Fanboys Anonymous

Major Problems of Suicide Squad (Fanboys Fix It)

Posted by Anthony Mango - Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Welcome to the sixth edition of Fanboys Fix It, where we address the problems a certain movie has and try to figure out ways to make it better in hindsight.

To coincide with the release of the Extended Edition of Suicide Squad, I sat down to rewatch the film and see if the problems I had with it from before were fixed. They weren't. I don't think a single one of them was corrected, so since we've done a Fanboys Fix It for both Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, it seemed like a good idea to point our pencils in this movie's direction and start erasing and rewriting the mistakes.

With that being said, how do you fix Suicide Squad?

Fanboys Fix Suicide Squad Movies Problems

Core Problem #1: The Villains

Enchantress and her brother, who I don't even think has a name, was a terrible choice to go with for the adversarial element. It's one of the universal things people dislike about the movie, along with the editing, which I would devote an entire section to but can be summed up mostly by saying "it sucks and the studio clearly messed around too much". The weird dancing twitches are made fun of, not creepy. The magic power base is such an alien concept to audiences fresh in this franchise that it can seem stupid to people who haven't invested in it yet, which is why Marvel played it smart by starting off simple and then building up to that. DC refused to play patiently and rushed, so by doing so, they're making people take leaps of faith.

In a film where lots of bad guys need to be killed, you can't have normal humans being shot up the whole time, so I get why they'd want to have some kind of faceless enemy that can be chopped to bits without getting an NC-17 rating, but they had no personality whatsoever and neither did Enchantress or her brother. And if you want to talk about tired tropes, why did they have the generic blue beam of light in the sky like so many other stories have had? This "swirling ring of trash in the sky" as they refer to it doesn't seem to be any different from any other similar concept: the Space Stone in The Avengers, the Technodrome in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows and so forth. All it does is floats debris in a circle above a building and then act like any energy pulse.

Instead, they should have gone with OMAC as the villain with Brother Eye. The story could be that in the absence and response of Superman's presence, different sectors of the government are looking to find an answer for how to deal with metahuman threats. One section, led by Buddy Blank (or possibly Maxwell Lord, or better yet, even have Lex Luthor be someone who is involved in the mix) wants to create the One Man Army Corps as a means to create super soldiers. Instead, they go the cyborg route with the Observational Metahuman Activity Construct. Brother Eye is a satellite that will spy on people while these cyborgs will help police those threats. Bruce Wayne can be looking into it because he sees it as a threat. Amanda Waller agrees that they need some kind of military response unit, but she opts to keep control in her own hands with Task Force X. When OMAC goes out of whack, Task Force X has to swoop in to save the day and cover the government's asses, meaning a lot of the same type of film can play out but you've just changed some important details around.

No longer do you need to get into magical backstories, since this is all just computers, which is easier to explain. Hell, you can even have a big payoff at the end where OMAC's cybernetics can be worked into the explosive nanites implanted in the Suicide Squad!

Core Problem #2: The Style

Some of the choices made for the style of this film are absolutely fantastic, but a ton of others are tiresome, lame, overbearing and just self-indulgent.

Why do I get the feeling there was a decree to try to make everybody fit into either hood/urban or grunge stereotypes instead of everybody having their own unique identity? I'm totally cool with that being used with Diablo, but I hate how they turned Killer Croc into a guy in a hoodie who says "bruh" and "shawty" and his only request is for BET. That just comes off uncomfortably stereotypical.

And what's with the tattoos? Why do The Joker and Harley Quinn have them? First off, I'm not a fan of them because they didn't have them in any other source material. Second, I'm not a fan of tattoos to begin with. Third, to hearken back to the previous point, it seems like they thought "tattoos = bad people" which is another stereotype. Finally, it pigeonholes their look for future movies. Now, if The Joker doesn't always have those same tattoos, how are they going to explain the lack of "damaged" on his forehead and whatnot? It's a choice they made where they thought it would look cool rather than if it would serve the functionality of the universe they're playing in.

Another thing with Harley Quinn's appearance is her costume. As much as I love seeing Margot Robbie in as little clothing as possible, her outfit is just ridiculous. Yes, she's supposed to be sexy, as that's one of the staples of her character, but did she need to be dressed in a way that didn't try to mask that at all? She should have been wearing something closer to her Arkham City look where it covers her up a bit more but also can still turn heads.

Core Problem #3: The Music / The Humor

Piggybacking off the style problem, the same thing can apply to some of the humor in the film. The pink unicorn fetish joke screams of people that thought they'd get the leg-up on Deadpool which works for that series, but not anything else. It's such an easy, middle school level joke, similar to when people think its funny if an old person makes out with a young person or if a gross fat guy rubs up against someone on a bus.

But the bigger problem with the humor is the music, which needed to be toned down considerably. It's obnoxious in how much the film praises itself for its soundtrack. Just as they probably thought they'd throw in some Deadpool-esque jokes with the pink unicorn, I get the distinct feeling this is a full-on attempt to replicate the musical punches of Guardians of the Galaxy.

The repetitiveness of how the music is used is what is the most bothersome part about it, too. It's literally the same joke every single time: a scene where someone bad is doing something violent and it's set to a happy song that wouldn't normally go in that environment. It's a painful attempt to be hip and to juxtapose two different forces that would take audiences by surprise when they hear it, but by the time the opening scene is finished, you've seen the joke maybe six times and it keeps happening, so it loses all its edge.

Core Problem #4: Underutilized Characters

"Hey everybody, here's Katana. She's in the movie, too. Say hello."

That's basically what we get from Katana, outside of a few sword slashes. You couldn't have done a better job introducing her and making her seem like a worthwhile character? If you had no means of accomplishing that in the script, why not just save her character for the Birds of Prey film that is rumored to happen where she could maybe be given the proper treatment she deserves?

Let's talk about Slipknot, too. He similarly just comes into the mix out of nowhere and after having seen the film twice now, I still don't know if he has more than one line of dialogue. He definitely exists just to have his head blown off to show that it isn't an empty threat, but could you at least have attempted to not make it obvious that he was a sacrificial lamb? Audiences are smart enough now to know that the person who will most likely die is the one that hasn't had any importance placed on them and that was extremely poorly done.

Also, I would have enjoyed seeing someone like General Wade Eiling in the mix of the military supervisors and a recasting of Scott Eastwood's GQ character, as I think he accomplished nothing and that ended up being a waste of Eastwood, who could have been saved for a different role in a future DC film.

