the first time since seeing it in theaters. Overall, I was a huge fan of the movie and there were only a couple of things that annoyed me, so on my rewatch, I was curious to see if those few errors were more or less annoying than before.

They were the same—shocking—but that prompted me to give a rewrite a crack to fix these problems in what is mostly a 90% perfect movie for what they were going for.

I love nearly everything about this film, from the inclusion of Damage Control, the references to Aaron Davis and multiple Shocker identities, having The Tinkerer and even down to the comedic tone.

So with that being the framework, keep in mind that my goal here is always to change as little as possible to make the movie as great as possible, so it isn't a complete rehaul of every idea, which is why you won't see a full-on fan fiction script below.

With that being said, what are the problems I do think are present with Spider-Man: Homecoming?

Core Problem #1: The Multitude of Michelle and Liz Problems

These are somewhat tied together with many facets to unpack...

MJ Instead of MG

First things first, no, Michelle is not Mary Jane. Don't try to be cutesy by calling her MJ. You can't just strip absolutely everything from a character, at the last second call them that character's nickname, and have that be okay. Didn't these people watch what happened with The Dark Knight Rises trying to pass off John Blake as Robin, which just pissed people off in all ways?

The representatives of Mary Jane Watson are pretty standard: she is a Caucasian girl roughly around Peter's age with red hair who is out of his league beautiful and eventually the love of his life. Sometimes, you can play around with the specifics like whether or not they grew up together, if she's sassier or sweeter, etc.

There was some backlash about the casting of Zendaya when it comes to her race. Admittedly, I wasn't a fan of it, as I didn't see the reason to necessarily change this (even though I'm all for doing that with certain characters, a la Samuel L. Jackson's Nick Fury is infinitely better than the other incarnation and I prefer my Iris and Wally West to be black as well, and Tilda Swinton was a great Ancient One, and Heimdall is an improvement, and so on and so forth). My issue was more so that she doesn't have any of Mary Jane's traits because even though Zendaya is attractive, they downplay that entirely and make her a creepy SJW loner type with no friends who looks like she barely mustered up the energy to roll out of bed in the morning and throw on yesterday's sweats, rather than some bombshell that she could have easily pulled off. She's a completely different character in every possible way, so just let her be a different character.

Also, if you're going to go with the Michelle name, why is she Michelle Jones? Why isn't she Michele Gonzales? Michele is a character from the comics and a love interest that could have been explored that we haven't seen in the films yet, like Carlie Cooper. Or, perhaps, if you don't want to have her be a love interest, you could have made that character more of a lesser entity and still referenced previous material by casting a Middle Eastern girl and making her Indira Daimonji, who would make perfect sense being that type of friend to Peter in that circle of friends. For that matter, if you wanted to, you could have made that character Debra Whitman, too, but I get the attempt at diversity, so I'll bypass Whitman as she's typically just another white blonde girl and that should be reserved for Gwen Stacy.

So for now, let's just move forward with this in mind: Michelle Jones is not MJ in this script. Instead, she is Michele Gonzales, and there's nothing at all referencing Mary Jane Watson whatsoever.

Liz Isn't Liz

Liz is absolutely nothing like she's typically presented, either, and that extends once more to a difference in both appearance as well as characteristics.

As far as the race change goes, I'm okay with that. Spider-Man's series was really generic in how his love interests for the longest time were solely white girls, so hey, the way I see it, leave Mary Jane and Gwen alone and you can alter the rest if you want. If you want to make Betty Brant Asian, I'm all for it, although I also think it's dumb that we have Betty Brant and Glory Grant, but that's another whole issue.

Liz, to me, is almost always a bitchy type. She and Sally Avril and others are best utilized as a pain in the ass "popular cheerleader stereotype" kind of character. If you wanted to go with someone with the traits of Liz in this film, you could have swapped her name out for Indira or Debra, who are much more academic.

The Vulture's Daughter

This absolutely had to have been a Sony note, since we know for the longest time, they wanted Spider-Man 4 with Sam Raimi to be about Vulture and his daughter, who would have been either Black Cat or something called Vulturess.

Clearly, they wanted to do this very, very badly. We've seen this type of mentality by studios before with how they're getting their Venom spinoff film, or how for years, the Terminator franchise kept toying with the idea of turning John Connor into a Terminator only to go ahead and do that for Terminator Genisys, which was awful.

I don't absolutely 100% hate the idea of Vulture having a daughter that has ties to Peter Parker, but I hate how it was shoehorned in there. It didn't need to happen, and it even less so needed to be Liz Allen of all people.

Her name in the movie is actually Liz Toomes, making her even less of Liz Allen, and just a random ass character they created. Meanwhile, there actually IS a daughter for Vulture elsewhere, named Valeria Toomes....so if she doesn't act like Liz and isn't named Liz, why isn't she Valeria????

With that in mind, let's correct the problem in one of three ways:

Solution #1 = Valeria Toomes

Instead of Liz Allen being Liz Toomes, you just have Valeria Toomes and Michele Gonzales be these two girls.

Valeria is whatever you want her to be. She's popular, she's bitchy, she's nice, she's smart, it doesn't matter. She's there just to be an object of Peter's affection and a motivational tool for he and Vulture anyway in the film.

Once Vulture is sent to jail, Valeria and her mom move, just like what happens in this film.

Peter, the whole time, has been focused on Valeria and has been ignoring Michele, but hey, there are sequels to come, so maybe those two kids will totally hit it off now that Valeria is out of the way and we clearly don't have Gwen or MJ to step in.

Solution #2 = Merge Them

Vulture is the stepfather to Michele Gonzalez. There is no Valeria/Liz. She doesn't move when he's arrested. You explain her erratic behavior by having her grow up with a guy that is a criminal.

