|Who needs pants in the apocalypse, I ask?|
It was a painful experience for me to have grown up shitting my infant trousers watching 1984's Terminator, going on to read every single issue released by Dark Horse Comics, proclaim Terminator 2 as one of the best films of all time next to Aliens and Robocop, only to see Arnie jump back in a decade later without Cameron and essential co-star Linda Hamilton and looking old and wrinkly like a condom stuffed with walnuts.
|"AHL BE... ummm... I'll be in my office.!|
It was never going to be a Terminator movie without Arnie. I say that as a purist and as someone who knows that the current generation of kids will never know the terror and awesomeness that Schwarzenegger brought to the role of the Cyberdine Systems model 101 back in the day. Hell, they'll never have a movie icon and an action star like Arnie ever again.
Terminator 5, also being dubbed Terminator version 2.0, is being pitched as a reboot and, at the same time, a sequel. Whether that means it will move forward from Judgment Day as though none of the other hoo-ha happened or will just reboot the whole damned thing, is beyond me. What we do know is that producers are already bold enough to pitch this as a trilogy—which is brave in today's climate of economic downturns and people hating the crap out of remakes and reboots.
The first installment will be directed by Thor 2 and Game of Thrones helmsman Alan Taylor, because what a Terminator reboot needs is space vikings and sword fights. The role of Sarah Connor is now said to be in a toss-up between frauleins Emilia Clarke (oh look, Game of Thrones) and Brie Larson (Don Jon). Its release date is set for the summer of 2015, which gives me plenty of time to look in on developments and take back every insult I've so far thrown at its shiny chrome head.
|"Hey! Cyborgs have feelings too... Pretty, and Witty, and Genocidal!"|
|Goddammit, I want it to be like THIS!|