Miscellaneous Extra Flaws & Nitpicking

Basically, those big problems above are the things that would have saved these movies and made them better as a whole, but there are smaller things that could have been changed as well. I'm obviously not going to nitpick every little detail, but a few things that stand out to me are as follows:

  1. Recast Rick Flag – Originally, Tom Hardy was going to be Colonel Flag, but I don't think he would have been great for the part, either. Joel Kinnaman wasn't bad so much as he wasn't good. That's probably half a matter of his part being written poorly and half a lack of preparation since he signed onto the film much later than ideal. I like my Rick Flag to be basically Captain America without the likability and this version just came off like your average southern military jackoff. At no point did I really root for the guy or his contrived romance with June Moon, but I also never reached a point where I believed that he was someone who was that great to be in that position of power as a leader for the team. Maybe Adam Baldwin? Maybe Kevin McKidd? Someone who could evoke a young Ed Harris would be great, where you just hate the guy but you respect that he could get things done.
  2. Take the "Will Smith" out of Deadshot – Will Smith is great, and I'm glad they cast him as Deadshot, but there are times where he's clearly playing Will Smith tropes rather than the Deadshot character. Those times, he should've been reigned in.
  3. Mallet > Bat – Harley should have used her standard mallet instead of a baseball bat.
  4. Capture the Flag - Two times in the film, some creatures start dragging Flag away and they have to save him. Did you need to do that beat twice?
  5. Killer Croc Looks Fake - Killer Croc's makeup, the way his face moves when he speaks, and any CGI they might have implemented all look off. None of it seems natural. It all looks reminiscent of Michael Chiklis as The Thing in Fantastic Four.

Well, there you have it—some insight into how I would have changed things in hindsight if I was magically given me the ability to do so. Some of these problems just cannot be fixed anymore, while others can hopefully be elaborated on in Suicide Squad and future films to help explain why we're left in the dark about so much information.

What do you think of the changes that I would have made?
Do they make the movie better or worse?
What changes would you make?
Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 Trailer #2 Reaction Video & First Impressions

Posted by Anthony Mango - Sunday, December 4, 2016

On the latest edition of Trailer Reactions for Fanboys Anonymous, host Tony Mango gives his live response and overall thoughts about the latest trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 released earlier today. Make sure to subscribe and tell us in the comments what you think of the trailer!

OFFICIAL TRAILER:



TRAILER REACTION:



Set to the backdrop of 'Awesome Mixtape #2,' Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 continues the team's adventures as they traverse the outer reaches of the cosmos. The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill's true parentage. Old foes become new allies and fan-favorite characters from the classic comics will come to our heroes' aid as the Marvel cinematic universe continues to expand.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 will be released in theaters May 5, 2017.

Directed by: James Gunn
Written by: James Gunn (based on the Marvel comic book by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning)
Starring: Chris Pratt (Peter Quill / Star Lord), Zoe Saldana (Gamora), Karen Gillan (Nebula), Dave Bautista (Drax), Vin Diesel (Groot), Bradley Cooper (Rocket), Elizabeth Debicki (Ayesha), Chris Sullivan (Taserface), Michael Rooker (Yondu), Glenn Close (Nova Prime) and Kurt Russell (Ego)

reaction to trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

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Major Problems of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Fanboys Fix It)

Posted by Anthony Mango - Saturday, December 3, 2016

Welcome to the fifth edition of Fanboys Fix It, where we address the problems a certain movie has and try to figure out ways to make it better in hindsight.

With the release of the Extended Cut of Suicide Squad out now, I thought it would be fun to look back on Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice now that some months have passed and both films can be viewed with clearer eyes. I'll be doing a Fanboys Fix It for Suicide Squad once I rewatch that movie, but first, we have to backtrack to the film that preceded it as we've already done an edition for Man of Steel.

For those who haven't seen my previous reviews of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, I'm actually a big fan of this film. Sure, there are flaws we'll be talking about here, but I feel like it gets significantly more flack than it deserves. It had a gargantuan task and on the list of 100 things it needed to accomplish, I think they knocked 80 of them out of the park once you view the Ultimate Edition, as that was an immense improvement on the theatrical cut.

With that being said, how do you fix Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice?

Fanboys Fix Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice Movies Problems

Core Problem #1: Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor

This was just a terrible idea. There's nothing redeemable about his performance and that's not to blame things wholly on Eisenberg, because he can be a great actor when he's given the right material and the right direction. Unfortunately for him, he was wrongly cast in a part that was written wrong. Lex Luthor is supposed to be charismatic and not twitchy. He's supposed to be bald, yet for some reason every goddamn movie wants to make him wear a wig or have hair, which I'm convinced now is entirely due to actors not wanting to shave their heads or be put in a bald cap, which is ridiculous. Lex is also supposed to be a physically fit guy who everyone should be envious of because he seems to have it all—good looks, money, fame, intelligence, charm, etc. He shouldn't be a nervous schizophrenic wimp who looks like a trust fund douchebag better suited to run a TMZ-style blog than a multi-billion dollar enterprise. Basically, Lex should have been the exact mirror image of Bruce Wayne, but with a more likable persona on the outside and no hair. That way, they could reflect each other where Bruce appears to be a playboy jerk but has a heart of gold and Lex seems to be the more trustworthy but is evil inside.

Rewriting the character is the biggest problem, but in doing so, you also have to recast the part, as Jesse Eisenberg just doesn't fit that appearance. He would have been a great Jimmy Olsen, but he's no Luthor. I know a lot of people thought Bryan Cranston would be great, but he's too old for it. Lex should be roughly the same age as Clark and Bruce, so you'd have to go for someone between 35-45. Some names I think would have fit perfectly for the role are Bradley Cooper, Jude Law, or maybe Jon Hamm.

Core Problem #2: Editing and Pacing

For a little bit, there was a rumor going around that this could have been split up into two films entitled "Batman v Superman: Enter the Knight" and "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice". While I don't like those titles, I do think if they added just a little bit more to the story and reworked a few angles, they could have gotten two films out of this, and it would have been interesting to see them released 6 months apart. Even if that wasn't the case, I think the Ultimate Edition proves that the theatrical cut was hacked to pieces and it made everything feel off.

At times, it's slow, but it also seems like those slower moments need to go on longer to allow them more room to breathe. It's weird how they have both problems happening at the same time. I'm not too sure how to get around that issue, as I'm not a professional editor by any means, but I think it might be a byproduct of trying to cram too much setup into one movie just to catch up to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This suffers from the same problem as Iron Man 2 where albeit a fun movie, it's mostly entertaining because it brings in Black Widow and it starts building up the Cosmic Cube and all of the other elements that would pay dividends later. They essentially threw it all disjointedly into that movie to be able to skip forward and that's what happened with Dawn of Justice.

It's hard to ask people to sit through a 4-hour movie, but maybe that's what we should have gotten in order for them to tell the full story that needed to be told. Or, alternatively, maybe there should have been one movie to focus solely on establishing Batman and having him look into Superman while setting up Lex Luthor as the big bad, then they fight, and the end of the film has them being friends again, while the second film released a few months later would consist of the trinity, Wonder Woman's backstory, looking into the metahumans, fighting Doomsday (and possibly someone like Metallo) and doubling the box office by having two 2 and a half hour movies come out instead of one that really needed to be at least 3 and a half hours long. Then, you can even have some more fun with fleshing out other elements like having Batman talk to Commissioner Gordon, maybe throwing in the scene where The Joker kills Jason Todd to help set up Suicide Squad, and so forth.

Core Problem #3: Batman Shouldn't Kill

Under no circumstances should Batman kill. There's no excuses. I don't care if he's at a darker time in his life and he's disillusioned with the world. Batman should never do anything to kill someone no matter how bad they are.