The end...but with more of an explanation with solution #3....

Solution #3 = Switcharoo

Liz Allen, played by someone who is closer to Tom Holland's age, and named Liz Allen instead of Liz Toomes, is a completely different character in the film. She's the super hot popular queen of the land that is actually really bitchy, but Peter is transfixed by her and doesn't see this. All the meanwhile, he's been ignoring this girl Michele Gonzales who is a little eccentric, but much nicer to him, and who might have a crush on Peter.

Instead of getting to go to the dance with Liz, Peter "settles" for going with Ned and Michele as a "group stag" type deal as friends.

This is when we get the reveal that Vulture is Michele's stepfather, which explains why she's so goddamn weird, and suddenly, the girl in the background of the film is now so much more important, which is a better reveal.

At the end of the movie, Toomes gets sent to prison, but he has a decent relationship with Peter who not only saved his life, but also Michele's, and he also kind of commends him for befriending her even though she's an oddball. She doesn't move. She stays in New York, but now she has a better support system in Ned and Peter.

Liz, on the other hand, continues being her bitchy self and the difference isn't in her character, but in how Peter views her character. It's a lesson in how these types of people in high school sometimes turn out to never change and you don't need to deal with them the rest of your life, which is a lesson very rarely taught in movies even though it's truthful (although in my school experience, we didn't really have stereotypical jocks and cheerleaders like that, so....)

Oh. Also, Michele in any incarnation has a brother, Vin, who can either be seen having issues with Peter when he comes to pick her up for the dance or there can just be a passing reference to her saying that Vin doesn't like Peter. No biggie, just fan service and continuity.

Core Problem #2: Normal School / Characters

This idea of Peter being in a gifted school makes sense to a certain degree, but it also flies in the face of a lot of what is tantamount to the Peter Parker story.

One of the most fundamental concepts of the Spider-Man franchise is that Peter is a guy that has horrible luck and is never given the credit he deserves. He struggles in every aspect, but he still manages to find a way to be optimistic for the future and spread some laughs.

The kid loses his parents, then loses his uncle due to a decision he makes, fights crime and gets called a menace, is always struggling for money, is always criticized for being a bad friend when he's the total opposite, etc. "Brilliant but lazy" despite that being as far away from the truth as possible, for instance.

Why is he in a school filled with his peers when he should be an outsider who isn't given the chance to succeed?

Peter should be in a regular high school with a regular Flash Thompson who is totally not Tony Revolori, but more of the ilk of, I don't know, every other incarnation of the character ever, where he's a bit of a meathead jock who picks on him but eventually grows to respect him, rather than some intellectual rival?

Nitpick: Flash should throw the party, not Liz/Valeria/Michele. Flash doesn't want Peter there, and only agrees to let him come if he can produce Spider-Man to make an appearance. When he doesn't, Flash calls him a loser and voila.

These teachers in the normal school should have more references to the comic book characters as well. Just browse the bible and you'll see tons of teachers he's had in various media and insert their names instead of making up even more random ones.

For that matter, include more of those side characters that you don't have to do much with, but just round out the supporting crew. Jason Ionello popping up made me go "hmmm wow", so let's see Sally Avril and Seymour O'Reilly and Kenny Kong and Robbie Robertson and whatnot all hanging out. Nobody gives a shit who Brian "Tiny" McKeever really is, but why not allude to him by having a real quick cameo of someone as a hall monitor and then credit them as the character? It doesn't take much! Maybe instead of Betty Brant being the girl working on the news program, it's Danika Hart, too, since that's more up her alley.

Also, what's up with this weird amalgamation of Edward "Ned" Leeds and Ganke Lee? If you're going to do that, give us some supplemental material that turns into the skid by naming him Edward Ganke Lee, aka Ned.

For that matter, Harry Osborn should have at least been a contact on Peter's phone as an Easter egg. You didn't need to make him a full character in this film, but he needs to be someone in Peter's life.

Miscellaneous Extra Flaws & Nitpicking

Basically, those big problems above are the things that would have saved this movie and made it better as a whole, but there are smaller things that could have been changed as well. I'm obviously not going to nitpick every little detail, but a few things that stand out to me are as follows:

1. No Daily Bugle? –Like, at all??? Not even in the background?
2. No Netflix References? – Marvel's film and television sides clearly have issues with each other, but it isn't hard at all to throw each other a bone. One line of dialogue will make fans go crazy if you have Peter nervously say something about "the devil guy in Hell's Kitchen" or how he's not some public persona like Luke Cage. They live in the same city. Reference something.
3. Karen – The voice of the suit, nicknamed Karen, should be a reference to something in the comics, perhaps Madame Web instead.
4. Avengers Tower – If this is being sold, it better be a conversion into the Baxter Building. If not, I'm going to be pissed.
5. Washington Monument – This whole set piece felt like a contrived way to have a "save people" action scene at that point in the movie. It's out of place and it seems weird that more people can't connect the dots to Peter being Spider-Man. The decathlon should be closer to New York, perhaps upstate, to make it more convenient and easier and realistic.
6. Timeline – Lots of confusion about when this film takes place. To avoid that, just say "present day" and "The Battle of New York" instead of giving out specific years.
7. Spidey Sense - Um...where are you?

Well, there you have it—some insight into how I would have changed things in hindsight if I was magically given me the ability to do so. I might go back and edit this when the film comes out on Blu-Ray and I get a chance to watch it again (if I even want to rewatch it, that is) and either find out that my opinions have changed for the better or for the worse. Maybe I'll add things, maybe I'll tweak the current things, or maybe I'll see that I missed some details that justify the nitpicks and I'll remove them, but we'll have to see about that.

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