Sure, he's inadvertently done things to lead to the death of different people, monsters and so forth in the comics, but it's always as a result of inaction or something you can get around. For example, it's okay that at one point in this movie, someone throws a grenade at him and he bounces it back. That's not Batman hooking a bomb to a clown and tossing him away to explode to death like in Batman Returns. I'll even argue that it's okay he shoots the flamethrower to stop KGBeast, as nothing definitively says he would die (or did die) as opposed to being burnt to a crisp. But why is Batman blowing up cars with people inside where it's impossible for them to have survived?

That's the line Batman refuses to ever cross, so you can't have him cross the line and then go back to acting like life is precious and should never be taken, which means now that he's killed people, there's no reason why he shouldn't just kill off The Joker for all he's done. With some slight tweaking to any of those potential deaths, the same story can be told without implying that Batman has murdered people. You lose nothing by having him not kill, you only gain respect because it's one less things the fans can complain about.

Core Problem #4: Motives for Fighting / Save Martha!

Here's a doozy, so strap yourselves in, as this section is going to be a long one.

It's made clear why Batman considers Superman a threat, so there's no problem there. Why Superman has a problem with Batman, though, is still problematic. The Ultimate Edition helps it a bit by showing Clark researching Batman's vigilantism and thinking that he's a menace, but it all feels contrived. There should be a scene somewhat early in the movie where he flat out states to Lois or someone else that after the events that transpired in Metropolis in Man of Steel, he feels personally responsible for policing the world and the more he looks into different threats, the more this Batman character seems to be a burden rather than a benefit. There's a perception that Batman is a killer and the discussion should be put out there that people are now comparing the two, saying Superman is the same as Batman, except he's more powerful and operates on a more global scale, which makes him even scarier. Clark, in an effort to prove to people that he isn't a corrupt vigilante, wants to take Batman down to show that he's there to stop people from getting hurt instead of imposing his own brand of justice. That should be explicitly stated and not just subtext hidden under multiple deleted scenes.

Clark is a great reporter and with his heightened senses, it's justified that he should learn who Batman is at that party scene, just as Bruce should figure out who Clark is. Also, as smart as Lex Luthor is, he shouldn't be able to pull the wool over Batman's eyes as much as he does. Bruce should somewhat know that he's being manipulated, but he's okay with it to an extent as he thinks it's all just leading him to the same goal he's trying to achieve, which is to stop Superman. He doesn't trust Lex by any means, but he trusts the enemy he knows more than the enemy he doesn't, and if push comes to shove, he thinks he and Lex can be a more united front against Superman because they're both human. Lex is an egomaniac and a bastard, but he's got some good points as far as wanting to protect the human race.

Lex holding Superman's mother hostage is a fine element. Clark holding it back against Bruce during their fight makes sense, too, because no matter what, he shouldn't be looking to kill him, only take him in to be arrested, but he also believes it's better for the optimistic arrest where Bruce turns himself in rather than to be dragged kicking and screaming. Right off the bat (no pun intended), he should also make it clear that Lex is playing puppet master, but Bruce should be too stubborn to want to listen. This is similar to what happens in the movie, but it's not emphasized enough. Clark should be saying things that are vague, which leads them open for misinterpretation. For example, instead of starting off the conversation with "Lex has my mom hostage and wants me to kill you", he should say something like "Lex is the real evil here, not me. I need your help. It's our job to keep people safe." which Bruce could then assume is a standard villain plot of "Join me and we can rule the galaxy together" in a way. Bruce is a dick. He doesn't like other people to be in charge and he doesn't trust Superman at all, so why would he want to listen to what he thinks is the sweet talk to convert him to the dark side?

And then there's the elephant in the room: the fact that the fight ends with the Martha name. It bugs a lot of people, and I can see why. I'll go on record in saying that I absolutely loved that they acknowledged that connection they had, since it's something I've wanted them to address for years, but the way they executed it was definitely flawed.
At the beginning of the movie, I immediately thought it was odd that Thomas Wayne only called out for Martha Wayne and that it might play into the events to transpire later. Just to downplay it a bit so it's more of a surprise for smarter audiences, Thomas should have called out for Bruce first, then Martha. That would justify flashing back to it a bit more as people wouldn't have paid as much attention to the Martha name being so blatantly obvious.

The line Clark says is also incredibly awkward. Why is he saying "save Martha" instead of "save my mother" or "Lex has my mom" or something like that? It's an unnatural way of speaking that nobody ever really does because they needed to have him say the name out loud for it to work. A slight reworking of that could be much less hokey where Batman isn't yelling back "Why did you say that name!?"

Let's take a look at the dialogue in the current version of the film:

"You're letting him kill Martha!" - Superman

"What does that mean? Why did you say that name?" - Batman

"Find...him.....save....Martha...." - Superman

"Why did you say that name?! Martha!? Why did you say that name!?" - Batman

"Stop! Please! Stop!" - Lois

"Why did you say that name!?" - Batman

"It's his mother's name! It's his mother's name." - Lois

First off, Batman should know it's his mother's name, because he's The World's Greatest Detective for fuck's sake. Second, this is exactly the type of screaming lunacy that we make fun of Christopher Nolan's trilogy for having done with some of those lines.

Try this on for size as an alternative rewrite:

"Bruce, stop! It's Luthor! You have to stop Luthor!" - Superman

"Shut up!" - Batman, who punches him in the throat, making it hard for Superman to breathe after all the gas he's inhaled.

"He'll...kill...her." - Superman, who starts to cough uncontrollably by now.

"What? What did you say?" - Batman stops attacking, as he cares about other people potentially being hurt.

"Stop! Please! Stop!" - Lois, running into the scene, yelling from a distance.

"M...moth...er..." - Superman struggles to get the words "my mother" out.

Batman mishears him as saying Martha and has flashbacks, paralyzing him in fear.

"Why did you say that name? Who is Martha? WHERE IS MARTHA?!" - Batman

"It's his mother's name! Martha's his mother's name." - Lois

Is it perfect? No. Is it better? I sure think so. It makes it a little more nuanced with Clark not just saying Martha for the hell of it. I'm sure someone else could take it to an even better level if they spent more than a couple minutes on it like I just did, but I think even on paper, this would have read weird and I'd have taken a lunch break to rewrite it a bit or played around with the dialogue when filming it.

Miscellaneous Extra Flaws & Nitpicking

Basically, those big problems above are the things that would have saved these movies and made them better as a whole, but there are smaller things that could have been changed as well. I'm obviously not going to nitpick every little detail, but a few things that stand out to me are as follows:

  1. The Emails – I like the idea that Lex Luthor has been doing research on metahumans, but why the hell does he have logos created for The Flash, Aquaman, Wonder Woman and Cyborg? That made no sense whatsoever. Those files should have just been labeled with random numbers or codes.
  2. The Flash's Beard – What's up with that facial hair on Ezra Miller? It looked awful.
  3. Have Mercy on Mercy – This doesn't hurt the movie too much, but I was disappointed to see Mercy Graves killed off. She's such a great character and I would have enjoyed seeing her be Lex's assistant in the future.
  4. Don't Kill Jimmy Olsen – I have never loved the whole sidekick young kid hanging out with Superman idea, but he's as much of an iconic supporting character as Alfred is to Batman. Jenny Jurwich in Man of Steel should have been Jimmy Olsen and he should have made another quick appearance here working for the Daily Planet, rather than being some CIA operative who gets a bullet in the brain. Who thinks of this shit and doesn't realize it will piss off fans of the source material?
  5. How Many Stayed That Way? – When Bruce asks Alfred how many good people are still left, he should have also clarified things more by saying Harvey Dent turned into Two-Face, Dick Grayson is off in Bludhaven, Barbara Gordon is paralyzed and Jason Todd is dead. It's implied, but why not just say it? Those name drops would get fans giddy.

Well, there you have it—some insight into how I would have changed things in hindsight if I was magically given me the ability to do so. Coming up soon will be Fanboys Fix It editions for Suicide Squad as well as Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens, so stay tuned for those!

What do you think of the changes that I would have made?
Do they make the movie better or worse?
What changes would you make?
Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!

6 Flicks Picks for December 2016 Movie Release Schedule

Posted by Anthony Mango - Thursday, December 1, 2016

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in December 2016?

What movies are coming out December 2016 6 Flicks Picks

RELEASE DATE: December 2, 2016

Jackie

Synopsis: Following the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy fights through grief and trauma to regain her faith, console her children, and define her husband's historic legacy.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Incarnate

Synopsis: A scientist with the ability to enter the subconscious minds of the possessed must save a young boy from the grips of a demon with powers never seen before, while facing the horrors of his past.

Will I watch? = No

The Eyes of My Mother

Synopsis: A young, lonely woman is consumed by her deepest and darkest desires after tragedy strikes her quiet country life.

Will I watch? = No

Things to Come

Synopsis: A philosophy teacher soldiers through the death of her mother, getting fired from her job, and dealing with a husband who is cheating on her.

Will I watch? = No

RELEASE DATE: December 9, 2016

La La Land

Synopsis: A jazz pianist falls for an aspiring actress in Los Angeles.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Office Christmas Party

Synopsis: When his uptight CEO sister threatens to shut down his branch, the branch manager throws an epic Christmas party in order to land a big client and save the day, but the party gets way out of hand...

Will I watch? = Maybe

Carefree

Synopsis: Set in Paris, Befikre is a free spirited, contemporary love story of Dharam and Shyra, who find love in an impulsive, engaging series of experiences. Doused in the spirit of Paris, it celebrates love- sensual, carefree and focused on living life to the fullest.

Will I watch? = No

Friend Request

Synopsis: When a college student unfriends a mysterious girl online, she finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends.

Will I watch? = No

Harry Benson: Shoot First

Synopsis: What we know today about many famous musicians, politicians, and actresses is due to the famous work of photographer Harry Benson. He captured vibrant and intimate photos of the most famous band in history;The Beatles. His extensive portfolio grew to include iconic photos of Muhammad Ali, Michael Jackson, and Dr. Martin Luther King. His wide-ranging work has appeared in publications including Life, Vanity Fair and The New Yorker. Benson, now 86, is still taking photos and has no intentions of stopping.

Will I watch? = No

RELEASE DATE: December 16, 2016

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Synopsis: The Rebellion makes a risky move to steal the plans to the Death Star, setting up the epic saga to follow.

Will I watch? = Yes

The Space Between Us

Synopsis: The first human born on Mars travels to Earth for the first time, experiencing the wonders of the planet through fresh eyes. He embarks on an adventure with a street smart girl to discover how he came to be.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Collateral Beauty

Synopsis: Retreating from life after a tragedy, a man questions the universe by writing to Love, Time and Death. Receiving unexpected answers, he begins to see how these things interlock and how even loss can reveal moments of meaning and beauty.

Will I watch? = Yes

A Kind of Murder

Synopsis: In 1960s New York, Walter Stackhouse is a successful architect married to the beautiful Clara who leads a seemingly perfect life. But his fascination with an unsolved murder leads him into a spiral of chaos as he is forced to play cat-and-mouse with a clever killer and an overambitious detective, while at the same time lusting after another woman.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Neruda

Synopsis: An inspector hunts down Nobel Prize-winning Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda, who becomes a fugitive in his home country in the late 1940s for joining the Communist Party.

Will I watch? = No

Solace

Synopsis: A psychic works with the FBI in order to hunt down a serial killer.

Will I watch? = Yes

RELEASE DATE: December 23, 2016

Sing

Synopsis: A koala named Buster Moon has one final chance to restore his theater to its former glory by producing the world's greatest singing competition.

Will I watch? = No

Passengers

Synopsis: A spacecraft traveling to a distant colony planet and transporting thousands of people has a malfunction in its sleep chambers. As a result, two passengers are awakened 90 years early.

Will I watch? = Yes

A Monster Calls

Synopsis: A boy seeks the help of a tree monster to cope with his single mom's terminal illness.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Assassin's Creed

Synopsis: When Callum Lynch explores the memories of his ancestor Aguilar and gains the skills of a Master Assassin, he discovers he is a descendant of the secret Assassins society.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Patriots Day

Synopsis: An account of Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis's actions in the events leading up to the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing and the aftermath, which includes the city-wide manhunt to find the terrorists behind it.

Will I watch? = No

Why Him?

Synopsis: A dad forms a bitter rivalry with his daughter's young rich boyfriend.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Silence

Synopsis: In the seventeenth century, two Jesuit priests face violence and persecution when they travel to Japan to locate their mentor and propagate Christianity.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Julieta

Synopsis: After a casual encounter, a brokenhearted woman decides to confront her life and the most important events about her stranded daughter.

Will I watch? = No

RELEASE DATE: December 30, 2016

Live by Night

Synopsis: A story set in the Prohibition Era and centered around a group of individuals and their dealings in the world of organized crime.

Will I watch? = Yes

Hidden Figures

Synopsis: A team of African-American women provide NASA with important mathematical data needed to launch the program's first successful space missions.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Fences

Synopsis: An African-American father struggles with race relations in the United States while trying to raise his family in the 1950s and coming to terms with the events of his life.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Gold

Synopsis: An unlikely pair venture to the Indonesian jungle in search of gold.

Will I watch? = Maybe

20th Century Women

Synopsis: The story of three women who explore love and freedom in Southern California during the late 1970s.

Will I watch? = No

Paterson

Synopsis: Set in the present in Paterson, New Jersey, this is a tale about a bus driver and poet.

Will I watch? = No

Toni Erdmann

Synopsis: A father tries to reconnect with his adult daughter.

Will I watch? = No

6 FLICKS PICKS

Which films make the cut?

HONORABLE MENTIONS: This is the start of Oscars season, which means there's a ton of movies that have a LOT of potential. I counted well over a dozen films that could have made the list on a weaker month, but since this results in some heavy competition, I needed to narrow things down to the ones that stood out to me the most as the ones I'd actually pay to see as opposed to those that I think I might need to eventually watch before the Academy Awards. This is why you won't see Gold, Fences, Jackie, Silence, Hidden Figures, or A Kind of Murder on the list even though all seemed like they could be great. I've heard nothing but amazing things about La La Land but I tend to dislike period pieces as well as musicals, so it doesn't stand a chance compared to some other films on this list. Then, you have your stupid comedies which will offset all the dramas and probably make a lot of money since there don't seem to be that many this year, which means despite Office Christmas Party and Why Him? looking very "by the numbers" basic, they could make some bank. Finally, Assassin's Creed is going to be on a lot of lists, but I've never played the games, I don't trust the track record of video game movies, and the trailers haven't won me over yet, although I'm still interested. All of these films are ones that I could be checking out somewhere down the line.

6. [TIE] A Monster Calls / The Space Between Us — I literally cannot pick between these two. I tried, in the interest of keeping this the standard 6 picks, but after several days thinking on it, I couldn't decide. Both of them are similar in how they're the coming of age tale of a young boy with some other-worldly element added into the mix. Both look endearing, both look to be a refreshing change of pace to some of the other things coming out, and I'm equally interested in them to the point where there's no deciding factor to distinguish which one wins out to make the list.

5. Solace — Anthony Hopkins is awesome and when you basically do a reverse Hannibal where he's the one tracking down a serial killer, but you also add in that he has psychic powers, that's got me hooked.

4. Live by Night — While I think Argo is overrated, I thought The Town was great and this trailer gave me the impression that it could be the next awesome crime drama. Ben Affleck has really turned his career around, which is awesome to see. I'm expecting this to be one of those films that gets a lot of buzz but doesn't actually take home a bunch of Academy Awards in a "close, but no cigar" type fashion.

3. Passengers — I've been interested in this since I first heard the description about it and the more I get to see, the less I want to see, because I don't want it to be spoiled. This could be one of those sleeper films I end up loving the most out of the year.

2. Collateral Beauty — Will Smith is fantastic and he's joined by one hell of a supporting cast. I loved Seven Pounds and this seems like a similar tale but amped up with even more things that interest me. If you can talk to the personification and embodiment of Death and other more intangible concepts like that, how would that go down? I'm utterly fascinated by it and the first time I saw a preview for this film, I immediately whipped out my phone and wrote down a note to remember to see it.

1. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story — Come on. It's Star Wars, baby. It has Darth fucking Vader in it. There's no contest, if I had to see only one film this December, it would be this.

WHICH MOVIES ARE YOU INTERESTED IN CHECKING OUT?
TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!

Marvel's Doctor Strange Movie Reviewpoint - Hits & Misses of the Film

Posted by Anthony Mango - Friday, November 4, 2016

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous Reviewpoint podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of the latest entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe: Doctor Strange.

What were the positives and negatives of Doctor Strange? Did it live up to the hype or was it a disappointment?

Check out the podcast below on YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher. Make sure to subscribe and tell us your thoughts on Doctor Strange in the comments below!


Doctor Strange (2016)

DIRECTED BY
Scott Derrickson

WRITTEN BY
Jon Spaihts, Scott Derrickson, and C. Robert Cargill

STARRING:
Benedict Cumberbatch (Dr. Stephen Strange), Rachel McAdams (Christine Palmer), Tilda Swinton (The Ancient One), Mads Mikkelsen (Kaecilius), Chiwetel Ejiofor (Baron Mordo), and Benedict Wong (Wong)

Marvel's Doctor Strange follows the story of the talented neurosurgeon Doctor Stephen Strange who, after a tragic car accident, must put ego aside and learn the secrets of a hidden world of mysticism and alternate dimensions. Based in New York City's Greenwich Village, Doctor Strange must act as an intermediary between the real world and what lies beyond, utilizing a vast array of metaphysical abilities and artifacts to protect the Marvel cinematic universe.

movie review Doctor Strange podcast

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Minute Man Reviews Doctor Strange in 60 Seconds

Posted by Anthony Mango - Thursday, November 3, 2016

On the latest edition of Minute Man Reviews hosted by Tony Mango, Doctor Strange is given as full of a review as possible in under 60 seconds.

Check out the video below and be sure to subscribe and leave your comments on what you thought of Doctor Strange!


Doctor Strange (2016)

DIRECTED BY
Scott Derrickson

WRITTEN BY
Jon Spaihts, Scott Derrickson, and C. Robert Cargill

STARRING:
Benedict Cumberbatch (Dr. Stephen Strange), Rachel McAdams (Christine Palmer), Tilda Swinton (The Ancient One), Mads Mikkelsen (Kaecilius), Chiwetel Ejiofor (Baron Mordo), and Benedict Wong (Wong)

Marvel's Doctor Strange follows the story of the talented neurosurgeon Doctor Stephen Strange who, after a tragic car accident, must put ego aside and learn the secrets of a hidden world of mysticism and alternate dimensions. Based in New York City's Greenwich Village, Doctor Strange must act as an intermediary between the real world and what lies beyond, utilizing a vast array of metaphysical abilities and artifacts to protect the Marvel cinematic universe.

movie review Doctor Strange podcast

6 Flicks Picks for November 2016 Movie Release Schedule

Posted by Anthony Mango - Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Welcome to another edition of 6 Flicks Picks, wherein I list all of the upcoming films that are scheduled to be released in the United States for the month which is about to begin and break down which ones I'll be watching in theaters, which ones I'll wait to rent at home, and which ones I'll be skipping out on entirely. After going through the list, I'll choose which six films stand out to me as the ones I want to see the most, even if there are more or less than six that interest me.

Note: The list below is based primarily off the expanded nationwide USA release dates on IMDB as well as some other random outlets if possible, so some information may be different. If I am missing some of the limited releases or the dates conflict in some fashion, please let me know in the comments below and any adjustments and corrections will be made!

Without further ado, another new month means another new set of films, so what's coming soon to theaters in November 2016?

What movies are coming out November 2016 6 Flicks Picks

RELEASE DATE: November 4, 2016

Doctor Strange

Synopsis: A former neurosurgeon embarks on a journey of healing only to be drawn into the world of the mystic arts.

Will I watch? = Yes

Trolls

Synopsis: A troll princess and her companion, the one unhappy troll try to rescue her friends from being eaten by their nemeses.

Will I watch? = No

Hacksaw Ridge

Synopsis: WWII American Army Medic Desmond T. Doss, who served during the Battle of Okinawa, refuses to kill people and becomes the first Conscientious Objector in American history to be awarded the Medal of Honor.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Loving

Synopsis: Richard and Mildred Loving, an interracial couple, are sentenced to prison in Virginia in 1958 for getting married.

Will I watch? = No

The Eagle Huntress

Synopsis: The Eagle Huntress follows Aisholpan, a 13-year-old girl, as she trains to become the first female in twelve generations of her Kazakh family to become an eagle hunter.

Will I watch? = No

Peter and the Farm

Synopsis: Peter Dunning is the proud proprietor of Mile Hill Farm, which sits on 187 acres in Vermont. The land's 38 harvests have seen the arrivals and departures of three wives and four children, leaving Peter with only animals and memories. The arrival of a film crew causes him to confront his history and his legacy, passing along hard-won agricultural wisdom even as he doubts the meaning of the work he is fated to perform until death. Haunted by alcoholism and regret, Peter veers between elation and despair, often suggesting to the filmmakers his own suicide as a narrative device. He is a tragedian on a stage it has taken him most of his life to build, and which now threatens to collapse from under him. At once a postcard from paradise and a cautionary tale for our times, Peter and The Farm sifts through the potential energy of a human life, that which is used and that which is squandered.

Will I watch? = No

RELEASE DATE: November 11, 2016

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Synopsis: 19-year-old Billy Lynn is brought home for a victory tour after a harrowing Iraq battle. Through flashbacks the film shows what really happened to his squad - contrasting the realities of war with America's perceptions.

Will I watch? = No

Almost Christmas

Synopsis: A dysfunctional family gathers together for their first Thanksgiving since their mom died.

Will I watch? = No

Arrival

Synopsis: A linguist is recruited by the military to assist in translating alien communications.

Will I watch? = Yes

Shut In

Synopsis: A heart-pounding thriller about a widowed child psychologist who lives in an isolated existence in rural New England. Caught in a deadly winter storm, she must find a way to rescue a young boy before he disappears forever.

Will I watch? = No

Elle

Synopsis: A successful businesswoman gets caught up in a game of cat and mouse as she tracks down the unknown man who raped her.

Will I watch? = No

The Love Witch

Synopsis: A modern-day witch uses spells and magic to get men to fall in love with her, in a tribute to 1960s pulp novels and Technicolor melodramas.

Will I watch? = No

RELEASE DATE: November 18, 2016

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Synopsis: The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York's secret community of witches and wizards seventy years before Harry Potter reads his book in school.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Edge of Seventeen

Synopsis: High-school life gets even more unbearable for Nadine when her best friend, Krista, starts dating her older brother.

Will I watch? = No

Bleed for This

Synopsis: The inspirational story of World Champion Boxer Vinny Pazienza who, after a near fatal car crash, which left him not knowing if he'd ever walk again, made one of sports most incredible comebacks.

Will I watch? = No

Manchester by the Sea

Synopsis: An uncle is forced to take care of his teenage nephew after the boy's father dies.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Nocturnal Animals

Synopsis: An art gallery owner is haunted by her ex-husband's novel, a violent thriller she interprets as a veiled threat and a symbolic revenge tale.

Will I watch? = Maybe

The Eyes of My Mother

Synopsis: A young, lonely woman is consumed by her deepest and darkest desires after tragedy strikes her quiet country life.

Will I watch? = No

A Street Cat Named Bob

Synopsis: Based on the international best selling book. The true feel good story of how James Bowen, a busker and recovering drug addict, had his life transformed when he met a stray ginger cat.

Will I watch? = No

Life on the Line

Synopsis: A crew of men who do the high-wire work of fixing the electrical grid are hit by a sudden deadly storm.

Will I watch? = No

RELEASE DATE: November 25, 2016

Moana

Synopsis: A young woman uses her navigational talents to set sail for a fabled island. Joining her on the adventure is her hero, the legendary demi-god Maui.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Bad Santa 2

Synopsis: Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie teams up once again with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve.

Will I watch? = Yes

Lion

Synopsis: A five-year-old Indian boy gets lost on the streets of Calcutta, thousands of kilometers from home. He survives many challenges before being adopted by a couple in Australia; 25 years later, he sets out to find his lost family.

Will I watch? = No

Allied

Synopsis: In 1942, an intelligence officer in North Africa encounters a female French Resistance fighter on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. When they reunite in London, their relationship is tested by the pressures of war.

Will I watch? = Maybe

Rules Don't Apply

Synopsis: An unconventional love story of an aspiring actress, her determined driver, and the eccentric billionaire who they work for.

Will I watch? = No

Mifune: The Last Samurai

Synopsis: This story revolves around a Japanese samurai known as mifune. He is from a humble farm in Hiroshima who must protect his family from yet another attack by the Americans. Watch as he battles through tough mobsters such as the yakuza.

Will I watch? = No
6 FLICKS PICKS

Which films make the cut?

6. Manchester by the Sea — This is sort of on par with Allied and Nocturnal Animals, narrowly beating out Moana at the moment (but that is much more likely of a film I'll watch) but what gives it a slight edge into the final six above them is how I get the feeling that after watching it, I wouldn't feel disappointed. It seems like the trailers present a rather straightforward drama about a man becoming a surrogate father, but the other two films could turn in weird directions that might ruin the films. I wouldn't be super excited to see Manchester by the Sea, although come time for the Academy Awards, I have a feeling Casey Affleck will be in the running for Best Actor and watching this in advance should be good homework.

5. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them — Harry Potter is certainly not my favorite franchise, but I do appreciate the series. I'm not too excited about this prequel, though, as it's set in an era that I have no special interest in, which may prove to be a bit of a barrier. However, why not, right?

4. Hacksaw Ridge — After years of being in the doghouse, this movie has turned Mel Gibson's career around into the positive. That's saying something, considering all the crazy stuff he had going on before. If it's that good, then I'm intrigued, and the fact that it has Oscar buzz just amplifies that.

3. Arrival — This feels like the darker version of Contact. Hopefully, it's more along those lines of a true "first contact" film rather than turning into a thriller of some sort. I'm very curious about this.

2. Bad Santa 2 — There's only three movies I make a point to watch every Christmas, which are the first two Home Alone films and Bad Santa. Of course I'm seeing this.

1. Doctor Strange — As much as I'm not a fan of the character, I've had my tickets for well over a week already.

WHICH MOVIES ARE YOU INTERESTED IN CHECKING OUT?
TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!

Unboxing SuperHeroStuff VILLAINS HeroBox October 2016

Posted by Anthony Mango - Friday, October 28, 2016

We're back with another unboxing video from SuperHeroStuff.com for October 2016 to celebrate the Halloween season. Since that's the time for everyone to embrace their inner dark side, what better theme is there than a VILLAINS mystery box?


Do you have an evil streak? Do you yearn to bring the universe under your whim, to answer your beck and call? Do you often flush the toilet while loved ones are in the shower, or tie their shoelaces together while they aren't paying attention, or slightly unscrew the salt shaker? Then you are in luck because we now have the Villains HeroBox from SuperheroStuff! Hopefully you really aren't evil and you just appreciate the Dark Side of things...or if you really are evil, please don't hurt us! You'll love the stuff you'll find in the SuperHeroStuff Villains HeroBox!

Gold Edition: $69 for $100+ worth of goodies
Silver Edition: $49 for $70+ worth of goodies

If you want to get in on the fun and reserve yourself some cool stuff for next month, place your order at SuperHeroStuff HeroBox and use the code 15-HERO-BOX to save 15% off your order of $40+.

Thanks again to SuperHeroStuff for sending this our way!

HeroBox Gold Edition Unboxing SuperHeroStuff

INFERNO Movie Reviewpoint - Hits & Misses of the Film

Posted by Anthony Mango - Thursday, October 27, 2016

On the latest edition of the Fanboys Anonymous Reviewpoint podcast, host Tony Mango breaks down the hits and misses of the latest installment of Dan Brown's Robert Langdon series, Inferno.

What were the positives and negatives of Inferno? Did it live up to the hype or was it a disappointment?

Check out the podcast below on YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher. Make sure to subscribe and tell us your thoughts on Inferno in the comments below!


Inferno (2016)

DIRECTED BY
Ron Howard

WRITTEN BY
David Koepp (screenplay), based on the novel by Dan Brown

STARRING:
Tom Hanks (Robert Langdon), Felicity Jones (Sienna Brooks), Omar Sy (Christoph Bouchard), Irrfan Khan (Harry Sims), Sidse Babett Knudsen (Elizabeth Sinskey) and Ben Foster (Bertrand Zobrist)

Famous symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) follows a trail of clues tied to Dante, the great medieval poet. When Langdon wakes up in an Italian hospital with amnesia, he teams up with Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones), a doctor he hopes will help him recover his memories. Together, they race across Europe and against the clock to stop a madman (Ben Foster) from unleashing a virus that could wipe out half of the world's population.

movie review Inferno podcast

logo Stitcher Radio icon transparent logo iTunes icon transparent

On the latest edition of Minute Man Reviews hosted by Tony Mango, the follow-up to The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons entitled Inferno is given as full of a review as possible in under 60 seconds.

Check out the video below and be sure to subscribe and leave your comments on what you thought of Inferno!


Inferno (2016)

DIRECTED BY
Ron Howard

WRITTEN BY
David Koepp (screenplay), based on the novel by Dan Brown

STARRING:
Tom Hanks (Robert Langdon), Felicity Jones (Sienna Brooks), Omar Sy (Christoph Bouchard), Irrfan Khan (Harry Sims), Sidse Babett Knudsen (Elizabeth Sinskey) and Ben Foster (Bertrand Zobrist)

Famous symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) follows a trail of clues tied to Dante, the great medieval poet. When Langdon wakes up in an Italian hospital with amnesia, he teams up with Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones), a doctor he hopes will help him recover his memories. Together, they race across Europe and against the clock to stop a madman (Ben Foster) from unleashing a virus that could wipe out half of the world's population.

movie review Inferno podcast

Top 10 Crushes on Fall 2016 TV Season's Sexiest Women List

Posted by Anthony Mango - Friday, October 14, 2016

One of the longer-running segments here on Fanboys Anonymous has been the annual breakdown of the top 10 women on my television screen that I seem to be developing a bit of a crush on—fictional or otherwise—based on the shows that I'm currently watching. We've had characters over the years that range from marriage material like the lovable Tracy from How I Met Your Mother or stone-cold foxes who just exude sexuality like Sarah Shahi's Sameen Shaw from Person of Interest.

Which women are going to make the list this year? Let's go ahead and find out.

sexiest chicks TV 2016 hottest girls on television

Before we get started, I want to preface a few things. While the physical appearance is naturally dependent upon the actresses cast in those roles, the personality is judged entirely on the characters themselves and not the actresses. Someone could be a horrible human being, but they're playing a sweetheart of a character and that's why they're on the list. Likewise, an actress could be gorgeous and a total humanitarian, but they're an evil villain I would want nothing to do with. The judgment system is entirely on the looks and personality of the characters and not anything from behind the scenes. Bonus points might seep in, but there isn't a points system, so I try to ignore that as much as possible.

In no particular order, here is the list of the top 10 ladies who have caught my attention this season (so far):

Daisy Johnson / Quake / Skye (Chloe Bennet) from Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD Quake Ghost Rider Chloe Bennet photos

Since I started doing this list, there are only two people who have made it every list, and while she's changed her name from Skye to Daisy to Quake to Tremors and all sorts of other things, Chloe Bennet's character in Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is one of them. She just continues to have it going for her. Admittedly, the more I see of Chloe Bennet herself doing cute things and coming off as a genuinely great person, the more I start attributing those qualities to her character, so that taints it a bit, but that's not to say the Daisy character doesn't have some of those qualities to begin with. I absolutely hate the overuse of the phrase "strong female character," but it's applicable here for sure. Daisy started off as a loner hacker orphan who was thrust into a world she couldn't comprehend, and over the course of a few seasons she's become one of the top agents in the organization who is reliable to put the mission above herself. When she struggles, it's usually due to her dedication to her friends or a confusion about the mission itself, not out of greed or laziness or anything like that. Sure, she's got her attitude problems—for example, she tends to have fistfights with every guy she hooks up with—but that's because it's a Marvel show, and with her having powers, that's a means to create tension. I'm sure if I were an agent working out of that base of operations, I'd be scoping Daisy out all the time.

Jemma Simmons (Elizabeth Henstridge) from Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Jemma Simmsons pics Elizabeth Henstridge season 4 AOS
She doesn't really seem to be smiling all that much this season...

I talked about Daisy, but while there have been plenty of worthwhile women from the same show that could also have made the list (Melinda May, Bobbi Morse, etc) the only other constant has been Jemma Simmons. She's an adorable genius with a good heart and a British accent, what's not to love? Elizabeth Henstridge is criminally underrated in the looks department, and while her character has had her share of moments where Jemma could have come off as irresponsible, standoffish, selfish, or bitchy, she's managed to breathe a sort of pitiful quality into it all to make it forgivable. In the end, everything Jemma does is for the benefit of her friends, and now that the character has finally hooked up with Leo Fitz, a lot of that edge has been taken off. In this season more than ever, she's just a flat-out likable character with no problems to get in the way (yet, at least), and every time she smiles, I just want to go "d'awww."

Ella Lopez (Aimee Garcia) from Lucifer

Lucifer pics Aimee Garcia Ella Lopez screenshots

If Rush Hour had premiered earlier last year, Aimee Garcia's character Didi Diaz would have made the list, but it didn't debut until March of 2016. Since that show's been cancelled and Garcia has joined the cast of Lucifer as a character that has similar qualities but has actually toned down some of the sass in favor of amping up the cuter quirks that she has, all the better!

Ella Lopez fits a lot of check marks on my list: she's smart, a good person, and has a sense of humor, and all that is wrapped up in a pretty package.

Since I didn't want to include more than two characters from the same show, I had to bump Dr. Kim Martin (Rachael Harris) from last year's list, as she hasn't been as prominently featured this year. That's a shame, though, as she's still funny and attractive in her own way, but Ella Lopez and our next entry took precedence over her. Who is the other woman who usurped the spot?

Charlotte Richards (Tricia Helfer) from Lucifer

Tricia Helfer pics Lucifer season 2

Okay, I'll admit it. This choice has absolutely nothing to do with personality. Tricia Helfer is just so goddamn hot that I can't have this list and not include her. While Lesley-Ann Brandt's Mazikeen character didn't make the list last year or this year because her sexy side didn't make up for her psychotic tendencies, I have to make an exception for Charlotte. There's just something about Tricia Helfer that I've been immeasurably attracted to in everything I've seen her in. Her character in Burn Notice wasn't a good person if I remember correctly, but I still dug her. I can't remember anything about her character in Two and a Half Men other than that she was hot. She certainly wasn't a role model in Community, but that didn't matter.

Who cares? Just look at her. Being behind the fourth wall, I know full well that her character is the literal mother of the devil who technically should be even above him on the list of the most evil characters in the history of creation, but if you put me in Los Angeles and she so much as winks at me, I'm sold. Also, think about all the puns I could make about her being a demon in the sack and such!

Amaya Jiwe (Maisie Richardson-Sellers) from DC's Legends of Tomorrow

DC TV Vixen Amaya Jiwe images Maisie Richardson-Sellers Legends of Tomorrow

Season 2 has just started and this character was literally only seen for a split second, so I'm jumping the gun, but I already know from the trailers and previews that I'm going to end up wanting to put her on the list. I've never been too into the Vixen superhero, but Maisie Richardson-Sellers is absolutely gorgeous to that same special tier level that I mentioned with Tricia Helfer. The one positive that works in her advantage even more, though, is that her character is going to be heroic, so I know she definitely won't have anywhere near as many negatives as Charlotte from Lucifer. Essentially, she'll end up being a very positive person who has a few flaws for storyline purposes, but nobody's perfect, and obviously they can't take a superhero and make them some racist baby-killing monster, so I'm sure whatever smudges she has on her record will be more than easy to ignore in comparison to the positives.

Iris West (Candice Patton) from The Flash


It's funny to look back on the previous years and see what things remain constant and which things change. In the 2013–2014 season, Iris West didn't exist. Instead, Felicity from Arrow was there, and that character eventually became the reason I stopped watching the show entirely. Iris did make the cut in 2014–2015, but almost hesitantly, as her character wasn't really doing all that much from the start of the first season but I had a good feeling about her. She made the list last year as well, but I considered putting Patty Spivot over her in a retroactive vote.

This season seems like it will revolve even more around Iris, but I'm actually a fan of that. While Arrow spends too much time trying to make #Olicity the focal point, The Flash is still about Barry Allen and his powers more than anything else. We all know Oliver Queen should have ended up with Black Canary, but the Tumblr mentality that got behind the Felicity character turned it into a show about how she complains but is always right and Ollie just puts his head down like a weak little puppy and agrees, then praises her for some reason. Iris, on the other hand, proves herself to actually be Barry's rock like a good couple should be. She's supportive of him, but not in an enabling way, and unlike Felicity, she isn't written as a superior, but an ally. Hell, she even tells him he can go back in time to change history just so he can be happy…TWICE!! She just lets him know that while she supports his decision, she wants to make sure he takes necessary precautions. Now that's a woman you can call a partner in your relationship, as opposed to an Olicity combination which is just a codependent and essentially mutually abusive one.

Plus, Candice Patton's nice to look at :P

Detective Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero) from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Melissa Fumero pics Amy Santiago

The only character other than Daisy Johnson who has made the list all four years is Detective Amy Santiago. Nothing has really changed from season to season about her character, so if you're interested in knowing why she's been on the list four times, just check the previous years. She's awkward and cute and smart and pretty. The end.

Trish Murtaugh (Keesha Sharp) from Lethal Weapon

Trish Murtaugh TV Lethal Weapon Keesha Sharp pics

Trish has a ton of great things going for her. Like the situation with Iris and Barry, Trish is an incredibly supportive partner to her husband Roger, but she also isn't a pushover. She manages to have a no-nonsense tough side to her without being domineering or bitchy—something that is surprisingly difficult for many screenwriters to do, oddly enough. Keesha Sharp also has a swagger where you can tell she knows that she has it going for her, cause, well, she does. Beautiful woman with a great smile and as far as Trish goes, in just a few episodes she's proven that she's a warm, kind, inviting, loving mother and wife who is somehow able to put up with not just Roger's shit but Martin's as well.

Maureen Cahill (Jordana Brewster) from Lethal Weapon

Jordana Brewster Lethal Weapon TV Maureen Cahill

I just think Jordana Brewster is hot. That's about it, really, other than her character being compassionate and smart. Mostly, though, it's for her looks—particularly her eyes.

Claire Temple (Rosario Dawson) from Marvel's Luke Cage

Rosario Dawson screenshot images Claire Temple Luke Cage
I also don't like coffee, but I'll go for some (and some Chinese food)

While Luke Cage doesn't fit under the same specifications as the network television shows, because it's on Netflix, being a VOD platform doesn't mean it isn't still a television show. Its premiere was in late September, so it qualifies as a fall 2016 show.

If you want more clarification on why Claire Temple was chosen instead of Misty Knight, Reva Connors or anyone else, click on the Wed, Bed or Dead article and you'll find out why she beats them out.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

I thought about putting some of the women from Big Brother: Over the Top as I can never really utilize that show for this list, since every season comes out in the summer. However, while Morgan and Alex Willett have piqued my interest along with Shelby Stockton, it's kind of not fair for them to be on a list of characters when they're just normal people. It's a reality show, so I would be judging actual people on their actual personalities and looks, which is somewhat separate. Therefore, I disqualified them.

I also put a lot of consideration into adding Van (Zazie Beetz) from Atlanta until the episode that revolved around her smoking weed the night before her drug test and trying to prevent being fired from it. Not only was that the first episode I didn't enjoy on an entertainment spectrum, but it killed the credibility her "higher-than-thou" character had going for it, which I know was likely the point, but it still demoted her to a problematic level. I have no tolerance for people who get negative repercussions for drug use. You know it's frowned upon and you get what you deserve, basically. Bye Felicia.

There are a ton of very, very attractive women on Gotham, but holy shit are they all so messed up. Leslie Thompkins (Morena Baccarin) is hyper judgmental. Valerie Vale (Jamie Chung) is bitchy and untrustworthy. While Maggie Geha herself is one year younger than I am (she's 28) and very hot, in the timeline context of the show, Poison Ivy is still a teenage Ivy Pepper, so knowing that just makes it creepy as hell. Barbara Kean (Erin Richards) and Tabitha Galavan (Jessica Lucas) are still gorgeous women, but their characters are sociopaths.

In a way, the same applies to the women of Westworld. I'm not the biggest Evan Rachel Wood fan out there, but there are positives to her character until you find out that she's probably going to be the biggest murdering robot of the bunch. When Tessa Thompson, Angela Sarafyan, Thandie Newton and Ingrid Bolsø Berdal are attractive but they follow the same path of being artificial intelligent robots who will kill you, it's kind of hard to justify them taking up a spot over someone like Ella Lopez, isn't it?

I normally include Penny (Kaley Cuoco) from The Big Bang Theory and Paige Dineen (Katharine McPhee) from Scorpion, but I actually haven't even bothered with Scorpion yet and I have a feeling I might stop watching that series, while Penny's character has just stalemated with me and didn't take priority over anybody else.

I'm interested to see if there are any characters from some upcoming shows that haven't debuted yet which I'll be checking out, such as The Great Indoors, Riverdale, Training Day, Falling Water, and Powerless, but that remains to be seen. The later debuts always get shafted on this list, which is why Mary (Dilshad Vadsaria) from Second Chance never made it into the group last year, even though she would have if it premiered earlier than December.

Well those are the top ten women I'm watching on television right now, but since that's all from my own likes/dislikes and opinions, I'm curious who everyone else has on their lists instead. Make sure to sound off in the comments below about the men and women on TV that you currently have a little bit of a thing for!

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